Alone

[Terra]

I meet with my dean today. All I really wanted was to get in, get my degree, transition enough that hopefully I pass at least decently, and get out to go on with my life. Now I am unsure of where my dorm room is, if they even will let me stay in the dorm, and I have a 'meet and greet' with my dean. I know this is Wyoming and I realized that this would probably cause a stir, but this is getting so complicated already when I haven't even started class! So far i've meet the lawyer, dean, assistent dean, counselor, and 5 other staff members!

Meeting with the housing director first to even see about a reduced rate on my housing because I was trying to avoid trouble in the first place with a single room. I place the petition that I have only a night to prepare, and am told that I should have an answer by the end of the day when the board meets. This was Wendsday. Then I'm told to come back Friday, and then next Wendsday! All the while no one can tell me anything about what's going on, they refuse to and tell me to wait! I start class in 10 days and I don't even know how to set up a payment plan because I don't know what my bill is because my housing situation is in the air! Great!

It gets better, this same day I go to meet the dean and basically tell him my life story because I'm trying to show that i'm just trying to cooperate because I want to stay as low profile as possible. It turns into a 2 hour meeting that does nothing but tell me that he does not think I'm ready to transition (former therapist) and feels that I should identify myself more before I think of transitioning on campus. The one line I kept hearing is that they are trying to watch out for my needs and the needs of the community. I also kept hearing how they needed to be so cautions about me eating in the residence halls and being in the dorms. All in all he did everything but show me the door and tell me to watch my butt.

I wanted to yell at him that I know the dangers, I sat by my friend's bed in the hospital after she was stabbed. I have been attacked myself! If I had gotten accepted anywhere else I would have gone there! On top of that, I know more about myself and who I am becoming more then he could know, and he could take all his suggestions about specialists and stick it! Where could I find a gender specialist in Wyoming let alone in this dinky college town?

I'm hoping that the students are a lot better about this as I go. But this series of meetings today has most certainly destroyed any optimism or hope about this college experience at this point. My family doesn't want to make up its mind about me, the school is only grudgingly accepting me, and I haven't even started class and already I'm having to worry about so much. What is going to happen to me come January when I start full time? I'm so sick of feeling so utterly alone.

[HelenW]

Hugs, Angel!

It seems amazing that a "former therapist" could think he knows so much about you after just a short meeting like that.  I, for one, don't believe it.  I think he was merely presenting his opinion as fact, probably because a transitioning student might prove to be a little more trouble and a bit more work than someone who isn't.

Does this school have a GLBT resource?  A club perhaps or a faculty advisor?  I think that you would be most likely to get some help from that direction.  Being more experienced with the school's bureaucratic infrastructure, they might be able to assist you in navigating through the treacherous waters you currently find yourself in.

Besides all this I think you will find out that a college bureaucracy can be just as confusing and frustrating as any on the planet.  Delays, mixed instructions and buck passers can be all to common in those situations.  Do your best to remain patient, calm and confident in your quest.  This will help a lot more than taking an adversarial approach, even though they seem to be asking for it.

And remember, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Cindi Jones]

I'd find off campus housing and leave the school administration completely out of it.  They have nothing to do with the direction your life takes.  When you change your name, file your paperwork with them.  When you transition, do what you need to do legally to get by. 

Use your school counselors for direction in getting your degree.  Use your therapist for help in dealing with life issues.  Don't let the two get mixed together.

Make sure that you make the decisions that affect your life.  Seize control and erase the power they have over you.  This is your life and not theirs.  You'll do fine.

Cindi

[Terra]

Does this school have a GLBT resource?  A club perhaps or a faculty advisor?  I think that you would be most likely to get some help from that direction.  Being more experienced with the school's bureaucratic infrastructure, they might be able to assist you in navigating through the treacherous waters you currently find yourself in.

*nods towards Emelye*

Yes, I did ask the local GLBT director to sit in on the conversation. Unfortunetly, he was silent most of the time. I think he took notes but didn't add much except offer to help find a gender specilist. So basically not much help or support.

There was talk about me being willing to educate students, but they said it would be mostly on my effort to do so. I'm so ready to go to the local newspaper or even TV station on January and ask if they want an interview. I started out trying not to rock the boat, but I will rock it if I need to. If they fear a PR disaster, they should. 

As for housing, I can't afford to live off campus as I can barely come up with the money I need for school. As I'm trying to become a teacher I have to avoid loans as much as possible. I also wanted the dorms because I would get utilities free like internet, which I guess is how we do homework and turn it in. *shrugs* If the housing director doesn't come up with a satisfactory arrangement, I'll demand a roommate. I'll deal with whatever it takes for me to get my degree!

I'm going to college, even if it kills me!

[RebeccaFog]

  i like your attitude, Kid.

  Since Dean pinhead is so worried about the other students, maybe you should go directly to them?  Maybe you can meet with some of the student leaders or student group leaders, tell them your story and ask them if they will show support for you to the administration.

  I don't know anything about schools, so it's up to you to decide if I'm insane or not.  Whatever happens, I wish you the best.  You have the same right as every other student to get a good education and to be treated with respect.

Peace,

Rebis

[Lorelei]

People sometimes unwittingly try to take away your pride, your self-respect but they cannot take away your education once you have it. 
Do whatever it takes to survive and you will always be a success in your own eyes as well as the worlds.  I give you much love and respect for your goals in life, not everyone has them.  Much success to and remember you are never alone, in the sunshine your shadow (you) never leaves your side.  All you need is yourself.