Going off to a non-LGBT-Friendly college in the fall

[ReubenIsTheName]

So, I live in Mississippi currently.

That statement should give you a basic idea of my situation by itself.

Anyway, I plan on going to a local community college in the fall of this year (I'm a HS senior for another few weeks), and they have ZERO LGBT clubs, classes, services, etc.  If I search "LGBT" on their website...no results.  I get a free ride there after grants and ACT scholarships, then I'll transfer to Louisiana-Lafayette, which has an LGBT awareness month and support group.  I'm worried about how the misgendering and lack of support will work at the local one.  I was even told that it's a terrible school for transgender people by someone who went there.  A lot of my friends are moving away and going to other colleges.  A lot of the ones that gender me properly and use my chosen name.

I DO plan on starting to see a gender counselor as soon as I graduate.  Mother can't intervene then, and threaten to have me committed for wanting help.  I've talked to him and he seems nice, uses proper pronouns and my chosen name.  Hopefully I can start my transition this summer, if funds agree with my intentions.

Any advice for me?  Should I try and start my own LGBT student organization?

I'm nervous about all this.  I've been having anxiety attacks. :/

[adrian]

Hey Reuben,

This sounds tough, but I think you're approaching things the right way by making a plan for the scenario that will await you.

Is there any other local LGBT group (not necessarily at the college directly, but in the vicinity) you could get in touch with and that could provide (emotional, legal) support in case things get you at the college?

Starting your own group is a great idea in my opinion, but before you do this it will be good to see how things actually are there and how many allies you can find.

Have you searched their website for something more general like "gender". Maybe you can identify any instructors (e.g. by their publications, syllabi) who appear to have at least awareness of the subject and look like it would be worth approaching or contacting them -- once you are there or anonymously ahead of getting there. 

Sorry, these aren't really brilliant ideas. I hope things work out for you!

[ReubenIsTheName]

Hey Reuben,

This sounds tough, but I think you're approaching things the right way by making a plan for the scenario that will await you.

Is there any other local LGBT group (not necessarily at the college directly, but in the vicinity) you could get in touch with and that could provide (emotional, legal) support in case things get you at the college?

Starting your own group is a great idea in my opinion, but before you do this it will be good to see how things actually are there and how many allies you can find.

Have you searched their website for something more general like "gender". Maybe you can identify any instructors (e.g. by their publications, syllabi) who appear to have at least awareness of the subject and look like it would be worth approaching or contacting them -- once you are there or anonymously ahead of getting there. 

Sorry, these aren't really brilliant ideas. I hope things work out for you!

There is a Facebook group, but nothing else, really.  I'll check out the page, though!

I will have to get a feel of the place and see if anyone else would be interested in being in such a group if I were to start one.

I searched "gender" and the only result was a disclaimer for Equal Opportunity Employment.  So much for that.  Maker, I hate Mississippi.

Thanks for replying, Adrian! (Also, I've changed my chosen name from Reuben Gabriel to Damian Tobias. Damian or Toby is preferred. ^.^)

[adrian]

Damian, sorry about the name. I use Susan's on tapatalk and it doesn't display signatures, so I sometimes miss stuff like that.

Hopefully the Facebook group is a start. I absolutely agree with the need to get a feel for the place before you decide whether to start a group or something along those lines.

I'm in Europe, but I'm always impressed with the work of the SPLC (Southern Poverty Law Center). If you are discriminated against, I hope you can find a way of fighting back!

[FTMax]

How much does it cost to have your name changed where you live? Personally, I'd make that a priority if I lived in the real south (I'm in northern VA...it's the south but not). Professors usually just get a list of people in the course. I can ask my parents (both teachers), but I don't think they get any kind of gender information. If you can swing it financially, I personally think that would make me more comfortable than anything else.

As far as camaraderie and starting a group...if it were me, I wouldn't bother. I'd do some searching online for local resources, but I don't think I'd stick my neck out and try to start a group. Especially since you're just aiming to transfer. Is the school you're going to transfer to close? You could always attend their meetings if it is. We had quite a few people from the local community college come to our meetings when I was in my undergrad program, and no one minded.

[mm]

Reuben, I am ftm, transitioned in college.  I give you credit for wanting to start a group at the community college; it maybe a hard uphill battle if you have no support in the area. Maybe going to LA would be better and easier for you.

[ReubenIsTheName]

How much does it cost to have your name changed where you live? Personally, I'd make that a priority if I lived in the real south (I'm in northern VA...it's the south but not). Professors usually just get a list of people in the course. I can ask my parents (both teachers), but I don't think they get any kind of gender information. If you can swing it financially, I personally think that would make me more comfortable than anything else.

As far as camaraderie and starting a group...if it were me, I wouldn't bother. I'd do some searching online for local resources, but I don't think I'd stick my neck out and try to start a group. Especially since you're just aiming to transfer. Is the school you're going to transfer to close? You could always attend their meetings if it is. We had quite a few people from the local community college come to our meetings when I was in my undergrad program, and no one minded.

A name change would certainly be a good option! My mom recently went through a divorce and had hers changed relatively quickly.  I can't remember the cost, but it wasn't too bad!

Yeah, I can see that and relate, but if it would help others after I transferred, that'd be awesome.  Louisiana-Lafayette is a good 10 hours away from this local one, so that's not really an option. Haha.

[ReubenIsTheName]

Maybe going to LA would be better and easier for you.

It would be both of those things as far as emotionally.  Financially, I'd have to take out loans and all that, rather than two years getting pre-reqs for free.  And I'd rather be saving that money for transition and transfer, ya know?  I really hate Mississippi, and would LOVE to be back home in Louisiana, but it's not financially sound as much as this college is.  It really breaks my heart, but life is like that a lot.