Though I am not mtf, I think I can relate to your situation here. Thing is once I came out as trans, I never wanted nor felt the need to switch back to girl mode. I think I might have to though, painfully, once I begin working unless I get my name and gender marker legally changed by then. Yeah, it's too painful for me to switch into something I am not. So of course you would be irritable and unhappy when you are not being the real you. I even go mute sometimes, but in my case, it is because I am not on hormones and my legal name as well as my gender marker tell people to refer to me as a female, which brings me much grief, discomfort, low self-esteem, self-hatred, anxiety, depression, and even suicide ideation. Yep, all points to gender dysphoria I guess.
