Thinking out loud

[Drexy/Drex]

These two are my favourites out of the photo's, which one do you like the best?...me I would say the first one is the winner for me

Thanks Liz yes I would say the first too  a bit of varnish and lens filter... Does wonders
the first one is 100% human hair  as is there one in the hat and bandanna  I got those off Ali express  website
big savings  on retail  the other 2 are just 16$ cheapies , the difference  in feeling  is like day and night the human hair ones are so light and comfortable and there's the bonus of being being able to style them etc
when the time is right I will look into the glue option... bit not the whole scalp  perhaps just the crown maybe

[VeronicaLynn]

I am a sentimental person so I think I will "miss" who I used to be....But at the same time, I've taken care to take many pictures and make many memories.

I actually went on a rant to myself about how I wasn't going to look at "Melanie Courtney" as a dead name....And I wasn't going to pretend like the female me never existed.

My view is, (and I know that this way different for a lot of people)....I have been Melanie Courtney for 23 years.

Every boo boo, every lesson learned, every mistake, every kiss, every hug, every family gathering, every everything to this point has made me who I am today and all of that was done as Melanie Courtney. Moving forward, the rest will be done by Steven Lee...

I don't like the idea a dead name either. The person who tried to be the boy my family wanted is me, I am not dead. I just want to be called Veronica now, as the name they gave me was all wrong for who I am. I never liked the name, but the things I did while using it were not all bad, I actually had a lot of good times and happy memories.

[Drexy/Drex]

Had my assessment  with  gender psychiatrist  today  fantastic  person follows the wpath and one of the prerequisites  is 3 mths counseling  but she took into account  my previous  counseling   so all set to go start in two weeks fingers crossed
As an aside i quit male hrt about 6 weeks ago  and as my own natural  production has been dormant for years its now very low or nonexistent. .. but i feel really good from the rising estrogen  in my system ....looks like estrogen  is the right fuel for me ....so happpy


Oh and one of my early posts i  mentioned about rle before being given hormones .....and  it was confirmed  ...imagine  that ...how cruel
thankfully  thats no longermthe case

[LizK]

Well done on the appointment...one more step completed. Do you have to do RLE before you can get HRT? I thought you were here in Australia....Have I got this mixed up...more than likely LOL, anyway it sucks if you have to do that..

[Drexy/Drex]

Thanks Liz  🙂
Yes well apparently  according to the therapist  ....yes you had to do Rle
before being granted access  to hormones back in the dark ages I think here in Australia as well
I think it would be in a very early wpath doc?
Luckly it's no longer the case as she mentioned  that it could do more damage  than good
So no I don't it just came up in discussion

[Drexy/Drex]

So got my script for progynova  just low dose atm  to see how I go.... my doc is so cool so Happy  for me to transition... Lol  teased me about how I might change alluding  to my chrome, black,  silver Goth, skull fashion.... well it is very butch I certainly get notiiced ...he didn't  want to let on too much as he said it effects  everyone differently but he is certainly  excited  ..me I'm nervous  and excited  too

[LizK]

So got my script for progynova  just low dose atm  to see how I go.... my doc is so cool so Happy  for me to transition... Lol  teased me about how I might change alluding  to my chrome, black,  silver Goth, skull fashion.... well it is very butch I certainly get notiiced ...he didn't  want to let on too much as he said it effects  everyone differently but he is certainly  excited  ..me I'm nervous  and excited  too

Wow what a great milestone...there will be no stopping you...Look out WA. I really hope you get the results you are hoping for.

Congrats

Liz

[Drexy/Drex]

Thanks Liz me too 😉

[Cindy]

Thx Liz  yes it has mainly, due to me lol but now ive  removed  the  self imposed  blocks
The best thing is no bs with this doc just straight  down the line
He actually said it was a pity I had not been caught at 15yrs old..... When  I got home and thought  about that I shed a  few tears  ,

Hugs Hon. I know way too well those tears.

[Drexy/Drex]

Cindy... thank you.... yes it's not an easy thing  , I'm lost for words atm  but I must say you are inspirational  🌹

[Cindy]

Cindy... thank you.... yes it's not an easy thing  , I'm lost for words atm  but I must say you are inspirational  🌹

I read your posts and I (try to) keep an eye on you and I although I have been having a fun time with my health I have taken delight in seeing you blossom. I loved your sunset photos and I think I may have travelled some of that land of the West (Pilbara?) over 30 years ago.

Love
Cindy

[Michelle_P]

Congratulations, Markie!  The changes I have seen in you already, over this past year, are nothing short of remarkable.

Hey, did you remember that you have your one year anniversary at Susan's Place coming up in 4 days?  Already!

And now getting HRT started!  I look forward to reading about your experience in switching your brand of rocket fuel. 🙂

Hugs, Michelle P.

[Drexy/Drex]

I read your posts and I (try to) keep an eye on you and I although I have been having a fun time with my health I have taken delight in seeing you blossom. I loved your sunset photos and I think I may have travelled some of that land of the West (Pilbara?) over 30 years ago.

Love
Cindy

Yes it is pilbara  Cindy  a place of much rugged beauty I love it up here.... thanks for that 🌞yes it has taken  a while  but with I'm getting  there  so nice for you to take  time. out.... soon I will change my name  here ....
love markie

[Drexy/Drex]

Congratulations, Markie!  The changes I have seen in you already, over this past year, are nothing short of remarkable.

Hey, did you remember that you have your one year anniversary at Susan's Place coming up in 4 days?  Already!

And now getting HRT started!  I look forward to reading about your experience in switching your brand of rocket fuel. 🙂

Hugs, Michelle P.

Thank you Michelle.... OMG.... Yes it has been I kinda knew but avoided knowing as I took a hit on what I thought was wasted time.... but no it was time I needed  to grow  wouldn't  haven't  happened  without  the input of your self and other stellar ladies  watching  yourself and Liz  and Cindy the courage  ,purpose, determination  along with the  travels of others galvanized  me to make a move. 😊
The right fuel... this will be so interesting...... Two spirits will finally become one 🌞

[Drexy/Drex]

It's  interesting  my new doc.... he,s  so excited  for me.... It was kind of strange  to go from obstructive  gate keeping to being welcomed  with open arms, I kinda understand  his excitement  because he is so Happy  to set people free.. it must be very rewarding  for him/her
when I was doing  my evaluation  with my new psychiatrist  I mentioned  that if I was a therapist  it would be fascinating to watch a male transition  to female.. She heartily agreed and on talking about woman I mentioned  how women were surperior to men as they are the template of life and that's why women make such good transmen because they are the template for human life.... She liked that 😊      Whew so refreshing so much better than banging your head against  a brick wall...
I always  knew my body would lap up estrogen  ...so for my first dose I just took half sure enough next morning    my nipples are  hard and pointy being an ex bodybuilder  I know a bit about hormones ...prob more than the average  gp as I've  used myself as a guinea pig
when I was having  my recent  lazer hair removal  my tech and I were talking about trans issues  and it came around to whether I was going to get Breast implants  I said for sure I said I would go large due to my size in my mind I thought  dd,s but she said to me I could do double F,s ...whoa  I must be bigger than I thought
its that dismorphia  thing again.... well my nickname at work is "Viking " after the techno Viking

https😕/www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dIUM4LRVsE

it's funny though  my dress code is very loud but I never get any flak about it and it kind of liberates others to do their own thing.. these isolated  small population  camps lend themselves  to some interesting  social experiments 😄

As an aside in 2016 my T was 2126 and is now 473 ng/dl
and my e was 173.5 and is now 6.5 pg/ml
from that I can see that the mind is where it happens  its not just a hormonal desire

[Drexy/Drex]

What I do in the back of beyond 


https😕/www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&noapp=1&v=Pu8xK-2P524

Hmm don't know what happened  to video size?

[Drexy/Drex]

So nearly into a moth  of low dose and im  definitely  feeling it and my body is changing  even on low dose the pecs are starting  to morph  pretty  soon I won't be able to wear a singlet at the gym,  my eye lashes have grown considerably, but the most notable  thing is my mind...  I feel calm kinda passive  but if in a confronting situation  I would be calm  rather than aggressive more likely to deal with it intelligently then belligerently,
I feel a kind of warmth towards others and I smile a lot more and seem to connect  with others better
I just feel happier  in myself
One thing I've noticed is that I find men less gross  then before its weird....

[LizK]

So nearly into a moth  of low dose and im  definitely  feeling it and my body is changing  even on low dose the pecs are starting  to morph  pretty  soon I won't be able to wear a singlet at the gym,  my eye lashes have grown considerably, but the most notable  thing is my mind...  I feel calm kinda passive  but if in a confronting situation  I would be calm  rather than aggressive more likely to deal with it intelligently then belligerently,
I feel a kind of warmth towards others and I smile a lot more and seem to connect  with others better
I just feel happier  in myself
One thing I've noticed is that I find men less gross  then before its weird....

It is weird how HRT impacts us, For me it was the quietening of my dysphoria that made all the difference...I am glad to hear you are getting such positive results...Got your other pics...I am still writing a reply

[LizK]

What I do in the back of beyond 


https😕/www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&noapp=1&v=Pu8xK-2P524

Hmm don't know what happened  to video size?

Was that you talking right at the end of the vid?

[Drexy/Drex]

Was that you talking right at the end of the vid?

Thanks Liz,..., for me too there's been a noticable reduction  of back ground  noise in my mind
Yes that's me talking... I will be seeing  a voice therapist  in future
Plus voice  surgery  in Bangkok... so much to do