I'm sitting here Blossom with a smile on my face.  The smile has to do 
with only one thing, because I can relate on the deepest of levels, a 
smile because I've traveled this road forever.  Yes.....you can!  For 
this very moment I am going to leave this here and to say that if you 
would like me too, when I come in from outside work I will sit and draft
 a more complete reply.  Or.....if you like you can PM me and I would be
 happy to talk in a more private setting.  Either way it is up to you.  
The main thing is that you can and yes there is hope for 
you always.   Dani   P.S.  I tried to respond to this as soon as you posted, but when I hit the post button nothing happened.  Long story short apparently I had a comupter mishap in which certain protocols became missing.  I hope the above makes sense, it is the loner perspective, not to say this is preferred in any way, I just have some insights is all.