Hello Everyone,
I apologize ahead of time for my long intro/update.
I used to be on here (for a couple of years) , but due to certain medical issues with a close and dear relative, I had to jump off and take care of them until their unfortunate passing.
At the moment, I'm my 4th year and a Half of HRT. Plus, I had my Orchiectomy 2 years ago. I'm virtually done with my beard (boy , did that take forever!). I have had very positive results. I pass most if not all of time. I've been living full-time for 2 1/2 years, including having my name gender changed officially. I'm 6 feet but HRT has given me some decent curves, so I feel proportionate (at least that's what they tell me). I inherited those curves from my moms side.
I think most of the barriers I had at the beginning of my transition were placed by me and not those around me. Once I let go of that, life was better and more tolerable. I have a few therapists help with that.
It took me a long while (despite what I mentioned above) to feel confident and good about myself. I think disbelief kept me from feeling better. For some of us, no matter how much people tell you, you look fine, you STILL think they are just being nice. For me, it took a while to find out who I was in the Female world. I had to decompose my old self and rebuild or build my new self. I had to edit parts of the manly side and also figure out what I could "transfer" to my new self. This is something that happens to some that have lived most of their lives as a male. I think sometimes (not all the time) it's harder for the ones in their late 30's and older to deal with since we have many "manly Habits" that don't want to go away.
I've gone through voice therapy and seem to do very well with that (although, there have been times with my old set of "buds" where I let go ---and Gosh that is soooo frustrating). But, they love me and even help me out (we have a special sign we do just to remind me to go up). Lol
I've been very lucky to have an amazing set of friends that have welcomed me with open arms and much love. My family of origin had not been as kind. But, I'm old enough not to give a darn. It is their loss.
I was married to an amazingly wonderful woman...and STILL AM! She's been my rock and salvation. She has gotten involved with The LGBT community mentoring LGBT college kids and considers herself to be a Lesbian. I found that transition, isn't only about YOU it's also for those transitioning with you (i.e, your family, friends and those that love you). After 10 years of marriage my wife has (re)introduced me to her family as her wife and to this day still amazes me with her kindness, dedication and love.
My wife and I will be redoing our wedding vows, and this time, I'M walking down the isle in my pretty white dress.
Here it comes...
BUT, my issue is that I STILL see the old person when I look in the mirror and I feel I could make a few more feminizing touch ups for my face through FFS. So I'll be asking a few of you out there some questions now that I am ready to move forward with that.
For those of you starting your journey, I wish you the very best, and hope to see you blossom into the women you are meant to be.
I look forward "meeting" you all online.
Cheers!
KarmaGirl
