Transitioning and hrt in the 40's

[Tessa567]

Good Morning,

I'm 48 and currently in my sixth month of hrt. I'm 6'2", cute as a boy but not so much being a girl. I attend transgender weekend getaways and have numerous transgender friends. I am also married with four children and a supportive wife. I am the hyper sensitive type and at times wear my emotions on my sleeve.

I have recently given in to the fact that I probably won't be capable of transitioning 24/7. The same ole, same ole family pressures, work and so on. Most importantly I just don't have what it takes to weather negative comments, stares and the harshness of transitioning. I say this as I really don't think I'll ever be able to successfully pass.

I have the utmost of respect for my transgirl friends that have the same passing dilemma as me but possess the determination and inner fortitude to make it work for them. I admire them so and wish I could be like them.

With all this being said, HRT has been such a blessing in my life and has balanced my inner self more than I could have ever anticipated. Physically, I look 10 years younger, love my body and now have full "B" cup breasts and shave my legs every day. I seriously don't know how I would deal with life if I ever stopped HRT.

So here's the kicker, I plan on living as a boy but staying on hrt. I will still go away during the transgender weekends but that will be the extent of me living outwardly as a female.

I am just wondering if any other girls are in the same situation as me?  I would love to hear others opinions on the matter. Transitioning takes many paths. My path is somewhat different but is what I feel I must do for my own needs.

By the way, I am actually very happy, content and looking forward to the future. My biggest worries are hiding my breasts (lol). I love them and they remind me minute by minute of who I really am.

Anyway, transitioning to a girl but living as a boy, what do you think???

[WendyA]

I'm 57 and will be starting HRT in a couple of days (whenever the mail order pharmacy my insurance uses gets them here) they are literally in the mail.  I currently have no plans to socially transition so I can relate to your situation.  I'm glad you're also in a loving relationship with support.  These two items are critical. Peace.

[Shandril]

Im in the same boat starting therapy on the 28th then hrt but i plan on living 75:25 male:female
Im happy with that and cant wait for thw mental and physical changes, luckily i also have a supportive wife and i also need to respect her boundaries.

~Shan~

[Tessa567]

I'm 57 and will be starting HRT in a couple of days (whenever the mail order pharmacy my insurance uses gets them here) they are literally in the mail.  I currently have no plans to socially transition so I can relate to your situation.  I'm glad you're also in a loving relationship with support.  These two items are critical. Peace.

Thanks Wendy. Oh you have some exciting months ahead!!!! Hang tough and know it will be an emotional roller coaster for the first few months. After that it's smooth sailing ahead. Best of luck!!!

[Tessa567]

Im in the same boat starting therapy on the 28th then hrt but i plan on living 75:25 male:female
Im happy with that and cant wait for thw mental and physical changes, luckily i also have a supportive wife and i also need to respect her boundaries.

~Shan~

Hey Shan,

Respecting my wife is the utmost of importance. She is very supportive but we have had our moments. The biggest lesson I learned was to protect her from the high and lows of even my limited transition. There is a lot of decisions that goes into hrt and transitioning. HRT is wonderful and you won't be sorry!!!

[MichaelaLJ1972]

First of all, I love to hear from others who are starting in their 40's on up. It gives me hope! I really thought I was too old at age 43 to even start. But, I've seen enough on here from others to know that's not the case.

I only just started HRT yesterday and my plans before I started were simply to live and present as a male for as long as it takes me to get a comfortable level of hair removal on my face. As much as I'd love to get a whole new wardrobe and makeup and just go out on the town. I know I am not ready.

I'm not very tall, only 5'5". I also haven't ever been married nor do I have kids, but I do take care of my elderly father... I still haven't come out to him, but both of my therapists have suggested that I should sooner rather than later. I guess it's mostly because of the changes that he will notice over the course of my HRT. Maybe once I am able to tell him I'll feel good enough that I can actually start presenting female. I know that if my mom was still alive it would be a lot easier.

I wish you all the best on your journey

[kittenpower]

I think it could work for you, and it's great that you can find a happy medium without disrupting your world. I was on HRT for 5 years to allow for adequate feminization, and to save for initial FFS, before I went full time; so I know from experience that most of us can be on HRT long term without transitioning full time.  HRT affects our skin and fat distribution so most of us look younger from the treatment, and also causes breast growth, but that can usually be hidden, and if not most people will think we have "moobs", and for most of us it takes a long time to get hip and butt fat distribution, and even then it's not as prominent as what Cis women develop, which is why black market silicone injections are unfortunately in demand, as well as fat transfer, and hip/butt implants. People will notice when you grow out your hair, have your eyebrows shaped, have electrolysis, grow your nails, start using female mannerisms, speak with a female/feminine voice, and walking femininely; so basically most people will not know that you are trans just because you are on HRT.

[melissa_h]

I'm 41, I started HRT in October of this year, and am in the exact same boat on transitioning later on.

If HRT goes well, I'll advance my plans  sooner, but I'm trying to take a slow pace and not looking to outwardly transition immediately.

So far, I've been really happy with this approach, and am enjoying a more confident yet relaxed worldview.

[AnonyMs]

I'm in a similar situation. Been on HRT for some years and still presenting male.

No plans for social transition anytime soon. It's not ideal, but its working quite well. I feel a bit like I'm balanced on a knife edge, so I'm not sure how long I can last like this.

[Ms Grace]

I'm 49, started HRT (for the second time) when I was 47. To be honest I never expected I would be able to transition successfully but it turns out I was wrong.

Depending on how much breast growth you get you might start to have some trouble hiding them convincingly (especially in warmer months/climates) after 12-18 months. It can be done but might be uncomfortable. I don't know what other feminisations you are considering (beard removal, body hair removal) but if so you may find your self image could shift.

[Rachel]

I am 53. I did my intake Dec. 2012 and HRT 5/2013.

I initially intended to do low dose but chose full dose. I initially could not come out or express in public. I am 100% out and present at work with my preferred name. It is not that HRT caused the changes it is that each little step felt good after the initial fear. Being yourself feels great. Being accepted as yourself feels great. The contrary feelings are there when I hide who I am.

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

Allow these examples of 'You are never too late'.

     -  One M-F member of my transsexual group recently had her GCS / SRS this past Summer - she is age 70, looks in her 50s, and feels great.

     -  Another M-F member had her surgery one year ago, is age 60, looks 40s, and comments she frequently gets 'carded' at the store when she buys a bottle of wine.

It is okay transitioning at your own pace while knowing you have no limits other than what you place upon yourself.

*

[Tessa567]

Well I sure do appreciate the kind comments and words of wisdom. Thank you all for responding!!! Who knows what the future holds as far as outward appearance. As I tell myself often, I am what I am and chose to be proud of that. I am also proud of all of you for your paths as well.

Tess