HELP! My vagina is shredding....

[Marina M.]

Hello everyone!
I live in Greece and I had my SRS with Mr.Bellringer in London! I'm almost 5 years post op but I didn't have continuous intercourse until some months ago... I used to dilate every now and then though and I had sex two or three times per year. However I am in a commited relationship right now and I started noticing extreme pain while my boyfriend was entering me. After his penis was all inside me everything was fine... Until the next time when I was feeling pain again. He is quite big but I had no problems taking him in (width and depth wise). I finally realised that the pain was because I had some wounds inside the opening of my vaginal skin. I emailed Mr. Bellringer but he said that he would have to see it himself and right now travelling isn't really an option... A couple of doctors who saw it here told me to use some creams and that I should keep it moisturized with creams all the freaking time. However every time the wounds heal and I try to have intercourse again the skin shreds... And not in exactly the same place, just close. I'm really desperate at this point! I can't have sex and my confidence is nowhere to be seen. I also have to mention that I use like a ton of lube, so the lack of lubrication isn't the case here. Has anyone else experienced the same problem and if yes whad did you do about it? Please help me!

[Ms Grace]

Hey Marina

Welcome to Susan's 🙂 Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

That is a very unfortunate problem. Since intercourse is inflaming or exacerbating the condition have you considered stopping sex until the skin has healed completely? I know that isn't ideal or desirable but given the possibility of the condition worsening if it doesn't heal it may be preferable to abstain. Perhaps some gentle dilating is also needed? Anyway, I hope you find a solution ASAP.

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Cheers

Grace

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am post surgical, not sexually active and not a doctor but I have some thoughts for you to consider.

1. You should stop have sex until you see your doctor. It's possible that your guy is larger than you can handle and that is causing the damage. Sometime even CIS women can have this issue.

2. Did you have proper post surgical care? Wounds don't always heal correctly and when they don't they need to be treated so they heal properly. Failure to heals properly will result in weak spots when stressed. You shouldn't engage in sex until a doctor verifies that you are ready for sex.

3. Are you still on HRT. If you stopped HRT, that can leave the skin more fragile. Often, even if you are on HRT the doctors might give you an estrogen cream for your vagina that will help the skin convert to vaginal tissue. This is a slow process and takes months to happen.

[Marina M.]

Hey Marina

Welcome to Susan's 🙂 Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

That is a very unfortunate problem. Since intercourse is inflaming or exacerbating the condition have you considered stopping sex until the skin has healed completely? I know that isn't ideal or desirable but given the possibility of the condition worsening if it doesn't heal it may be preferable to abstain. Perhaps some gentle dilating is also needed? Anyway, I hope you find a solution ASAP.

Please check out the following links for general site info...

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Cheers

Grace

Hello Grace! Thank you for your warm welcome! I was doing some really subtle and gentle dilation, but since it was in fact healed and I tried again and it happened again I have completely stopped... Thank you so much for your reply!

Love

[Marina M.]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am post surgical, not sexually active and not a doctor but I have some thoughts for you to consider.

1. You should stop have sex until you see your doctor. It's possible that your guy is larger than you can handle and that is causing the damage. Sometime even CIS women can have this issue.

2. Did you have proper post surgical care? Wounds don't always heal correctly and when they don't they need to be treated so they heal properly. Failure to heals properly will result in weak spots when stressed. You shouldn't engage in sex until a doctor verifies that you are ready for sex.

3. Are you still on HRT. If you stopped HRT, that can leave the skin more fragile. Often, even if you are on HRT the doctors might give you an estrogen cream for your vagina that will help the skin convert to vaginal tissue. This is a slow process and takes months to happen.

Hello Dena! Thank you so much for your warm welcome and your help!
1. I understand what you're saying but the thing is I'm in love with the male in question (because generally I kinda hate'em..) and I love having him inside me... Will I ever be able to do that?

2. The wounds healed pretty nicely even though some of the sutures opened a bit, but I don't think that's the problem since I'm talking about the skin inside the vag (not deep inside just close to the opening). I have stopped sex for now and yes it's true that it's a very stressful period for me right now!

3. It's also true that I'm not very puctual with my HRT schedule... I always forget to take my pills and put my estrogel... I should probably stop that though for some reason I never seem to be able to. About this cream that you are saying d you know any particular one? And if yes how often should I put it? Also the doctor adivezed me to bathe before the application of the cream!

Thank you so so much!
Love

[Laura_7]

- you might consider estrogen levels being high enough, well in the female range. Many endos strive for levels of 180-200 pg/ml or above.

In this thread is more:
https😕/www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209390.msg1855751.html#msg1855751

- You might look for a healthy flora in the vagina. With a healthy flora unwanted bacteria etc are kept out and the tissue should be more resilient. Many cis people are recommended to eat organic yoghurt from time to time, and to use probiotic pessaries like intrafresh or femina flora.


https😕/www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201542.msg1793097.html#msg1793097

That pill made a huge difference. I smell and taste amazing. I feel healthier down there and all over. I self-lube better. ... I swear by this product!


- after the tissue is healed you might dilate with a small dilator and coconut oil and estrogen cream from time to time to help soften the tissue. You might also use dilators of increasing size to kind of be prepared for your partner.

After the vagina is healed regular sex may help keep the vagina stretched. Until then you might consider using dilators a while before.

Imo it may need some time to rebuild a healthy vagina but it may be better afterwards.

Until then you might consider anal intercourse. There are a lot of pleasurable spots that can be stimulated, at the right angle.
I'd say just use enough lube and tell him to take it slow in the beginning.
Usually guys would be happy for the opportunity. 🙂


Talk all of this through with your doc/gyn.

hugs

[Dena]

1. I understand what you're saying but the thing is I'm in love with the male in question (because generally I kinda hate'em..) and I love having him inside me... Will I ever be able to do that?

I don't know. The surgery has change so much that there are options that didn't exist when I had mine. Talk to your doctor about it but it's possible dilation may make you large enough to handle him or dilation shortly before having sex may open things up enough to be comfortable. Another possible is that after he enters you, he waits a minute or two before starting sex. These are things that that your doctor would know more about than I do.

3. It's also true that I'm not very puctual with my HRT schedule... I always forget to take my pills and put my estrogel... I should probably stop that though for some reason I never seem to be able to. About this cream that you are saying d you know any particular one? And if yes how often should I put it? Also the doctor adivezed me to bathe before the application of the cream!

These are creams designed to go inside your vagina producing a high level in just that area and not affecting the remainder of your body. Premarin makes one but I suspect there are lower cost ones available. In addition, there may be some available in your country that are not available here. A gynecologist should be able to help you with this and be able to watch your healing. I don't know what the dosing information is and I am not permitted to discuss it but the doctor will know that information.

When I used it, I was told to put it in before dilating and because I was still at the point of dilating more than once a day, I used it just before bed time so it would remain in place all night.

[KayXo]

There is Estrace cream, better than Premarin. 🙂

[Laura_7]

There is Estrace cream, better than Premarin. 🙂

Yes ... someone said the other one smells  🙂


hugs

[Marina M.]

- you might consider estrogen levels being high enough, well in the female range. Many endos strive for levels of 180-200 pg/ml or above.

In this thread is more:
https😕/www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209390.msg1855751.html#msg1855751

- You might look for a healthy flora in the vagina. With a healthy flora unwanted bacteria etc are kept out and the tissue should be more resilient. Many cis people are recommended to eat organic yoghurt from time to time, and to use probiotic pessaries like intrafresh or femina flora.


https😕/www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201542.msg1793097.html#msg1793097

That pill made a huge difference. I smell and taste amazing. I feel healthier down there and all over. I self-lube better. ... I swear by this product!


- after the tissue is healed you might dilate with a small dilator and coconut oil and estrogen cream from time to time to help soften the tissue. You might also use dilators of increasing size to kind of be prepared for your partner.

After the vagina is healed regular sex may help keep the vagina stretched. Until then you might consider using dilators a while before.

Imo it may need some time to rebuild a healthy vagina but it may be better afterwards.

Until then you might consider anal intercourse. There are a lot of pleasurable spots that can be stimulated, at the right angle.
I'd say just use enough lube and tell him to take it slow in the beginning.
Usually guys would be happy for the opportunity. 🙂


Talk all of this through with your doc/gyn.

hugs

Hello Laura!

Thank you so much for all the information... They are really helpful! As for the pill unfortunately I can't find it in Greece but I'll try to find something similar... Did you have any similar problems yourself?

[Marina M.]

I don't know. The surgery has change so much that there are options that didn't exist when I had mine. Talk to your doctor about it but it's possible dilation may make you large enough to handle him or dilation shortly before having sex may open things up enough to be comfortable. Another possible is that after he enters you, he waits a minute or two before starting sex. These are things that that your doctor would know more about than I do.
These are creams designed to go inside your vagina producing a high level in just that area and not affecting the remainder of your body. Premarin makes one but I suspect there are lower cost ones available. In addition, there may be some available in your country that are not available here. A gynecologist should be able to help you with this and be able to watch your healing. I don't know what the dosing information is and I am not permitted to discuss it but the doctor will know that information.

When I used it, I was told to put it in before dilating and because I was still at the point of dilating more than once a day, I used it just before bed time so it would remain in place all night.

Hello Dena!

Unfortunately my gyno doesn't know much about the issue but, since we don't have any of these creams here he suggested a pessary called vagifem, it contains estrogen and it supposed to go into the vagina to help it. Thank you for all your useful tips. I hope this works  🙁 Also right now until this wound heels I am not dilating or having sex. I'm just a bit frustrated that this keeps happenign... I feel fautly!

[Marina M.]

Yes ... someone said the other one smells  🙂


hugs

Unfortunately I can't find any of these two here. I found a pessary called vagifem! Have you ever heard of it?

[Dena]

Hello Dena!

Unfortunately my gyno doesn't know much about the issue but, since we don't have any of these creams here he suggested a pessary called vagifem, it contains estrogen and it supposed to go into the vagina to help it. Thank you for all your useful tips. I hope this works  🙁 Also right now until this wound heels I am not dilating or having sex. I'm just a bit frustrated that this keeps happenign... I feel fautly!

It might work but it comes as a tablet and you would need to retain it for several hours while it has time to work.

Don't feel faulty because this happens to CIS women as well. Sometimes after a sexual encounter they are left bleeding from the activity. For now try to relax and not worry about it until the doctor gets a look at it. You are doing everything you can for now and you will know more when the doctor sees you.

[Laura_7]

Unfortunately I can't find any of these two here. I found a pessary called vagifem! Have you ever heard of it?

It might also help.

Best might be estrace cream or a generic, which can be applied vaginally.

There also may be compounding pharmacies making estrogen creams on demand after a recipe from a gyn.
You may ask a pharmcy.

The other thing are probiotic pessaries.
Its certain strains of helpful bacteria present in cis people, which help retain a healthy flora in the vagina.
You may ask your doc/gyn when it is possible to apply, if to wait a bit until wounds heal.
Here are sources, there should be something siilar in pharmacies:
https😕/www.google.co.nz/?gws_rd=ssl#q=probiotic+pessary
Additionally eating some organic yoghurt from time to time might help.
Its also recommended for cis people to help with pos bacteria.
For experiences of other people you could read up the link in the posting above.

Talk it all through with your doc/gyn.


hugs