This is something I wrote the last time I seriously approached feeling suicidal. Perhaps not well edited because shortly after I finished it the mood passed and I couldn't stare back into that abyss. The mood is coming upon me again, I fear. Read no further if you might be triggered.
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Matter/Antimatter
Real Fake
Truth Lie
Male Female
Nature Nurture
Each to itself is the only truth
Two sides, one coin?
Two coins... of no real value, like tokens in an arcade?
Representation. Or Reality?
Two sides of me
in ways the common herd struggle to understand and fail
or don't even try, dismissing me as irrelevant, broken
"explaining" with their myths of gods and science
No true illumination
Two sides of me
Slowly drawn together
or violently impacted
By myself?
By others?
in either case not willingly.
forced to fit.
Mutual annihilation.
Such heat and light!
Illuminating the steps of those behind.
Illuminating the view of those on the sidelines, watching in horror or rapture...
or both.
The heat
The light
They quickly fade
Does anything remain?
If not...
Who sits weeping in the darkness?
