New Swimsuit Outed me :(

[OCAnne]

Hello Everyone, so been chatting with a guy I met online, unaware I was a transsexual woman.  But before our date decided to let him know.  Turns out he kinda suspected it.
So, it was not my voice, face or height that outed me...it was a picture of me wearing a new one piece swimsuit!  My friend (trans) says it's the narrow hips and wider shoulders.  Another reason for me to shy away from breast augmentation.  Don't want to look too top heavy. 
Age: 46 - 6'3'' 170 pounds. 41-35-40  Under-bust: 38 - Shoulders across: 20

Thank you,
Anne
 
EOM

[Jessika]

You look great to me. There are Cis Woman who don't look that good in a Bathing Suit.

His Loss, not yours girl!

[Laura_7]

-try a diferent colour. Dark colours tend to hide surface. In another colour boobies are much more likely to show, which adds to curves. It can also optically add to curves elsewhere.
-wear a belt, or use a bathing suit with a skirt. It optically adds to a waist.


There are very nice clothes which optically support, cis people use this in abundance:

http://www.swimsuitsdirect.com/women/women-shop-by-brand/anne-cole/anne-cole-engineered-halter-tankini-swimsuit.html


hugs

[SciNerdGirl]

Wow, you look fantastic!!!  I'd give anything to have a body shaped like that.

[juliehope]

You look fab !

The guy is crazy and he is missing out by not dating you.

I saw your video and am amazed how you wonderful your transition has been. Like me you were married to a women, when did you discover you liked guys?

Take care.

Love Jools x

[Elis]

As a biological female I see nothing wrong with how you look in the bathing suit. Many women have the same body type as you do. You look very good in the suit and it works very well in showing your curves . Btw; I was so happy/relieved to see how accepting he is of you being trans. He's definitely a keeper.

[Jessie Ann]

People don't like to admit that they were not able to tell that we are trans.  So when they find out they will come up with a reason to let us know they knew all along.  I wouldn't put too much stock into his comments.  You look good girl!

[OCAnne]

Well its all Jessie Ann's fault...she found the swimsuit!

I decided to share this with everyone because it's really hard for us out there...pre or post op.
You spend heavily on, getting SRS, hair, nails, sounding and smelling pretty but it's still not good enough.  Once trans always...
This guy had serious potential.  Not turned off by my job, height and lack of boobs.  In fact he enjoyed my bra free look.  Unfortunately he could not get past I was a woman.........transsexual version.

I hope my body changes to give me more of a butt...and fill in the hip gap.  I have been on HRT 21 months.  my body has not changed much in a year.  A friend who has been on HRT 4 years had her butt grown substantially in the last 6 months...perhaps there is hope for me.
Thank you,
Anne

Pictured Left: Aug 7, 2015     Right: April 23, 2016

EOM

[Laura_7]

Well its all Jessie Ann's fault...she found the swimsuit!

I decided to share this with everyone because it's really hard for us out there...pre or post op.
You spend heavily on, getting SRS, doing our hair, nails, sounding and smelling pretty but it's still not good enough.  Once trans always...
This guy had serious potential.  Not turned off by my job, height and lack of boobs.  In fact he enjoyed my bra free look.  Unfortunately he could not get past I was a woman.........transsexual version.

I hope my body changes to give me more of a butt...and fill in the hip gap.  I have been on HRT 21 months.  my body has not changed much in a year.  A friend who has been on HRT 4 years had her butt grown substantially in the last 6 months...perhaps there is hope for me.
Thank you,
Anne

Wow I'd say there is quite some change .. imo waist and hips and cleavage have really changed ... very good ...

Well cis people had a long time to look for more favourable styles, there are many little ways how cis people try to improve their looks. You might simply do a few of them too ... over time it will become second nature.
And imo you look great now ... I'd say give it some more time, cis people have 5 yrs and more until they develop their figures ...


*hugs*

[Jessie Ann]

Well its all Jessie Ann's fault...she found the swimsuit!

I agree with all the others that it actually looks really good on you!  So I will take the blame 

We will always have the issue of being trans.  We have a much smaller pool of potential people then cis women do.  For the younger people it will not be as much of an issue because of the greater acceptance among the kids of today.  Sorry you had to have that happen to you girl.  <3 ya!

[Paige0000]

Yeah one big no no is spaghetti straps when you have somewhat broad shoulders. They tend to accentuate them which is the last this you want. Now just because you have a more athletic physic doesn't mean you don't look feminine. Have you seen Female swimmers they are toned and strong and still look very attractive. We just have to work with what we've been given and focus on the parts of yourself you find the most beautiful.

[Jessie Ann]

It wasn't the one with spaghetti straps that he saw......

Yeah one big no no is spaghetti straps when you have somewhat broad shoulders.

[Paige0000]

It wasn't the one with spaghetti straps that he saw......

Oh oops my bad I was abit tired this morning sorry about that.

[Karen_A]

Hi Anne,

There are some people who pick up on very subtle things...

What I've noticed over the years, outside of voice and manor what gets some of us read are proportions, and unless carefully chosen, a bathing suite can really make this noticeable.

While yours proportions are not bad, broad shoulders relative to hips is one of those subtle things some people just pick up on and that then make them look for other stuff. Sometimes it's not even conscious it's just in their mind something seems incongruous at first.

It's true that some natal women have that shape but they are in the minority, while for us it is probably the majority

You can minimize that a good bit by the style of the suit and pattern, but I'm not the one who could suggest specifics. I do think however that you can make the issue go away.

One thing that can minimize it with that suit is the right coverup when out of the water

For myself I have a very unfortunate build (big boned, big chest etc) that HRT never helped much... so, particularly if I get my weight down (should lose a good bit for health now), I a have tendency to get read from behind by some people sometimes,  and big hands and feet don't help. From the front FFS has helped a lot so I usually don't have issues ... but every once in awhile I do, but I don;t let it get to me anymore when it happens.

Take care,
- Karen

[pretty pauline]

  But before our date decided to let him know.  Turns out he kinda suspected it.

You look beautiful, I don't see anything out of place, I think he only suspected after you decided to let him know, he probably didn't want to admit he didn't know, I wonder if you didn't tell him your history, he probably wouldn't suspected it, but when you told him ''he kinda suspected''  well I wonder, I've a view on ''why tell on first date'' but that's a whole discussion that has been discussed in other threads.

[Ms Grace]

That's quite a bummer, I can understand how disappointing it would be. Is the upshot that you didn't end up going on a date with him? Or did you both go out anyway?

As for the pic, he must have a sharp eye for that kind of thing, I really doubt most guys would pick up on those barely noticeable details. If it still worries you though maybe try avoiding directly front on shots. I don't have overly wide shoulders anyway but I find that turning them ever so slightly towards the camera makes them appear even slimmer!

[Dahlia]

He means the lack of space between the upper legs like ciswomen have.
Further more....broad shoulders, narrow hips etc.
Try a coloured patterned bathing suit with WIDE shoulderstraps as narrow(er) ones tend to emphasize your broad shoulders and wide trunk.

His rejection is a friendly and respectful one btw. Nice guy!

[OCAnne]

Hello everyone, a friend insists breast argumentation would help alleviate my broad shoulders look.  She has or had the same concern prior to buying a set of C cups (high profile).  I must say she might be right.  Bigger breasts might bring shoulders into proportion to my body.  My concern following her lead is looking top heavy as a result of the new mass.

So what about my crotch?  Well, I have to do a better job of presenting it to men.  Maybe a 2 piece tankini and high cut bikini bottom combination would do the trick.  I like darker suits because they hide my body's tendency to swallow the suit fabric.  Perhaps I should do the opposite... and own the camel toe look.  Could be another passing trick. 

Wider hips is a much different issue, which appears to be getting better as some here have observed and commented.  I believe its mainly due to fat redistribution.

Needless to say swim suits expose any proportional imperfection in the male to female body.  Going forward I'll be careful to present more of what guys want to see.

Thank you,
Anne

EOM

[WishnHopeN]

You look more like a woman than a lot of women.  I'm sorry, I don't mean to argue, but from what I see, the photo does not out you.  You look fantastic.  Many cis female would be (and probably are) very jealous of your fit figure. 

Posting a photo of yourself next to a model!?!?!?!  My God are we comparing ourselves to models?  Airbrushed specimens of perfect humans? 

You actually look like more like a woman than my Aunt who is cis female.  You have a similar look to her, with you being the prettier one.  She has your shoulder and hip issue  but much more exaggerated.  She has very narrow hips and wide shoulders.  She does have gigantic boobs.  G cup or more I would guess.  Natural, not implants, but I don't think that helps her pass as female any more than if she was small bossomed.   

This brings up a quote from a cis gender female.  "After your transition you wont look in the mirror and see a perfect, beautiful woman.  You'll be just like the rest of us girls.  Insecure and seeing, in yourself, a catalog of flaws."

I've been borderline obsessed with transsexualism since I was 15... I'm now 44.  A lot of my cis female friends get asked, at some point, if they are transsexuals.  My sister, as in biological sister (cis gender) has been asked if she's trans.  She's a pretty woman but has a deep voice, is muscular, and has a hint of masculinity here and there, nothing that tips her over line into looking like a man but just a hint.

A good friend of mine, cis female, looks like Sophia Loren at the age of 30 (gorgeous).  She's gotten asked several times if she's trans.

I could go on and on.  I don't mean to preach but... this post is getting me riled up. 

Transsexuality is out today.  Front page and center.  People are going to get clocked, here and there, as trans whether they are trans or not (in my humble opinion).

Low profile, wide pocket, implants can help bring the shoulder into a better silhouette in my opinion.  If the pockets are too narrow it can exaggerate wide shoulders.

The bathing suit in question is a bit boxy to begin with, on any figure.  Maybe something that wraps at the waist, has V shapes at the neckline and waist, would give more of an ideal silhouette, although, again, I say you look fantastic.

[TinaVane]

Some cis women are shaped v shaped like this ... every woman do not have that wide pelvic like area .... But considering your body not being overweight i think you would have looked hotter in a two piece ... You have a nice body to hide it in a one piece