About meI am May and 17 years old. I am from germany so please don't mind my horrible english x.x
I am a Transgirl, in therapy for a few months now and trying my best to get the approval for HRT.
I have always been shy and introverted, I never really had any friends outside of the internet but it's fine~
I like to draw, play the piano and watch romance movies or animes... or books or anything I love romance o3o
I came out to my sister and my parents in march after hiding my feelings from them for basically all of my life.
I always knew I want to be a girl and I really hope I can make that wish come true.
The little story of an unimportant girlI was born in august 1998 as the third child, and unfortunately the second son, of my homo- and transphobic parents.
My parents tried their best to beat the feminine behaviour out of me from start on. They wanted me to become as manly as possible basically.
They yelled at me for crying. They forced me to play with boy things. They hit me when I wore my sisters clothes.
I was scared of being who I really am since I was scared of being bullied or beat up again. So I ignored my feelings and lived my life as a boy for the past 17 years.
Everybody saw something is bothering me. Everybody was asking me if I am okay all the time because I look so down.
But I couldn't tell anybody. I never had a friend or anybody I trusted to talk to. So I kept on hiding.
When puberty started I was on the edge to killing myself. I didn't want to see myself change more and more into someone I am not. I would rather be dead than a boy. I hated the sight of me in the mirror. I would cut my body to punish it for changing me into something I didn't want.
These things went on for years until I tried to poison myself to set and end to everything.
Well I am still alive. For the better.
I started to read a lot about transsexuality and I realised I am not alone and I saw people transitioning from masculine bodybuilders into beautiful women. I finally had something like hope in my life.
First step was to come out to my family, I just needed someone to talk to about my problems. I couldn't hide it anymore.
I told my sister first, I am so glad I did. She is supporting me in any way possible. She even helped me gather the courage to come out to my parents.
My parents, of course, hated the idea of having a transsexual child, and told me it is just a phase and I should ignore it. I told them a lot of times that I felt like that all my life but they didn't believe me, they still don't.
They don't care how I feel, they keep on calling me their son and calling me by my birth name.
They don't care if I tried to kill myself, they would rather have a dead son than a transdaughter.
But nothing can bring me down anymore. I have a direction in my life. I have a goal and a dream I am living for.
With the help of my sister I got an appointment at a therapist and I am sooo happy it won't be more than 1 year until I can finally get hormones.
So, that was the story of my life put short. -w-
I hope I can meet a lot of great people in these forums and cheer people up who are going through the worst of their life.
Life is our one, first, only and last chance to be who we really are.
Nothing is over until we die. And until we die, there is plenty of ways to change everything for the better and for the best.
There is no point in giving up.
~Thank you for reading all that~
