Now that I've gotten this far, how do I take it to the next step?

[CaptFido87]

Hi folks,

So like a few of you have seen in another post from me, I went out on sat for the first time dressed as a woman. It was fun. I met some great people and had a blast. It really assured me that I'm finally taking the right path for me. I'm fairly certain now that becoming a woman is what I've needed for a while. Now like the title says how do I take things to the next level or step.

Logically I know that I need to start doing therapy. I'm still very early in the process and have a lot I need to figure out though. I've been losing weight (Close to 20 lbs!) and have been trying to act more femininely now. I still feel like I'm wandering around lost looking for a clue. A friend who's 6 weeks in was telling me what she's done to move on. she told me that she's already has frozen some sperm and is taking hrt without actually having been to therapy. I guess in Chicago there's a few places that will let you begin hrt with a therapists recommendation or the need for it. That's cool but is way too early for me.

I know people on here have told me I need to come out to people and start moving forward towards the goal. I feel like that would be rushing things at the moment and I'm actually a little afraid on some of that. See I have some plans that I wanted to take care of before I started all of this. When I first came up with this plan on December 31st, My first plan of action was to lose some weight. I started at almost 260 lbs and my goal is to get down to 200 lbs roughly. My game plan is to lose 1 pound a week. Seeing that there's 52 weeks in a year, it's fairly do-able and is working quite well so far only just over 3 months in. Also I've got myself into some debt that needs taking care of first people I go about my business. Once I've gotten myself out of the hole and can afford for therapy, than I'll start that.

I do really need to improve my wardrobe as my current attire is 95% male related. Also going out my first time dressed up showed that woman my age are totally dressing way better (and way different) than me. So I guess that's a good place to start maybe. I'm also still learning make up and my voice needs a complete 180 too.

So that's where I am right now. A few friends know about me and are ok about it. I simply don't really know where  or what to do get to the next level or step. I really could use some advice on the next step.

[Beverly]

I simply don't really know where  or what to do get to the next level or step. I really could use some advice on the next step.

Just take your time and it will work itself out. If you want to take simple steps that will progress you towards transition then I would say "Start with beard clearance".

From your picture you have pale skin and dark hair which means that laser hair removal (LHR) will work well for you. It takes a few years for beard removal to be effective so the sooner you start the better. Typically, sessions are 6 to 8 weeks apart and you should expect a minimum of 6 sessions before you will know how effective (or otherwise) it has been.

Even if you change your mind and decide not to transition, all  LHR will do is lighten your complexion for a while. Without anti-androgens it is likely that some of the beard will come back after 3 or 4 years (I know crossdressers who suffer from this problem - their normal T levels seems to promote further growth)

With LHR you can continue exploring your path and live as you are now for a while longer, yet in the medium term - 1 to 2 years - it will really help you.

[Mariah]

Move at the pace you feel comfortable with. Next logical step would be therapy and if HRT is a goal then HRT. Also hair removal if you haven't started yet you need to get a move on with. I should have started sooner than I did, but it takes a long while regardless of it being laser or eletro. Since your not full time yet it's logical to get it taken care of now while your still in male mode most of the time. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[Laura_7]

You could have a look at second hand stores for clothing... it can be fun, and that way you could get one or two pieces more...

for voice you could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184812.msg1643045.html#msg1643045

you might grow your hair out... wearing it in a ponytail in guy mode...

you might have your eyebrows trimmed... just a bit if you want to go slow...
you might look up tutorials, or ask someone to shape them a bit in a female form and trim them a bit...
taking it really slow if doing it yourself, and looking at the results...

hugs

[Rachel]

You could consider group.

Also if you are near a university they may offer therapy at a reduced price but it may be part of a class ( several students observing).

Get involved with our community in a local setting. I volunteered to work a trans conference for the youth section.

I joined a Pride group at work and attend parades and events with them. We did a toy drive for homeless kids in December, a book drive, a coat drive and school supply drive. They are a great group of people and we do a lot of good work for kids.

[CaptFido87]

Thank you for all of the cool advice. I had completely forgotten about hair removal. Yes I'm hairy like a were wolf so this is definitely a great place to go next. I know there's an electrology place near my house. Is that similar to laser or are they completely different? Getting caught up on my bills should hopefully only take me a month or two now that I'm working full time.

As for the thrift store shopping, I am a little worried. I used to work in one and know about how they work, but for me to just go shopping for woman's clothing is kind of seen poorly. I really do want to go to some and get some cute stuff for cheap but I don't want to be hassled about it. I know it'll save me money but it scares me to do it. so I buy my clothing online at the moment.

As for the group stuff, I know this event I went to in Chicago has a few through out the month and the people within it have separate house parties too. So I'll do my best to go to those.

I've been growing my hair out too, but it honestly looks ridiculous at the moment. I have a thinning hairline on top and the sides. So when I brush it, the top somehow fluffs up. I don't know how to make it look better. I've been shampooing and putting in conditioner. I use cold water with those. I know about biotin and will get it soon. I try to comb it like a woman's hair but it doesn't apparently like to do that. It gets very greasy fast and doesn't hold it's form well. My mom's a barber and she's noticed its different and I want to let her know but don't how to go about that yet. I heard E does help hair a little bit, but idk if it'll help out hair like mine. It's towards the top of my panic list and I don't like it.

any other advice is welcomed. Can I just grow boobs and become a woman instantly please?

[Mariah]

They are different. Electro hits each hair separately and doesn't care about skin color or hair color. Laser is you need to be white and have dark hair for it to be most affective. Both are expensive, but if you can start with laser first you will save money in the long run. I wouldn't worry to much about what others think. This is where the thick skin comes in again. I can understand starting with online first as it is what your comfortable with and that's great. Go with what your comfortable with because ultimately that is the most important. A others have said a group will be in many ways a big help to you both in the long and short run. Good luck and hugs.
Mariah

Thank you for all of the cool advice. I had completely forgotten about hair removal. Yes I'm hairy like a were wolf so this is definitely a great place to go next. I know there's an electrology place near my house. Is that similar to laser or are they completely different? Getting caught up on my bills should hopefully only take me a month or two now that I'm working full time.

As for the thrift store shopping, I am a little worried. I used to work in one and know about how they work, but for me to just go shopping for woman's clothing is kind of seen poorly. I really do want to go to some and get some cute stuff for cheap but I don't want to be hassled about it. I know it'll save me money but it scares me to do it. so I buy my clothing online at the moment.

As for the group stuff, I know this event I went to in Chicago has a few through out the month and the people within it have separate house parties too. So I'll do my best to go to those.

I've been growing my hair out too, but it honestly looks ridiculous at the moment. I have a thinning hairline on top and the sides. So when I brush it, the top somehow fluffs up. I don't know how to make it look better. I've been shampooing and putting in conditioner. I use cold water with those. I know about biotin and will get it soon. I try to comb it like a woman's hair but it doesn't apparently like to do that. It gets very greasy fast and doesn't hold it's form well. My mom's a barber and she's noticed its different and I want to let her know but don't how to go about that yet. I heard E does help hair a little bit, but idk if it'll help out hair like mine. It's towards the top of my panic list and I don't like it.

any other advice is welcomed. Can I just grow boobs and become a woman instantly please?

[ImagineKate]

Laser isn't just for light skin anymore. I have dark skin. That's what the Nd:YAG is for and it's been pretty effective on me. It's a near IR laser that goes deep and hot.