Hello from Izzy

[IzzyM]

Hi,

I discovered recently that my name is Isabelle, but call me Izzy or Dizzy which is how I mostly feel at the moment.  I am 51 and live just outside London, but grew up in Bonny Scotland.

I was going to say that I feel like I am at the start of a journey, but when I look back at my life I realise that I was on the journey, I just kept taking the wrong turns and getting lost.  That doesn't mean that I know which way I should be going now, that's one of the reasons I turned up here hoping someone can help point me in the right direction, or to even find friends who I could travel with.

[Megan.]

Hi and welcome 😊. I'm a UK girl in Bedfordshire. You don't say which side of London you are, but if you're to the north, there is a great group called Diamonds in Cambridge that meet every Thursday at a pub, and I'm often there. On direction, that depends on what you might want, and talking with a therapist, if you haven't already, might help with that. Your GP can refer you to a gender clinic if you feel you need support for a full or partial transition, but the process is a long one, so it won't hurt to start that early while you still explore your own feelings. Re. Travel, I'm always up for getting lost in foreign places haha.

[IzzyM]

Hi Megan,

Thanks for the reply and welcome. I don't know what I want yet but I am on the east side of London so Cambridge is a bit out of my way. I am trying to pluck up the courage to speak to a therapist, it is odd how it is easier to post on a site like this to thousands of people rather than talk to someone face to face.  But this is my first step.  As for talking to my family doctor that will be another big step for which I need to find lots of courage.

Izzy

[Megan.]

In my case I sought out a therapist first, even before talking with my GP. That gave me a safe place to talk in person for the very first time to someone else about my feelings, and explore them. The PinkTherapy site has a listing of LGBT friendly therapists, if you contact someone, do ask if them if they have previous experience with Trans* people.
I remember taking several weeks to pluck up the courage to contact my therapist, but they have been a rock for me for more than 2 years now, it's all confidential.

[bluepaint]

Nice to meet you Izzy! Isabelle is a beautiful name, when we are trans, I do believe that we choose a name that best reflects who we are! Im from across the pond, here in Canada! Im just a smidgen older lol being all of 53 now ( ughh!) myself!  I actually had my GCS in London ( London Bridge Hospital) not too far from you then, I had to stay a few weeks after with some friends, well my spiritual sisters actually , in a convent in East Essex, it was a lovely place! I hope one day to return to visit more on a more relaxed note!
I was lucky enough to have a family doctor who was more accepting, who I had as a physician and who knew me as I started my transition, he referred me to the local hospital here in Ottawa where there were therapists that I could see, I was assigned a very supportive psychologist who then helped guide me through my first few steps!   I think when we reach out , at first , we tend to be scared , it is very personal and its something we've had to keep to ourselves all or most of our lives so we think its a rather big deal at first but once we find some guidance from a qualified therapist, it really make that road much less stressful! I have since learned that when we are true to ourselves, then the direction of our lives become clearer and the journey much less full of wrong turns!
Blessing! Julie



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[Jacqueline]

Hi Izzy,

Welcome to the site. I am about a year older and only came to accept this life about a year ago. I would greatly encourage visiting a therapist. They are very helpful for safely guiding one through the maze of our discoveries.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

[Cure Bunny]

Hello Izzy

How are you?

It is nice to meet you.


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[Janes Groove]

Welcome to the club. And cheers!

[Selenakyle]

Welcome to the site!  Hi! 

[V M]

Hi Izzy 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[laurel88]

Hi Izzy, Welcome 

[IzzyM]

Thanks to everyone for such a warm and wonderful welcome and thanks for the advice about seeking out a therapist.

The name I chose is a special one as it is the name my parents would have given me if I had been born with the right body.  Not that my parents know anything about the real me.

My worry about my family doctor is not about how understanding they might be but about the fact the staff in the surgery are neighbours and family friends. It might be a silly fear but I don't people to find out about me because they read it in a file in their office.  This may just be me being paranoid but fear is a big part of how I am feeling right now.  My biggest fear is the fear of how what I am going through will impact those I love.

[Megan.]

Just remember you can go as fast or slow as you're comfortable with. Your GP and their staff are bound by confidentiality, but you could always go to a different GP clinic initially or ask your GP not to record anything specific on the system. Impact on others was and still is (on my kids) my greatest concern too. But I came to realise that it's not selfish to want to be happy in myself and honest with people, we only seek what most cisgender people have had their entire life!

[IzzyM]

Thanks Megan,

I'm married with 2 boys and they are my main concern at the moment.  Finding a site like this that allows me to talk through my feelings is helping but I will look for a therapist in the New Year.

Izzy

[DawnOday ✅]

The first thing my Doctor did was ask how I wanted to be addressed. Immediately my name was changed to Dawn and I am listed as transitioning. I really appreciated they went out of their way to make me comfortable in my own skin, for the first time I can remember.

[IzzyM]

Hi Dawn,

I don't know that he wouldn't, he may have dealt with a lot of transgender people in his career, and I wish I could confident that my doctor could be as supportive as yours was.  But I need ask where that was?  It is my impression that there are differences in how the medical establishment responds across the globe.  There are probably cultural differences to transgender people in the street I live.

But I live in hope that it will get better,

Izzy

[IzzyM]

PS I can't tell you how much I appreciate everyone talking to me

and apparently I have to say yes to being human, because you know sometimes I do feel like I come from another planet......

[Dena]

It might be a silly fear but I don't people to find out about me because they read it in a file in their office.

My first programming job was writing a medical billing system for a doctor. From time to time I needed to pull information from a patient file so I was permitted to look at the paper files. There were two big reasons for not looking at any more information than I needed.
1. I couldn't think of anything more boring that reading about a total strangers ache and pains.
2. The doctors handwriting was totally illegible.

[Cindy ✅]

It might be a silly fear but I don't people to find out about me because they read it in a file in their office.

My first programming job was writing a medical billing system for a doctor. From time to time I needed to pull information from a patient file so I was permitted to look at the paper files. There were two big reasons for not looking at any more information than I needed.
1. I couldn't think of anything more boring that reading about a total strangers ache and pains.
2. The doctors handwriting was totally illegible.

Reminds me of a doctors strike for more pay