What are youth shelter like?

[perrystephens]

I just want to know for possible future reference. I'm not in any immediate danger of being homeless. Like do they grill you about where your parents live or try to contact them? I'm 17, if that makes a difference. I guess that means I should also ask about regular shelters too. I have $200 saved up and maybe I'll get a little more around xmas time (like maybe $30 altogether). Should I get a bank account so that my money's safe or? What do i do about that? It's not much but it would suck if it was stolen. How much should I keep on me for food and stuff (or do they provide that at shelters)? I'm completely lost for what to do. I live in oklahoma city by the way if shelters are different in different areas.I know people are going to say homelessness is a last resort and im aware of that but i feel like personally I really need to be prepared for a ton of reasons. You don't have to read the rest of this post to answer the question. It's just an explanation of why i think this info might be important.

1) my parents are transphobic. I know because i've tried talking to my mom about trans issues and she acts like we're crazy and just starts talking about how wrong she thinks trans-ness is. (Haven't even tried with my dad, he's pretty homophobic) 2) My relationship with my parents is starting to get bad  anyway for a lot of other reasons. (My self harm, my mom's drinking, etc., etc.) 3) My 18 yr old cousin gets in fights with his mom sometimes (never physical) and my mom has told her he's old enough to be kicked out so does that mean i am? 4) This same cousin jokingly insults me a lot, but in the last few months, I think he's figured something out about me bc he called me a "hermaphrodite" once (I know, not PC. He's the type of idiot who uses "gay" as an insult. I'm sorry i'm even related), anyway, he's also said I look like jeff hardy and maybe im paranoid but i think he knows and he's the type who might tell someone.

Altogether I just think it's really a possibility i should be prepared for just in case especially since it's holiday season. I know I asked a similar question a couple weeks ago, but most people either said homelessness was a last resort or said they'd need to know what city i was in to help figure out where to go. I googled it but could only find "youth services" places. Is that the same thing? In the case that this does happen, is there anthing I should pack besides a change of clothes and my money? Really any advice would be awesome.

[traci_k]

If you get kicked out that one possibility you'll need to handle, but leaving home on your own and becoming homeless is another issue altogether. Trust me, you're not going to live too long on $200. What kind of education do you have? Do you have a job? You mention self-harm, that might mean seeing a therapist, any chances your parents would get you to one for that issue, then you might be able to bring up the gender questioning. Unless your in some real physical danger at home, you're best off not to leave. In the meantime, from what you're going through at home isn't half as bad as living on the streets without a job or any income. What do you plan to do in the future to earn a living for yourself? Do you think you might need to transition? That's going to take a lot more money you'll need to save up.

As I said, unless you're in physical danger at home, slow down, see if there's some way of seeing a therapist who can help you with the more basic issues, make a plan for your life. Chances are you've got a good 50-60 years ahead of you and you and going to have to start taking care of you.

Sorry, if this comes off seeming a little harsh, but it's nothing like living on the streets.

Wishing you the best.

[SunKat]

As far as what to expect at a shelter...  what they offer, who they serve and what they expect from you are going to differ depending on what organization is sponsoring the shelter.

What long term shelters are all going to have in common is that they are meant to be temporary support while you get yourself together.  You'll be expected to stay clean, find a job and look for housing.  Many shelters will have programs available to help you in all three areas.

But you don't have to wait until you need a shelter to get help.  There are a lot of youth services out there that can provide support to keep you from needing a shelter in the first place. 

If you are worried about being thrown out then there are a few concrete things you should be doing...
     Get a checking account.  (Most businesses these days prefer to use direct deposit.)
     Learn how to budget your money.  (Figure out how much you currently spend and how much you need to get by on your own.)
     Learn how to write a professional resume.  Line up folks who are willing to be references.
     Find a job.  Even if its part time, having a good employment history makes you more employable. 
     Save your money for eventually moving out.  Even if you aren't kicked out, you will want to eventually be on your own.
     Make sure you have transportation, even if it's just a monthly bus pass. 
     Learn how to Cook for yourself.  Fast food and frozen meals get expensive. 
     Learn how to take care of your own needs... Laundry, sewing, car maintenance,  anything that mom and dad currently do for you.

I know this can seem daunting and insurmountable, but leaving home is something everyone eventually has to come to terms with.  The shelters will still be an option if you need them... but do your best not to need them.
 
     

[perrystephens]

I forgot to mention i am looking for a job. I've filled out 2 applications. And i can do my own laundry and cooking and know what foods will last long for cheap since we're living off food stamps as it is. Thanks for the other advice. Also, like I mentioned before, I may not ever need this information. I just want to be prepared in case I do.