Quote from: acbonnett on March 16, 2015, 11:19:16 PM
I know I asked for help but this is really going to sound condinsending.
I've built a life, not on lies, but on what I feel like I was born to do. In this case it's to serve my country. Fight any threat on the front lines. This feeling I'm getting will >-bleeped-< all over that dream. But it's growing so strong and rapidly I couldn't hold it down. So I truly do not need the mamby pamby cliff malarkey. I need someone to bluntly tell me what the hell is going on and how I should approach this.
And Dee, the gay thing is right, I'll give you that. But the situation I'm in is much more complex than you think
Well to tell you bluntly that fighting and those glorious images are an old paradigm.
In this kind of setting there has to be a winner and a loser. And there has to be someone who is somehow "right", telling where to go.
Sorry but thats not democratic. A new paradigm is to talk civilised about differences and handle that without violence.
Violent solutions are less and less acceptable.
And it takes more strenght to convince an opponent than to get violent.
Well, there is a website called gayteens dot about dot com where there is a quiz "am_i_trans.htm" . It might help you with a few thoughts, they state a few opinions of others, and explain a few terms. And it might help by showing you are not alone in this.
And you don't have to feel male all the time. A question would be would you prefer a more female body to be more happy ?
And you might look up a brochure for the british NHS called "doh-transgender-experiences.pdf" . Only thing I would disagree with is page 7, where they state stress, instead many experience relief.
It states that being trans has some biological connections, which is imo socially a bit better acceptable, and it might help with self acceptance.
Just remember there are many who have gone through this and reached their goals eventually
.
You could play around a bit with hair and clothing style... womens or unisex trousers, sweaters one or two sizes bigger... second hand stores could be a good source. It can be really fun.
And there are many who tried to fulfill gender roles, even overdo it, until they find its not what they are...
so I'd say just take the time you need...
You could reach out...
You might think about talking to a counselor... or a counselor at school you trust, or at a school gsa...
or you could call at the next lgbt center near you and ask for some counseling...
there might even be support groups...
you might say at home you want counseling, for emotional purposes, and pick someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list...
and if you want to talk to someone you can call one of those for example, people are there to help and give advice (there are many others):
glnh dot org/talkline/ (this is the national lgbt youth helpline)
translifeline dot org
Sometimes its dependent on the person on the line.. just keep at it and reach out...
And, well, please remember its a process... I'd say take the time you need, but keep at it...
and come here, and ask questions... alone writing often helps...
hugs
