Am I a pervert?

[Devlyn ✅]

Crossdressers are absolutely transgender. Any assertions otherwise are false, and would violate the policies and spirit of this site.

Hugs, Devlyn

That's exactly true. In fact for many of us, being a crossdresser is a stage before realizing one is actually a transsexual. So in my case I went from transgender-crossdresser to transgender-transsexual. Not all of us do it but IMHO there is always the potential to get there, when one is a crossdresser in the first place.

Absolutey, I've settled in at crossdresser/non-binary, but if my train decides to head to Transsexualville, I'm certainly going for the ride! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[HoneyStrums]

Just because someone doesn't fit the traditional narrative (always knew they were female, feels like a woman in  man's body, extreme dysphoria, etc.) doesn't mean they are not trans, right?

This I agree with completelly.
I did even as I realised the possibly exclusianery wording or my post state.

Just because I didnt think they were trans. It doesnt mean the're not. (I have edited my prior post in hopes to make this stand out more)

Its just, I have to be open to the possibilty that, not everybody who comes here will be trans, and further more that, having a lot of things in their background close to me doesnt mean they are either.

I pointed out, those phrases In an attempt to help a person I thought was having trouble validating the're masculinity to themselves due to possesing a variety of seemingly none conforming behaviours.

I realise my mistake,
I posted an opinion, not advise.
But I was still trying to help sombody, under the posibility they might not be trans.
I just didnt want to take it for granted that just because they are curently questioning and on susans, thet they are somthing they might not be.

Sorry for any upset, I have caused anyone.

[Sinessi]

I admit that I'm more confused than when I came here .

None of this is simple, is it? 

I spent a ton of thought on my initial post.  I only mentioned I was male with the simple purpose of making my current sex apparent.  I originally hadn't included a name when I made the post, but I added "David" (which isn't my real name) just to give people something to refer to me by.  I considered using a female name instead, but I figured that would only complicate things.

I wasn't lying when I said I don't hate being male, but I can't say I've ever enjoyed being one either.  I was born male and being male is all I know.  However, I constantly wish that I would wake up as a girl one day.  Whenever my mom tells me that the doctor said I was supposed to have been born a girl, I find myself wishing that had actually been the case.

But would I actually be happy if that happened?  I don't know.  I like to think I would.

Ultimately, my identity is something I'll have to put a lot more thought into.  You guys have convinced me that I need to talk to a therapist or receive some kind of counselling.  At the very least I know I'll talk to my mom about it.

Thanks for all of your help!  Cheers.

[HoneyStrums]

Sorry if I helped add to your confusion. which I think I did.

I suppos after seeing your story was soo similar to mine, I made the mistake of offering you what I thought you wanted to hear instead, of what you needed to hear.

I regrett that. I hoped so much that I wasnt trans, that if i think for a moment its likely sombody isnt, that hope they arnt takes over, And Ill do anything I can to point out they might not be. when the truth is, might not be, still means might be.

As easey as I have it, I still wouldnt wish it on anybody.

[Laura_7]

Sorry if I helped add to your confusion. which I think I did.

I suppos after seeing your story was soo similar to mine, I made the mistake of offering you what I thought you wanted to hear instead, of what you needed to hear.

I regrett that. I hoped so much that I wasnt trans, that if i think for a moment its likely sombody isnt, that hope they arnt takes over, And Ill do anything I can to point out they might not be. when the truth is, might not be, still means might be.

As easey as I have it, I still wouldnt wish it on anybody.

Well at least you provided a point of reference.. an opinion... from where out its possible to have further thoughts and compare if it fits or not...

hugs

[Hannah Samira]

I admit that I'm more confused than when I came here .

None of this is simple, is it? 

I spent a ton of thought on my initial post.  I only mentioned I was male with the simple purpose of making my current sex apparent.  I originally hadn't included a name when I made the post, but I added "David" (which isn't my real name) just to give people something to refer to me by.  I considered using a female name instead, but I figured that would only complicate things.

I wasn't lying when I said I don't hate being male, but I can't say I've ever enjoyed being one either.  I was born male and being male is all I know.  However, I constantly wish that I would wake up as a girl one day.  Whenever my mom tells me that the doctor said I was supposed to have been born a girl, I find myself wishing that had actually been the case.

But would I actually be happy if that happened?  I don't know.  I like to think I would.

Ultimately, my identity is something I'll have to put a lot more thought into.  You guys have convinced me that I need to talk to a therapist or receive some kind of counselling.  At the very least I know I'll talk to my mom about it.

Thanks for all of your help!  Cheers.

Hiya!! First of all welcome to Susan's!!

Now, both this and your initial post I can heavily relate to. I have never had any issues with being male - it definitely has it's perks and is sometimes quite nice!! The issue is that I wish I was a woman, not because I'm unhappy as a male - I'd be happy as either male or female - but because I don't know if I'd be even happier as a female!!

Basically, I definitely recommend you see a therapist (as I will do after the summer) because they should help you come to the realisation of who you are and who you want to be!! As I'm still pre-everything (and still questioning) though, there's not really much more advice I can give!!

Anyway, I recommend browsing the forum and talking to others about your feelings; I found the more I talked to others on here, the better I could put my feelings across!! Also feel free to PM me when you get enough posts!!

P.S: For what it's worth, I don't think this makes you a pervert at all!!

xxx

[steyraug96]

(Edited to a much shorter form)

I'm an 18 year old male who is pretty confused and has a couple of questions.

Since a very young age I have some pretty weird interests.  I remember loving to wear my grandma's pantyhose, loving it when girls would try to "dress me up" as part of games, and to this day I've been a massive fan of fantasy stories about male-to-female transformations.  Whenever I play a video game I choose a female character, and I would enjoy pretending to be female as well.  I would sometimes catch myself in feminine postures and there was even a point where I would watch the ways guys walked and try to replicate their movements (possible social anxiety).

I've noticed that I'm a girl in many of my dreams (maybe this is normal), and whenever I fantasize about something I usually take a female form.

That being said, I don't hate being male.  I'm not exactly a "man's man" but I'm not what you'd call feminine.  I'm attracted to girls after all.

So what does this mean exactly? Am I a pervert?  Do I have some kind of trans fetish or something? 

Or am I transgender?  I read some similar posts on this site but I still don't know.

Many thanks,  David.

Well, David, I'm probably an outlier here, but I'd <censored> well HOPE so!  World needs more "perverts"...  too many puritans. ;-)  (And I'm of a conservative bent, mind... Talk about irony!)
But also, as others noted, "pervert" is a pretty strong term - except, of course, in the legal sense, where it seems to mean, "anyone doing something I don't want them to."

It's not the days of flashers, and women getting the vapors from a rude comment...   (Let's NOT go further...  We'll get WAY OT.)

So, let's rephrase the question:
You like to feel some feminine things. You don't mind playing dress-up, basically. We could examine if it's the attention, the femininity, or the girls attention to you, all different things.

I notice, though, that you sound similar to a large portion of my life, which is sort of, "DILLIGAF?"  (Do In Look Like I Give A ...?)
I just sort of bounced through it, because I knew my parents, I knew my peers, and I knew what would happen if I was noticed. No joke, just being the "wimp" in school cost me physically. Leave it at that.

I think you might want to talk to a counselor before making a decision. I never had issues with being "me", but always wanted Me to be female. I don't hate my male parts, they're just sort of...  Irrelevant. Great to have with the right woman. But with a woman who isn't right? Might as well have a cuisinart.  :-P

I can't help with that part; your ideal partner is on you, and you might want to think in large long-term plans to help with that. Lesbian relationship? FemDom or Female-Led? Or any of a bunch of truly non-vanilla options, including polyamory, polygamy, cuckold, etc. 
And a key question in all is: Do you want your own, genetic children? If so: that's something to plan for, ASAP. If not, no worries, explore for a while.  If near a city, take a look at the club and drag scene, make connections, talk to people.
Maybe take up crossdressing on weekends or such.
Buy a few toys to experiment, maybe (but be careful on that path.)
Google the area for other "alternative" groups, maybe go to a Munch (BDSM non-scene lunch, sort of a networking thing.)

But I think if you find you're dreaming of yourself as a woman, all the way - especially the submissive partner - then a counselor is best place to start, to get more views and thoughts. And read every board you can for advice.  ;-)

Set the destination and the steps of the journey are easy. IF you'll take those steps.  And I speak from bad experience.  ;-)

[awilliams1701]

I can't tell you if you are or not. I do know that just over a year ago I was confused myself. I knew I liked women and I didn't think that made sense. I've learned this is not the case since then. Sexual orientation and gender identity aren't connected. Don't let that stop you. The real question you need to ask is are you uncomfortable with being in your body as the sex you were born into? I was never uncomfortable until puberty and it only got worse over the years. I had plenty of other indications I was trans before that.

[highlight]

You don't have to have dysphoria in order to be trans, but if you CAN live happily as a male then this is probably best.

Mod edit: no discussion of autogynophilia thanks

[Patty_M]

First off, you are not a "pervert".  That is a nasty word but you already know that.

Somewhere you said that you wouldn't know where to find a gender therapist.  There is a list of qualified people across the country at DrBecky.com/therapists.HTML  There are some excellent people on that list in every major city.  Take a look.  You might find the help you need on that list.

You are the only one who knows where you fit on the transgender spectrum.  There are a wide range of people under that umbrella.  The therapist will help you come to an understanding of just what it is that is appropriate for you.

Also, look around and see if there is a support group.  That was my first step.  It was at one of their meetings that I first met others and learned of links to helpful resources, including a therapist and an electrologist.

Whatever you do, I hope that it goes well for you.     

[Evelyn Ivy StaMaria]

I know what you mean. I can relate mostly to the female character in games tho. But other than that I have a friend that was in a similar situation too. But he turned out to be a crossdresser. Like what most of the people here have said you should or could get consultation from a professional. They would be able to help make somet stuff much more clear. Always keep an open mind about things tho. That's one of the important keys in my life.

[Laura_7]

First off, you are not a "pervert".  That is a nasty word but you already know that.

Somewhere you said that you wouldn't know where to find a gender therapist.  There is a list of qualified people across the country at DrBecky.com/therapists.HTML  There are some excellent people on that list in every major city.  Take a look.  You might find the help you need on that list.

There are more here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316

and here:
https://www.susans.org/links/Healthcare/Therapists_&_Counselors/


hugs