I can relate to your situation. I feel cheated too. I have been a crossdresser for as long as I can remember. When I lived alone, I used to dress almost daily. I had more dresses hanging in my closet then dress shirts! Of course I have never come out as a crossdresser nor have I ever gone out in public dressed, but crossdressing is a part of me nonetheless. Then I moved in with my girlfriend (who I eventually married) and daughter. I basically got rid of the majority of my wardrobe and hid the rest somewhere where my wife will never find it.
I've tried to tell my wife, I suggested dressing for Halloween, I've left items hidden in plane sight (basically trying to get caught), but she just refuses to acknowledge it and is not supportive of it in any way. Thankfully, she has not told anyone else (as far as I know).
Now, I just keep a few items hidden close by so I can at least partially dress from time to time (sometimes I get up early and partially dress while she is still sleeping), and the times I can fully dress for more than an hour are few and far between, so I try to make full use of those times. I do miss spending a whole day in a dress and high healed shoes if I wanted to, but this is now the best that I have.
Cross dressing is a part of who I am and there is nothing that will change that.
I guess my point is, embrace that part of you, but do it descretely when you can.
