Hello

[TechGirl]

Hello everyone.

I've been a short time lurker and started participating in the forum before I finally found the introduction section.  Some Tech Girl I am!

I'm a newly outed (to my wife) crossdresser in my forties married for almost twenty years but just now raising our first child.

I've been closet cross dressing for most of my life.  It started with girls jackets when I was a young kid, an occasional digression into my mothers dresses while I was still small enough to fit her petite frame, and finally became an on/off thing for years as I could fit into my wife's wardrobe.  While it was initially for pleasure, I found the most satisfaction from just being in women's clothes.

I've always felt out of place around other males.  I'm not into sports and don't have the same kind of desire for physical aggression.  My place always seemed to be around other girls.  Maybe it came from being raised with two younger sisters and no father, don't know.

I'm into computers, books (electronic preferred), used to be into video games, and know my way around a wrench and power tools.  Oh yeah, and cross dressing just took off from coming out to my wife.

My SO and I are still working things out.  She has absolutely no desire to share, so I've been a little out of control trying to build a basic wardrobe.  Have had many adventures already while shopping for this wardrobe.

I don't know where I want to go with this yet.  Not sure if cross dressing is the answer, hrt, or full transition.  I saw someone post that "if you are asking yourself if you should transition, then you probably should".  I don't know that that's me yet.

What I do know is that I want to discover who I have been hiding inside me all these years.  There's a part of me I have kept locked up that has finally broken free.  Who is this person?  Is she me?  Is this girl the real me?  Or is she just a softer more understanding side of me?

What does this mean for my marriage, my son, my future?  I don't know.

But I think I have found a good community to share it with.

Please be easy with me, my outing is still raw and fresh.

[Dena]

As I have already greeted you on another post, I won't flash you another set of the rule. You are welcome to explore the site and ask questions. Where you feel comfortable in life will be up to you but I grabbed a link that might be helpful to you. Transgener takes many forms the link will give you the words and definitions that may help you describe what you feel. Youtube also has a series called "the transition channel" that is a mini therapy session and may help as well. Should you have any questions for me, post to this thread or at the rate you are going, PM me at 15 posts.

[V M]

Hi TechGirl 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Kirsty48]

Hi TechGirl welcome....!! Don't think you need fear being treated any way other than gently around here, unless you break the forum rules of course, in which case..... LOL 

I, in all honesty, got it all wrong when I came out to my wife and found some bridges burnt as I had not fully considered the implications of coming out.  I went into therapy with the wrong outcome in my mind (trying to save my marriage), although I emerged with the right outcome for me as I was asking myself exactly the same questions as you.  In contrast, not having any children (of my own that is, step-children only) means that I have been less inhibited about making the decisions that have become important to my wellbeing.  I hope that you can have a successful dialogue; talking will be key as to what happens next. 

Good idea having your own wardrobe as it is an essential part of your identity.

Best wishes as you negotiate the next steps and hoping that you get to where you need to be.  xx

[Lyndsey]

Hi

Glad to see you here it is fun and very helpful.

Lynn

[Karlie Ann]

I am a techie too, so welcome!  I am also in my 40s and have a son.  No idea how I will communicate it to him when the time comes.

As for your own clothes, that was huge for me - for the first time ever, I could say that they were MY clothes, and not my moms/wifes/whatever.

[TechGirl]

I am a techie too, so welcome!  I am also in my 40s and have a son.  No idea how I will communicate it to him when the time comes.

As for your own clothes, that was huge for me - for the first time ever, I could say that they were MY clothes, and not my moms/wifes/whatever.

I wouldn't mind sharing with my wife at all,  just so much more economical that way,  and also adds a layer to the relationship to help with further acceptance of this side of me.

For now we are both trying to just understand this while keeping our marriage intact.