hello all
am mera, 38 y old, am from Egypt
first am happy to be here with you all
will....
as you may know how it's to be a transwoman in a country like this or in the all Arab stone age world,
what I am is forbidden!!
so I must live in secret, I can't have any medical care or any kind of support,
every day I see girls like me ( MTF ) facing Ridicule ,persecution and imprisonment
so.. I had to live 2 Separated lives
one for the community and family , as a the male they want me to be
and one for me, for my fem soul,
but that isn't as easy as it sound !
I have to do things and take decision that very cretical to my life...
like i wanted to study art for my College, but hey that is not a manly things (family says), you should be like your daddy an engineer. so it's done!!
I can't imagine myself in relation with a woman , in fact I have a boyfriend , but could I say that , it will be simply a polite or a knife cutting my neck, a very religious and innervated and manly and stone age society
so I marred when doubt become very close
and life goes on
so ... couple month ago , I couldn't take it anymore , so I come out to that woman am marred to as a transwoman, and asked her to accept it and everyone should be on his way, and that my friends was the stupidest thing I ever done
what I was thinking of or what I was imagine her will do?
she was very suspicion and see many things in me that don't fit as man, like waxing all my body, wearing feminine perfume, and how hormones Influence to my body
she .... the nature female , tern to a lioness a very ferocious one
she give me a couple slaps on my face and she swear to not just tell all my family ( who will kill me as simple as it is to avoid the scandal) , she will go to the media and say everything to the all world !!
unless I reconsider this madness and go to a doctor ( not to cheek my case , to make me the man I should be)
and to go to a religious man ( a sheikh) to correct my soul and exorcist the dooms in me !!
and now I live in hill
I am looked in my room, no friends, not allowed to go out,
I forced to stop hrt ( which was a self description , I mean without doctors, but it had a nice effect ) and take some description a doze of testosterone
stop taking care with my body ( really I become like a gorilla ) she even forced me to grow a bear
really guys am thinking about end that miserable life of Maine
last.... am sorry to bother you all with this drama but I was in real need to talk
thanks
