Hi everyone, my name is Strange. At least it's my pen name I've grown very fond of over the years. I may legally add it to my name one because of fun times I've had with it. I'm male, at least currently and overall I'm on the overwhelmed side of things.
Basically I'm 24 and for some time now, probably a decade's worth of time I've always been deeply interested in being a woman. It's not a new experience for me, this desire but with how life has changed drastically over the years, it's becoming an increasingly more reoccurring thought. I love my dad and my family a lot but it's still the same old man who kicked out of the house because I shaved my legs, thinking that I was gay. I do love him but he never really let me explore myself and figure out what I want in life. Naturally when I lived with them, I kept myself pretty shut and wound tight.
For the past 6 years I've been out on my own but a year ago I moved away to another city entirely, where the presence of my family wasn't felt and I left with great friends. We're a family down here and it's been nothing but wonderful, even during the hard times. All this freedom has led to a lot of self discoveries and again and again I've impressed myself with my own growth as a person. Recently however, a friend of mine out of a joke suggested I should crossplay a character from a favorite series. Surprisingly to her, I leap on the opportunity to do so, going as far as train myself every day in working on my behaviorism, cleaning myself up, and even to learn to walk like a lady and exercise (Shed a whole 1 inch and a half off my waist already!). It's brought about a tremendous amount of respect that I already have for the every day woman and despite all the work that goes on in a single day, I'm finding myself more drawn to it.
So I'm spending this next year to prepare for a single roll to happen on a single day. While I'm hoping I can satisfy myself with my appearance and voice to try something earlier than that, I was thinking about judging what happens throughout this year and the event itself to decide if I'm willing to take a more drastic action.
To be clear on a few things, it's not like my idea of being a woman revolves around some idea that I'll be pretty all the time and I'll get a chance to wear cute dresses, though I'd consider it a perk if it worked out that way. I mean, I'll still be me no matter what happens but I'll finally like what's in the mirror enough to have the drive to maintain it. It does scare me something fierce though. As a small example I know I'll lose family over it, for sure. Granted most of the family I'll lose will be the members I wasn't too fond of to begin with. I know my mom will love me without even asking her and my closest friends will support me. I'm in a new city with a new start and I want to begin a new life. Apart from losing family, I know its a very long road ahead of me and a very expensive one at that. I'm deeply scared of that bill and I've no idea how to tackle a lot of the problems to get to that point where I'll be happy with my body. I'm glad I found this site to help find some of these answers and I'm glad to be among incredible people who already made their own journeys.
I hope this was satisfying enough of an introduction. Fingers crossed and wish me luck for this year.
