In Eloquence
(Written January 9th, 2017)
In Eloquence
I walk behind myself, watching.
I see what is there, as well as what should not be.
I shake my head, clearing the smoke from my mind's eye.
I see the tracks left behind, carefully crafted to fit every step.
I feel the pain of taking some of those steps, and the drain of others.
I look back behind me, and realize i've been climbing for a long time.
I consider that maybe I should climb for me, instead of everyone else.
I check the cards, cast the bones, ask the stars. They say Yes. I say Yes.
I see myself standing, still, wondering what I'm thinking.
I wonder if it's even possible to explain the differences in us.
I think to myself that He/She/They just don't sum up my thoughts.
I shed my skin, a day at a time, and watch myself walk.
I reflect that each day, we look a little less like each other, though we are the same person.
I think this is no bad thing. I know this is no bad thing.
I notice that each step separates us more, yet binds us closer together.
I always follow myself, hiding when I need to, and pushing forward when I think I can.
I forget that I'd forgotten.
I remember.
I am finally able to look in the mirror made of my soul, and see myself rising from the Abyss.
I find it amusing that I am not scared.
I see her/me rising up, oh so ever slowly.
I wait to touch her, grasping hands together.
I look at my old form, faded in the corner.
I don't hate him, but I'm glad that I can now Be!
I hope he finds some rest in the corners of my mind; I wore him for all my life, as a Shadow does.
I know we are the same, but yet we are different.
I see that, even know, I would be a different man than I am, if I were to.
I embrace this part of me that kept me alive for so long.
I feel us slide against each other, different enough not to latch on, now.
I am reminded of peter pan, but I will sew myself to a new body.
I understand that it's a work in progress; what isn't?
I am glad to finally have the right *me* to shadow.
I walk behind myself, watching.
In Eloquence
