bald and not so beautiful, anxiety and pain from hair loss, how do you cope?

[meganmichelle]

I lost my hair pretty young and this has always been a horrible scar and pain and source of anxiety and sadness for me. And now that I'm trying to come out, the pain, anxiety and sadness is returning.

I am not whole, hair has always been a huge part of my identity.

so.... what are my options for wigs? can I wear wigs most of the time? will wearing them just amplify my anxiety and pain when I have to take them off?

I feel there is no future for me.  Anyone else dealing with this challenge? how do you cope?

[noeleena]

Hi,

And I have no hair and not bothered by that fact im a female at over 67 and will ...only wear one of my wigs for one group im a member of we are Edwardians and dress in 1900 to 1914 times  im a committee member  well known and others all know ,
other groups im a member of and all up membership of over 1500 people and they all know me amd im in the front line and A PR person and very involved with people and incharge of different aspects of what we do ,

As a Brass Band member we do concerts so in front of many 100,s of people and on Parade in uniform ,

Now if im not uniformed with my head wear I will wear a 1920 to 30.s headwear in white and quite close fitting not unlike a turban or scarves wrapped around like a turban ,and I have made many more just a little different in style and colour,
Have a look at what some of us wear with cancer and after ,   after chemo,

Okay as a female I know what its like not having my hair  yet that does not distract from who I am as a normal  woman  and why should it , I have a life and I live it to the full  , so,    no hair  tough I can live  with out that , and just think no washing no drying and no bad hair days ,  hey I have it made ,

I did wear my wig for 11 years and got headaches  so said to Jos iv had enough no more that's it over ,  then we said now what to do , so I looked about and thought  skinhead .  well yes  just not quite the look for a woman , okay head covering or hats , nope....... scarves warped around so I styled them and went with that and still do , and just think all those lovely colours and lovely comments . hope this helps .

...noeleena...

[Mariah]

Your options in regards to wigs will depend on the size and shape of your face along with what style you would be comfortable with. Wigs can certainly be worn comfortably most of the time. Using a wig doesn't increase my pain or anxiety, but actually decreases it because I'm not seeing the spot on my head where it is still filling in with hair. Your future is much brighter than you can imagine. A therapist can also help you come to terms with this because for some this isn't an easy issue to overcome. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

[katrinaw]

Hi Megan, I had terminal MPB before I was twenty five..  But buying the right wigs can work really well.. I have a few, but they are of different styles, but the colors I have are shades of ....

I can't live without my wigs, despite with the addition of Finasteride last year to my HRT the gradual "fill in" is improving slightly, but I think I'm resigned to wig wearing!

Personally I use Lace Fronted Human Hair... but they are not cheap, they last a few years to with care, they can be slept in too, well I do often, which works as long as you are not a mammoth fidgeter in bed! I Look for the lightest weight ones, with plenty of air flow... Mesh webbing is good, but sometimes, if you use a comb, you can catch the webbing, there are many types of crown material... check out "wig" sites... there are many, many of them with all types to suit all budgets.

Good luck 

L Katy

[meganmichelle]

Great shares, thank you.

It gives me hope and I LUVV the idea of not only wearing beautiful wigs but beautiful head scarfs. I hadn't thought about that, then you all mentioned it and I went and googled it. To my surprise, I was happy seeing all the pretty designs and colors they come in these days . Living in the N.W. its cold here..so head covering is always a must. as dressed male, I'm always wearing a nice hat of some kind. I don't know why I didn't consider female head coverings...

but its a long road, first I have to figure out what I and my spouse are doing... whether we can do this, whether I can come out and she can accept. Right now we are dancing around the issue. it comes out, put to rest, comes out, put to rest.

[Lady Smith]

Hi meganmichelle   I also wanted to point out the joys of wearing nice scarves.  I'm not bald, but I wear head coverings of one sort or another for religious reasons.  It's more than possible to look nicely dressed and groomed without having to display one's hair or the lack of it so go wild and experiment to your hearts content.

[JLT1]

Hi,

There are some nice wigs out there.   Try getting three of the same color and similar length but different styles.  Alternate as the mood or activity changes. 

If you are lucky,  there will be some hair regrowth.   Mine is almost ready for no wig and I was almost totally bald.

Hugs

Jen