Good day,
My name is Kai. I'm 36 years old. I have dealt with trans issues pretty much all of my life only to find out I am not really trans at all. You see, my parents are Christian, I was born at a Baptist Medical Center. I had ambiguous genders and the doctor performed a surgery on me from my birth. This was hidden from me until my grandfather who kept excellent journals passed away in June of this year and my cousin inherited his books. Needless to say it opened many old wounds from the past as it confirmed several suspicions for me. Shouldn't matter, right? I was already scheduled for the surgery anyways... But it did matter, I was lied to all my life... Anyhow, I'm now 4 days post op.
What does this change for me? Nothing.
I have dealt with problems, setbacks, injuries, and life trying to reach this goal. Now I reached it and I feel the same as before. I don't feel I truly needed the surgery to become whole, I learned to accept myself for who I am. I persevered and pushed to my limits and beyond. I kept my outlook positive. I never gave up. Perhaps I gave up on the surgery when I broke my leg in April of 2014. I knew I'd never make it then... Until my insurance became Kaiser. Only now I could afford to do it. And I did it... Finally achieving a goal. Life is good.
If I were to have been handed the info and options for surgery at 18, I would probably have had regrets. I wouldn't have been given a chance to learn to accept myself for who I was and would still have been miserable to this day for an irreversible choice I can't take back.
So I guess I'm just giving a warning to those that want instant gratification and think that this is a cure all magic wand. It isn't. I'd be lying if I said so otherwise. Life is precious, don't waste it with the poor me attitude. Keep your head up and always look to the future. You never know what things lie before you, life is precious. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I wouldn't have met a certain core of friends otherwise, ones who pushed me to always succeed and to never give up.
