Sexual orientation and Hormons

[viva]

Hi I m new to transition and susans.org. I cant consult with any doctor in my small town in india. so the only source is internet and susans.org Now I have a some questions that only people like us can understand and give the perfect answers.
     I want to be on hormone but not want to loose my penis as it gives me so much pleasure and "peacemaker", I was reading all the material about hormone in here (pretty huge library). As someone mention that after HRT MTF you gain interest in men n loose in women, the posters have discussed scientific reasons that after HRT ur feminine mind need someone provider/protractor.

    My sexual Drive is very high and during masturbation I consider my self as a femm lesbian who is kissed. I day dreaming that there will be a corporate women who like to have feminine husband at home preparing for the dinner and served her, pleasure her. I become very feminine when I talk with elder women and want that they consider/accept/love me as a girl. also help and support me to be feminine. I cant imagine myself as having relationship with men. ( I hv tried to imagine but that doesnt feet me) Besides I love the aura of women that I pretty much sure that I will never love a men. in short technically I m straight male but very submissive ( I use the word "devoted" )

    after the ejaculation, I become a normal men who cant believe that How can I think to be a women but This post ejaculated man dont stays more and my feminine women cover my head. In social I like to be normal men when I am surrounded by men but When I personally interact  with woman I become so much feminine. there are some quotes that I love to tattoo so that defines me when I m social. "I love women not men", "he must call me he while she can call me she" " I am male lesbian trapped in wrong body" , " I am not gay but lesbian indeed". (I tried to define myself if u want to have any question u can ask me.)  So here I need ur help.

    1. So who am I, a genderfluid, androgyny, transgender, non-binary?
    2. Do I have dual personality?
    3. Will my sexual orientation (toward men) change after HRT?
    4. Can I get a soulmate who wants someone like me?
    5. Can I save my sperm and have my own child ? (except sperm bank)
    6. can a very low dose of estrogen help me?
    7. Any other advice?

Genuinely Thank you in Advance..


     

[katrinaw]

Big warm welcome to Susan's Viva

A bit of housekeeping to review to help you round the site

Things that you should read

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I'll have to read you post a little more to answer

In the meantime look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy 

Edit:
1. So who am I, a genderfluid, androgyny, transgender, non-binary?
2. Do I have dual personality?
3. Will my sexual orientation (toward men) change after HRT?
4. Can I get a soulmate who wants someone like me?
    - I can't answer this for you
5. Can I save my sperm and have my own child ? (except sperm bank)
    - I think it is very unlikely you could, requires very fast low temp freezing, as in Nitrogen
6. can a very low dose of estrogen help me?
    - Possibly, but only a Dr or Endocrinologist can help there, please don't self med, its dangerous
7. Any other advice?
    - Please get some medical guidance regarding hormones and transitioning and I do understand it may be very hard for you... I say this with your safety in mind.

hugs

[Ms Grace]

Welcome to the forum.

1. So who am I, a genderfluid, androgyny, transgender, non-binary?
Sorry, only you can come to that decision yourself. No one here will be able to tell you.

2. Do I have dual personality?
Again, that isn't something we can tell you here. I know you say you cannot talk to a doctor but some psychology might help you determine this.

3. Will my sexual orientation (toward men) change after HRT?
Some people says it does, others say it doesn't. The general consensus is that it probably won't, that sexual orientation remains fixed but there are always exceptions to that.

4. Can I get a soulmate who wants someone like me?
That's pretty subjective. Personally I don't believe in the idea of a soulmate but do believe there is someone I might connect with. As with all pursuits of love it is a matter of compatibility and mutual respect.

5. Can I save my sperm and have my own child ? (except sperm bank)
Sperm banking is about the only way you can do it. You can stick it in the refrigerator or freezer for unthawing and later use. Some people have thawed their sperm and their female partner has been able to conceive.

6. can a very low dose of estrogen help me?
Your milage may vary. Some people find it can help them quite a lot. Others not so much. Again it depends on your gender identity and what you are hoping to achieve.

7. Any other advice?
Yes, don't self-medicate - HRT is potentially very dangerous even in low dosages. Consult with a therapist, consult with an endocrinologist.

[suzifrommd]

Welcome, Viva. I'll try to help.

    1. So who am I, a genderfluid, androgyny, transgender, non-binary?   

You really can wear yourself out trying to label yourself. My therapist insists that the more important question is "how do I want to live?" We're all such unique snowflakes that trying to shoehorn us into some category is far more trouble then it's worth.

Often we feel we NEED a label in order to justify some change we want to make in our life. I don't agree. I think we're entitled to have the life and body that makes us feel true to ourselves, and any particular label or diagnosis should not qualify or disqualify us from doing what we know we need.

    2. Do I have dual personality?   

Well, I don't know, but what you describe could be a result of being trans and have nothing to do with multiple personality disorder.

    3. Will my sexual orientation (toward men) change after HRT?   

Like you, pre-transition I thought the idea of being with a man was icky. Now I date both men and women. The change did not come as a result of HRT. It came as a result of seeing myself as a woman (which I had not done previously. I believed in my gender assignment at birth.) My soft skin against a man's rougher, hairier body seemed to make more sense.

    4. Can I get a soulmate who wants someone like me?   

A lot of trans people of all varieties do, so it IS possible.

    5. Can I save my sperm and have my own child ? (except sperm bank)   

Someone else will have to answer this. My discovery came late enough in life that I already had all the kids I was going to have.

    6. can a very low dose of estrogen help me?   

I know people who it has helped, but the only way to tell is to try it.

    7. Any other advice?   

I went through a period of time where I wanted to be male but let people know I was "not completely" male. I thought about some feminine jewelry, or growing my fingernails long. In the end I transitioned completely to live as a female. I'm glad I did because it's turned out to be a far more natural and comfortable way to live.

I think it's really hard to present non-binary and hope people will pick it up. People are wired to gender people as one of the two binary genders. They do it unconsciously, so I think no matter how many signs I put out that I was non-binary, people would still have gendered me as male.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

[Nicole]

    1. So who am I, a genderfluid, androgyny, transgender, non-binary?
I called in a radio station during the week saying how confused I am at all these labels these days, you are what you are, go with it.

    2. Do I have dual personality?
We all do

    3. Will my sexual orientation (toward men) change after HRT?
Some will say yes, some will say no, some will say maybe.
Mine changed over time, whether that was because of HRT I'll never know, I think it was because somewhere deep down I always liked guys, but it took me being treated as a woman to see that.

    4. Can I get a soulmate who wants someone like me?
Only time will tell.

    5. Can I save my sperm and have my own child ? (except sperm bank)
If you want, ask your doctor
   
    6. can a very low dose of estrogen help me?
Ask your doctor

    7. Any other advice?
Its a ride, enjoy it, or don't its really up to you

[viva]

Welcome, Viva. I'll try to help.

You really can wear yourself out trying to label yourself. My therapist insists that the more important question is "how do I want to live?" We're all such unique snowflakes that trying to shoehorn us into some category is far more trouble then it's worth.

    Thank u Ma'am,
    It make some sense, and I want to Identify myself with a group because I afraid to be alone its like I m alien in this world. at first I consider myself as a crossdresser n not accept that I m trans, later I accepted myself as trans but what I found here that here is also so much diversity. I want to know from the people of my group that how they deal with the daily basis. besides I m a filmmaker who is starting on

Often we feel we NEED a label in order to justify some change we want to make in our life. I don't agree. I think we're entitled to have the life and body that makes us feel true to ourselves, and any particular label or diagnosis should not qualify or disqualify us from doing what we know we need.

Well, I don't know, but what you describe could be a result of being trans and have nothing to do with multiple personality disorder.

Like you, pre-transition I thought the idea of being with a man was icky. Now I date both men and women. The change did not come as a result of HRT. It came as a result of seeing myself as a woman (which I had not done previously. I believed in my gender assignment at birth.) My soft skin against a man's rougher, hairier body seemed to make more sense.

A lot of trans people of all varieties do, so it IS possible.

Someone else will have to answer this. My discovery came late enough in life that I already had all the kids I was going to have.

I know people who it has helped, but the only way to tell is to try it.

I went through a period of time where I wanted to be male but let people know I was "not completely" male. I thought about some feminine jewelry, or growing my fingernails long. In the end I transitioned completely to live as a female. I'm glad I did because it's turned out to be a far more natural and comfortable way to live.

I think it's really hard to present non-binary and hope people will pick it up. People are wired to gender people as one of the two binary genders. They do it unconsciously, so I think no matter how many signs I put out that I was non-binary, people would still have gendered me as male.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

Thank u Ma'am,
    It make some sense, and I want to Identify myself with a group because I afraid to be alone its like I m alien in this world. at first I consider myself as a crossdresser n not accept that I m trans, later I accepted myself as trans but what I found here that here is also so much diversity. I want to know from the people of my group that how they deal with the daily basis.
    besides I m a filmmaker who is starting on career and I have heard that people who get transition become less ambitious. That I dont want to loose my career.
    Its much like I cm to the decision after searching on net and ur reply that I sud not use hormone at this time due to lack of expert doctors, actual sex experience, Money, misbelieives about trans in india (indian thinks trans means being castrated and a hidden toy for men's pleasures only) My career in filmmaking, My manhood with women.
    Do u have any advice on how to delay transition for many years with mental clarity and inner satisfaction