Hello Everyone new here...

[Calisto]

      Hi Id like to tell everyone a little bit about myself. I'm a 36 year old genetic male and ever since I was probably 10 or 11 years old I started having fantasies of being a girl. I thought Wow they are so beautiful I wish I looked like that. I hated how i looked and was very self conscious about it. I wanted to change who i was how i looked but buried it very deep instead. I lived my life in denial for my entire life until the July of 2015 when something inside me said enough of this lie.

      I spoke with my wife about this and well i'll just say it didn't go as well as I would have liked. Although she did not understand felt betrayed as if i was lying to her the whole time she still supported and continues to be my only source of support through this transition.

      I was not lying to her I was lying to myself this whole time...Nevertheless unfortunately we will be getting a divorce sometime in the near future. I will always have a deep love and respect for her and she feels the same. She didn't have any idea about this when we got together so i guess i really can't blame her for making the decision to divorce. What get's me through is the thought that we had a great run, It was undeniably the greatest part of my life. I only hope the next chapter is great if not better....

      I am currently only able to take herbals but FINALLY!! there is a doctor who is offering transgender services in Duluth, MN. I just found out about this last week. After waiting for over a year I can finely get the hormones to change my outer self a bit closer to my inner..

       Before I found this DR. it would have been impossible to make it to all the appts. due to the time constraints and distance of over 350 miles. I actually cried when i saw that there was someone providing these services in northern minnesota.... well  that's about it for now Iv'e got an appt on feb 10th to talk about getting on hormone therapy let the journey begin..................

       

[V M]

Hi Calisto 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[MissGendered]

Congratulations. Calisto!

Best of luck on your journey, hun...

Missy

[Calisto]

      Wow just read your story hun.  I couldn't imagine how hard that was for you. I'm sorry if people have treated you badly there is no excuse for that. I did the whole over compensate thing kids lumberjack beard construction for the majority of my life. I'm all done living for anyone else's reality. I to was abused from a very young age though mine wasn't violent it was sexual and mental. any form of abuse is intolerable!!!!! I wish that more people could understand how there actions really affect people... I can only hope to regroup and be myself hopefully when im ready someday ill find another woman/transgender who will treat me with love and respect....

[MissGendered]

Thank you, hun, but I am pretty much okay now, just a few things left to get straight in my head and body, but I am fine, usually. Kinda digging into some hard stuff these last few days, but otherwise, yeah, i'm good. Just celebrated my two year anniversary with Doc Brassard, so heck yeah, things are darn good, actually...

But this is YOUR thread, where you get to celebrate your new beginning, and that kinda thing always makes me glad!

happy, happy!!

Missy

[Janes Groove]

Hi Calisto. Welcome to the club.  And congratulations on finally finding a Doctor to provide you with what sounds like much needed transgender care.

[Cure Bunny]

Hello Calisto

I know it is hard, but you are taking steps to be yourself.

I am a little worried that you are self medicating, I know you want results but it can be very dangerous.

Be safe.


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[Calisto]

I will be done with self meds as soon as i can get treatment from a dr. with conventional meds

   I think that if i had a migrane headache and no store was around i would definatly be looking into some birchbark tea lol hope the dr visit goes well and not to long of a wait period for hrt. im looking forward to having levels checked and monitored as they should be but like i said when no other options are available a starving person will eat just about anything to fill a void ....... just thinking out loud wish there were more avenues for proper treatment available then people wouldnt have to resort to self treatment at all..........

[Arianna Valentine]

Just wanted to stop in and say welcome to Susan's Place.  I have only been here a little time myself but it is truly a wonderful place with so much knowledge and wonderfully kind, generous and best of all you can find answers from people that have been through it all i imagine. With that said hello from myself and my other personality Arianna. 

[Cure Bunny]

I will be done with self meds as soon as i can get treatment from a dr. with conventional meds

   I think that if i had a migrane headache and no store was around i would definatly be looking into some birchbark tea lol hope the dr visit goes well and not to long of a wait period for hrt. im looking forward to having levels checked and monitored as they should be but like i said when no other options are available a starving person will eat just about anything to fill a void ....... just thinking out loud wish there were more avenues for proper treatment available then people wouldnt have to resort to self treatment at all..........

I hope your visit goes well.

Stay safe


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