Telling Teachers?

[alexander20]

Hi, I'm Alex! (I'm new here so if I've got anything wrong or I'm posting in the wrong place or something please feel free to point me in the right direction!)

I need advice :/ I have a teacher who I want to tell I'm ftm and ask him to call me by my preferred name, Alexander, and I have no idea how to do this. I've found so many email templates and stuff for this kind of thing but I really want to just tell him face to face. I don't even know how to ask him if I can talk to him confidentially to tell him!

Has anyone done this that can give me some advice on how to do this face to face in the least awkward way? :/

Thanks!

Alex

[Dena]

It would be best if your parents talked with the school about this because only having one teacher know about this will confuse everybody else. Also this is something you should discuss with your therapist as you will be able to determine how to best approach this.

[alexander20]

It would be best if your parents talked with the school about this because only having one teacher know about this will confuse everybody else. Also this is something you should discuss with your therapist as you will be able to determine how to best approach this.

Thanks, yeah, I see what you mean! The only thing is, he's a conductor at my band as opposed to a school teacher which makes it slightly different, and I'm also not asking for a change of pronouns (as this would be too difficult) so I'm hoping to tell him and ask him to use my name, and then to pass it off as a nickname. I'm not sure if that made any sense whatsoever but in terms of my situation with my extremely unaccepting grandmother it's the best I will be able to get 

Anyway, thanks for the advice, it's very much appreciated! And yeah, I'll definitely go to my therapist and talk about it, I just wanted to hear from someone with first-hand experience I guess

[purplewuggybird]

I have a little experience on this that I hope I can share. First of all this all is super dependent on your out situation, as well as the style/ideals of your school. Just for some background j went to a pretty liberal school and was really out. So what I would do is avoid an email at first. I think emails are amazing, personally, but for at least a conversation such as this a talk in person is good. To start, if no teacher at your school knows that you are trans I think you should start with the school counsellor. I know, I had trouble with this one, but honestly they are (usually) an amazing resource. They could do some snooping or groundwork that would help you in presenting this to your teacher(s). That is what I think you should do first, and any email writing or personal talks can come afterwards best of luck to you!!!
Purple


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[AveryTheElf]

Unfortunately I agree. I had only one teacher who knew I was transgender at the beginning of the school year, and it was incredibly confusing for all the other teachers. I came out to the rest of my teachers all at once (or, within 2-3 days). It was terrifying- but generally if they call cisgender kids by their nicknames, they have to call you by your preferred name or else it is discrimination.

This is how I told my teachers:

"Hey, Mr./Mrs./Mx. ____, can I talk to you about something? I came out as transgender during the summer, and I was hoping, since you call other students by their nicknames, you'd call me Avery?" Typically I got positive responses.

[Hecknado]

What I did, was at the end of the class, when most students are milling around the door or slipping out when the bell rings, is to ask the teacher. I simply said, "can you call me david", and with short hair, no chest, pretty obvious. I did this with all my teachers plus the dean, and any other teachers wouldnt come across me or in the lacrosse team I told her I am transgender. She was surprised at that.

[GarryLynn]

I emailed my principal and told him the situation and he emailed my teachers and stuff. I have transgender and gender-fluid teachers so my school is very understanding and stuff.