2 bad therapy sessions. Am I missing something?

[rachel_grr]

I've gone to two therapists now that lists LGBTQ and transgender as their specialty, with one even listing gender identity as well. Overall, they didn't seem to help and didn't seem quite knowledgeable. I have an appointment with the third who seems more promising.

My understanding has always been that going to a therapist is the first step towards transitioning. In terms of getting HRT, except for going the informed consent route, the therapist can write an approval to a doctor or endocrinologist for granting the patient hormones. The two therapists didn't seem to be aware of this. Am I missing something?

The first would say transgender patients would only come to her if they are feeling lonely, depressed, or have severe anxiety. Also, she may once in a while fill out a survey that was given to her from a doctor. Either way, she is no the first step and doesn't necessarily approve of the hormones. Basically she asks me back if this is what I want, if I'm not under the influence of drugs or have some disorder like schizophrenia, and if yes, and if my mind and heart are in sync, then go for it. She even asked me where I heard from that going to a therapist is the first step for HRT.

The second therapist was more along the same lines but I felt like I was able to engage in deeper conversation. She did admit she didn't know too much and try to get me to access other support groups or resources.

In reality I'm still confused and not sure if hormones would be the best for me long term. However, I want to go on them for a short term (because I don't want to lose the ability to have bio kids, and without sperm banking). I want to know if my gender dysphoria still exists if I were to be on hormones.

[Dena]

Unfortunately there isn't a standard for gender therapist. People can call themselves one when they don't have the training. It looks like you will have to shop around and ask important questions about HRT, surgery and how many others have they helped transition. I suspect those therapist may be into LGB but have little or no experience with TQ. I'm sorry your have a problem locating a therapist but maybe the next one.

[Jacqueline]

Your profile suggests you live in the SF bay area. There is a very large community there and I believe many therapists to choose from. I am on the east coast, so while I could do a search for you, I bet you could as well.  You might also try at a LGBTQ center or support organization. They often have lists of therapists who can help.

Dena is right. Not all are created equal. Additionally, I don't know if you have been to a therapist before this. However, it's almost like dating. Some therapists you will get along with, others you don't. Even if you find a specialist, You might "rub each other the wrong way". If so, try another one.

My endo was explaining that not all endos approve or HRT for transgender people. More of a morality issue. That sort of came to mind when I saw your line that ended with   

doesn't necessarily approve of the hormones.

Try again, sorry to say. But at the same time, you will find a good one. I have heard of a number of people trying HRT for a short period of time. Once you get to that point, I hope it all works out for you.

Thank you for starting a new thread.
With warmth,

Joanna

[kaitylynn]

A therapist cannot really tell you who you are, so their ability is mostly to help you draw the answers from within yourself.  It took me a few sessions to build an informed relationship with mine and after that we have been a good team.  Sounds like you have not found the right one for what you desire.

I got in contact with my therapist through a support group member's recommendation.  Can you access your local LGBTQ center website?  That may net you the list of therapists that have been, at least cursorily, vetted by the community.

Each person is different, but for my story...HRT certainly reduced dysphoria and helped greatly with my self image issues.  I have discussed this with a number of others regarding HRT and the story seems to be echoed a lot.  Many started on low dose for a while where the effects tend to be slowed while giving you an idea what you can expect.

Good luck on your journey.

[Asche]

I would second the suggestion to get a recommendation from your local LGBT center.  (Personal recommendations would be even better, but I didn't know anyone who could recommend one.)

The first therapist I tried for gender therapy was recommended by my regular therapist at the time as "someone who has some experience with transgender people."  She was clueless, but didn't realize how clueless she was.  I stopped going after about 5 sessions.

My current therapist was the first on a list of three recommended by our local LGBT center (they have lists of therapists, endos, etc.), and she's been great.

[Loved_PrincessMPLS]

I was actually going to post about this same topic, but looks like you beat me to it 

I saw a gender therapist today, but prior to doing so, I did some shopping around and got referrals from my current psychiatrist's office who I see for other mental health issues. Not only that, but I did some looking around within various clinic networks in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area where I live that would accept my insurance.

After a little homework, I would call them and ask them questions about their qualifications, their background, what they're capable of (e.g. Can they write letters for surgery?), how they - themselves -  identify in terms of gender. So what I'm getting at here is to do a little research on your own about some of the therapists you plan to see before you actually see them -- sometimes even a simple 10 or 15 minute phone call will save you hassle or tell you whether or not you two will click.

Beyond that, I keep my therapy portion separate from my HRT, where I have my medical doctor manage my HRT and lab testing. That's simply my preference; your mileage may vary.