I've seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's
like a settin' sun.
-Neil Young
My name is Allison and I am an addict.
Today I celebrate one year of freedom from drugs and alcohol. I am in a very different place now than I was then, both figuratively and literally. That first night I laid there restrained to a bed in the Emergency Department of Kaiser Hospital in Roseville, CA after a suicide attempt earlier in the day. I was moved a to a psychiatric hospital then a half-way house before I was released twelve days later under the condition that I begin attending 12 Step meetings. Thus began my path to recovery. It has not been easy by any means, I have spent many nights wishing for just one drink, or just one pill. But somehow I am here, I am alive and I am clean.
The last year has been the most difficult of my life, dealing the early stages of my transition, with unemployment, homelessness, and a move clear across the country in the early days of my recovery. I spent six months bouncing around between friends houses, motels, and the streets before I found a job, and eventually an apartment of my own. I am not cured, I can never drink or use any of the many other substances that I used to use to escape reality even again.The temptation has never gone away, what has changed is my reaction to that temptation. Recovery isn't easy, all I can do is try my hardest to stay clean.
Just For Today.
