Setback...ugh

[AbeLane]

So about a week or so ago, I finally got up the courage to e-mail a few therapist in my area to see if any of them had experience working with people who wanted to transition. Because I don't have a car and I depend on the public bus to get me around town I was really excited when I found a place I could take the bus too. This meant I wouldn't have to depend on my friends to get me a ride or whatever. The guy I e-mailed with sounded perfect, had all the right answers and everything.

So today I finally get up the courage to call and schedule my first appointment and I suddenly decide maybe I should double check that they take my insurance. And they don't. UGH!

Though I had asked the doctor I misunderstood/misheard the first time (probably because I was just to excited). Re-reading the e-mail he had said he thought they did, but wasn't in charge of that part of the office so wasn't 100% sure.

So now I feel like I'm back at square one. And it sucks because none of the other people I could get to on my bus deal with this issue (one person didn't even get back in touch with me). I've been to down to even look much more today. It sucks because I was really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, getting excited about finally starting this process and suddenly it all seems gone.

[Ms Grace]

Sorry to hear that, hope you can find someone else nearby who can help.

Gotta say I really don't understand the insurance system in the US!

[Beth Andrea]

Sorry to hear that, hope you can find someone else nearby who can help.

Gotta say I really don't understand the insurance system in the US!

There's a system?

[King Malachite]

Sorry to hear about that Abe (awesome name btw!).  Maybe you can find an online therapist that accepts insurance?

[Brenda E]

Not good news.  I take it you can't go out of network under your current insurance, or submit receipts for reimbursement?

Did you ask the office how much it would cost to self pay?  Some do offer far cheaper rates for clients who are (1) low income, and (2) paying out of pocket.

Hope you find someone, regardless.  Therapy works wonders.

[Mariah]

Before giving up on them you really should ask them what their rates are and if they are able to do anything to accommodate some one on a limited income and has to pay out of pocket. Secondly, Brenda asked the question I would have and that is does your insurance have out of network coverage. Both of my therapists are out of network, but my insurance will still cover it. Good Luck
Mariah

[genderirrelevant]

Look into the options of biking part way to any suitable therapist who does take insurance.
e.g. If your city has bike racks on buses then you could take a bus that gets relatively close and then bike the last few kms.
This may not be possible in your area but many people overlook workable solutions just because they didn't realize it was possible (e.g. I could have gotten top surgery years ago when I had the money but didn't realize anyone would do it for someone who wasn't going to be male.)

Biking is a form of therapy in its own right. 

Good luck!

[AbeLane]

Thanks everyone for the support and advice. I'm trying to pull myself out of my funk today and see what I can do about this. The thing is I get a lot of anxiety about phone calls/talking to new people, so it's hard for me to make that step to call back and ask more questions. I can do it, I just have to work up to it and/or wait for a good day.

I have been looking into the idea of on-line therapy. I think this might be a way to go for me if I can find someone who is willing to work with my insurance. Or wait until the summer when I'll have more income to work with.

As for the biking advice - I was looking into biking as a form of therapy/exercise. But some stuff came up and my bike fund turned into paying for bills.

There's also the option of asking my close friend for a ride (she's done this before when I needed to visit a doctor the bus couldn't get me to). The only thing is I hate to be dependent on her, even though I know she'd be cool with it. I just don't want to be a burden, ya know?

But yeah...things to think about.

Sorry to hear about that Abe (awesome name btw!). 

Thanks! Still debating on if it's short for Abraham or Abram, but I'm definitely Abe.

[genderirrelevant]

As for the biking advice - I was looking into biking as a form of therapy/exercise. But some stuff came up and my bike fund turned into paying for bills.

Yeah, I wanted to get back to rowing but I keep pilfering that fund for more urgent costs. 

[AbeLane]

Just a quick update. I had found an on-line therapist that I was really excited about. He said he accepted my insurance then after talking to his billing people, found out he really didn't. UGH! I'm getting so frustrated by this. The thing is my insurance goes by two different names so I guess that's what's leading to all of this confusion. Still it really sucks that people keep telling me they'll be able to help me and I get all excited and think FINALLY!...and then the carpet gets ripped out from under me again.

I think I'm just going to have to wait until the summer. I was really hoping to start my therapy now...well actually I wanted to start it in January, thinking that then I would be able to start T in the summer. And now everything just keeps getting pushed back further and further and AH!!!! Freakin sucks!

[Tysilio]

There's also the option of asking my close friend for a ride (she's done this before when I needed to visit a doctor the bus couldn't get me to). The only thing is I hate to be dependent on her, even though I know she'd be cool with it. I just don't want to be a burden, ya know?

Please don't rule this out. If you're close, she probably knows how important this is to you, and I'd bet that she'd like to help. I completely get the "don't want to be a burden/be dependent" thing, but here's the deal: it has taken me many years to learn this, but people want to help. Asking for help is often a gift you can give them: it's a way they can put their caring for you into action, and they feel good about that.

And, of course, there are always things you can do for them. I won't say "in return," because I don't believe that friends should keep score, but being there for each other is just what friends do.

[AbeLane]

Heard back from yet ANOTHER therapist who can't help me.

I did talk to my friend today (the one who may give me rides if needed) and she told me to stay positive. So at least she's on my side.

But yeah, I'm thinking I'll just have to hold on to summer because it looks like there isn't any therapist who is in my area or who will take my insurance. Ugh.

I might try to send out some more e-mails to people I would need a ride to later this week when I'm not feeling so hopeless about the situation.

[Mariah]

Still please keep trying. Nothing wrong with needing a ride to get to the therapy you need. Good Luck Hugs
Mariah

Heard back from yet ANOTHER therapist who can't help me.

I did talk to my friend today (the one who may give me rides if needed) and she told me to stay positive. So at least she's on my side.

But yeah, I'm thinking I'll just have to hold on to summer because it looks like there isn't any therapist who is in my area or who will take my insurance. Ugh.

I might try to send out some more e-mails to people I would need a ride to later this week when I'm not feeling so hopeless about the situation.