A modest proposal to bring about trans awareness...

[Hazumu]

One of the issues the fundamentalist right used to buttress their arguments against ENDA was the emotional argument about keeping penises out of the ladies' room (but, of course, the corollary argument about keeping vaginas out of the mens' room was never mentioned.)  Based on the Lynn Conway numbers of 1-in-500 males being a transgender presenting as female, there are many more of us that are using the gender-appropriate facilities than the FundeVangelists realize.

My proposal is to change that perception in a fairly direct but unobtrusive and not-too-threatening way.

First Get a copy of the Transgender Pride flag.  Then, print the design repeatedly on a sheet of Avery REMOVABLE ID labels #6461 (1'x2-5/8")  Now you have 30 little TG flags, and you can cut each row in half to make 60.  Remember, these need to be REMOVABLE -- we don't want to be disobedient...

Next, with a supply in your purse, whenever you use the restroom in a public place that you're visiting, leave one of the REMOVABLE flag stickers on the partition.

I charge the trans-males to do this also.

You should not do it at a restroom you regularly frequent.  Either you're out, and everybody knows, or you're not and they will soon find (and perhaps confront) you.  Places such as malls, movie theaters and restaurants you only occasionally frequent should be the best bet.

Step 2 -- encourage as many of your trans acquaintances to do this also.

Step 3.  Do NOT tell the fundies.  Try to see how big we can grow this before the fundies and other 'normal' people figure out what those pink-and-blue striped symbols really mean.

The goals is to show that we trans are there, in the stall next to them.  And maybe it will weaken the argument that allowing penises into the ladies' room is dangerous and a slippery slope which must be avoided at all costs.

Karen

[Sheila]

Karen,
  I think that is a wonderful idea. I think that it should be known what the flags mean. Then when a fundy goes into the restroom they will see that Kilroy was there. You know if there is a lot of them around town then it might get the attencion of the media as to how many are really out there and did child molestation go up. It would be something to watch and to find out how long it would take for the media to respond. I know in Eugene there was a person who made little signs and posted them on poles and stop signs all over the city. They were signs that had little sayings on them like be good to your husband or wife. Stop and think or take your time. They were all over the city and they were done by some one anonymous. The paper track them down and found out who they were and there was a big article about it.
Sheila

[Kate]

It'll make TSs look like arrogant activists IMHO, leaving behind an impression of, "We snuck in here, got away with it, and you can't stop us! Ha ha ha..."

And it just reinforces the "they have an agenda and must be stopped!" reputation the fundies constantly rant about.

IMHO, people should be able to pee in peace without being confronted with political activism in the bathroom.

~Kate~

[Lori]

I'm with Kate on this one. I  dont go into bathrooms to do activism. I wished we could leave "penises" out of this. Penises are what men have and they don't belong in women's restrooms. Until I get my elongated clit inverted, I'll just go in and do my business and leave the stickers at home for the kids.

Women don't need to worry about who is going to leave a sticker behind....and ugly GG women don't need any more harrassment getting clocked as TS because other women are afraid of more stickers appearing. I think this is a really bad idea and I wished TS would be a little more aware of others feelings and understand that perception is more important than what is on the inside. Regardless of whether that is right or not...its how it is. Forcing others to accept and put up is just going to cause more animosity if they dont want to share a bathroom with a man. If you cannot pass...pee at home. If you have a penis and are proud of it, then use the mens bathroom. If you are a lady..then act like one and stop thinking with "your penis".

[HelenW]

I heard a quote the other day, "Well behaved women rarely make history."

It'll make TSs look like arrogant activists IMHO, leaving behind an impression of, "We snuck in here, got away with it, and you can't stop us! Ha ha ha..."

Well, you know, maybe we need more arrogant activists to make up for those who wish to just blend in and disappear.  I will not judge those who do - it is a personal choice and an important one - and I'll be going to the store as soon as I can to get some stickers.

We need to make our presence felt!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Kate]

I heard a quote the other day, "Well behaved women rarely make history."

I'm not interested in making history though. Just the opposite in fact. I want to be a non-event.

Well, you know, maybe we need more arrogant activists to make up for those who wish to just blend in and disappear.  I will not judge those who do - it is a personal choice and an important one - and I'll be going to the store as soon as I can to get some stickers.

And I'll pull them off whenever I see them. Vandalizing the safe place of a women's bathroom isn't an appropriate expression of political activism, IMHO.

We need to make our presence felt!

*I* do NOT want "my presence felt." This is exactly OPPOSITE of what I'm about. I transitioned to be ordinary, no one special, just Kate... not to be a WE or a community spooking genetic women in public bathrooms with mysterious stickers.

I do try to respect that some people do identify as TSs, and are proud to proclaim it to the world. But I have to admit it all just strengthens my resolve to distance myself as much as possible from all this. It's like watching a gang war, where the only real *personal* solution is to just Walk Away...

~Kate~

[Nero]

While I love your spirit and determination, Karen, I must strongly advise against this. The general public simply don't comprehend us yet. We don't want to raise a panic. It will only cause resentment. People don't appreciate having political or religious agendas shoved down their throat.

[Lori]

*I* do NOT want "my presence felt." This is exactly OPPOSITE of what I'm about. I transitioned to be ordinary, no one special, just Kate... not to be a WE or a community spooking genetic women in public bathrooms with mysterious stickers.

I do try to respect that some people do identify as TSs, and are proud to proclaim it to the world. But I have to admit it all just strengthens my resolve to distance myself as much as possible from all this. It's like watching a gang war, where the only real *personal* solution is to just Walk Away...

~Kate~

Exactly how I feel. I want to be part of a group..women. I don't want to be part of a special group of semi  women. Any groups I'm part of as a woman may be the PTA, neighborhood association or something along those lines. I know many say I'll be nothing more than a TS the rest of my life..but that is your opinion. If you want to be a TS the rest of your life..then be one but don't tell me I have to be.

We are not owed womanhood. We must earn it and doing this is such a bad idea in my book and if I have to choose sides on this, I side with other women, not TS.

[Cindi Jones]

I think the best approach is to keep transgenderism in the news, keep activism in the politicla arena alive, and continue to be the shining examples of humanity that most of us already are.

It's a slow process.  I can't tell you how far we've come in the two decades since I started transition.  I is amazing.  But there's still a long way to go.  In a couple generations, this may no longer be considered the plague that it is today.  Rather, we'll be able to deal wth it in a constructive way and improve people's lives.

Cindi

[tinkerbell]

*I* do NOT want "my presence felt." This is exactly OPPOSITE of what I'm about. I transitioned to be ordinary, no one special, just Kate... not to be a WE or a community spooking genetic women in public bathrooms with mysterious stickers.

I do try to respect that some people do identify as TSs, and are proud to proclaim it to the world. But I have to admit it all just strengthens my resolve to distance myself as much as possible from all this. It's like watching a gang war, where the only real *personal* solution is to just Walk Away...

~Kate~

Ditto.  I'm also with Kate on this one.  I go to the ladie's room because I am a woman and have every right to use that restroom.  IOW I don't think of myself as someone who is "sneaking" into women's spaces.  As I said on another thread, I don't consider myself to be special, odd or extraordinary either.  I am just a girl like the zillions of other women who were born with XX chromosomes and the right set of genitals. So there, the fairy princess has spoken...

tink

[Hazumu]

And it just reinforces the "they have an agenda and must be stopped!" reputation the fundies constantly rant about.

We DO have an agenda.  That's what the fundies keep telling us.  So let's show them an agenda.

Karen

Posted on: November 11, 2007, 10:03:54 PM

While I love your spirit and determination, Karen, I must strongly advise against this. The general public simply don't comprehend us yet. We don't want to raise a panic. It will only cause resentment. People don't appreciate having political or religious agendas shoved down their throat.

THEY are the ones who say we are 'shoving it down their throats'.  I really want to do nothing of the kind.  And I don't want to make penises an issue.  But I see no other way to get movement on this issue.  I have realized that the fundies' 'complaints' -- 'shoving it down our throats', 'men in dresses in the women's bathroom', etc, -- are really challenges -- dares.  They are DARING us to 'shove it down their throats'.  READ their writings, and consider every thing they say we are doing to be a dare for us to do it, then figure out how to do it without being totally in-your-face with it.  They say we 'have an agenda'?  Let's give 'em an agenda.  A politely worded but adamant agenda of nothing more than -- nor less than -- equality.

The stickers are very non-violent, but a way to let them know that we are out there.  Right now they think we are very few in number.  If it becomes a regular event to see Transgender stickers in restrooms in the mall or airport or movie theater, our numbers will be finally noticed.

There may be a backlash.  And we may never make any real progress towards equality without it.

Or we can just go back to being meek and trying not to be labeled as activists with an agenda and let them put us in the closet...

Karen

Posted on: November 11, 2007, 10:15:47 PM

Ditto.  I'm also with Kate on this one.  I go to the ladie's room because I am a woman and have every right to use that restroom.  IOW I don't think of myself as someone who is "sneaking" into women's spaces.  As I said on another thread, I don't consider myself to be special, odd or extraordinary either.  I am just a girl like the zillions of other women who were born with XX chromosomes and the right set of genitals. So there, the fairy princess has spoken...

tink

Tink, I have every right to be there, too.  But Trans inclusion in ENDA was stalled, STALLED over the bathroom issue.

This does not take much to do.  Leave a sticker.  A REMOVABLE sticker.  Let the fundies figure out what's going on on their own -- don't tell them.  There are also many people who do NOT share the fundies' viewpoint, who won't freak out that an anonymous-but-well-behaved trans-woman has used the same space they used with no incident other than a baby-pink-and-baby-blue sticker left in remembrance of a five-minute visit.  And those non-fundies will become our allies.

I, too, want to be treated as just another woman in access to employment, in housing, and in access to a place to pee.  But right now, the fundies are playing the fear factor.  And winning.

Go ahead and play stealth, but I believe it will ultimately not advance our achieving the same 'special rights' that just about every other group from White Males out already have -- the right to be judged on our merits, not our 'morally correct' presentation.  If Real ID becomes fact, many of us will be exposed each time we board an airplane, open a bank account, or apply for a job, anyway

I will NOT wait for it to happen.

Karen

[Enigma]

I'm not trying to make a political statement when I pee, I'm just trying to take care of a basic need.  I also agree with earlier posts about invading the safe space of the restroom, male or female, to make a political statement.

To each his own, but I just want to be accepted as a woman.  I'm having a hard enough time doing that with myself, I'm not about to put any more barriers between me and the rest of the world and their acceptance.

Being TS is a means to an end, its not an identity.

[Shana A]

THEY are the ones who say we are 'shoving it down their throats'.  I really want to do nothing of the kind.  And I don't want to make penises an issue.  But I see no other way to get movement on this issue.  I have realized that the fundies' 'complaints' -- 'shoving it down our throats', 'men in dresses in the women's bathroom', etc, -- are really challenges -- dares. 

I wonder what the fundies would do if all the "men in dresses" went to the bathroom labeled M  >

y2g

[Enigma]

THEY are the ones who say we are 'shoving it down their throats'.  I really want to do nothing of the kind.  And I don't want to make penises an issue.  But I see no other way to get movement on this issue.  I have realized that the fundies' 'complaints' -- 'shoving it down our throats', 'men in dresses in the women's bathroom', etc, -- are really challenges -- dares. 

I wonder what the fundies would do if all the "men in dresses" went to the bathroom labeled M  >

y2g

I think therein lies the problem.

Not everyone is guilty of this, but I think a number of people are motivated by the shock value of what they're doing (dressed as female, look male) using really any bathroom at all.  Generally people are feeling about their most vulnerable when they use a public restroom. Even a "passing" trans, why else the old debates about constantly flushing while you're peeing so no one can "hear you pee like a male".

I don't think attacking their vulnerablities is a way to gain their acceptance.  I've already said I want to be accepted as a woman, so maybe this is just academic for me, but nothing we can ever do will _make_ them accept us.  A "Man in a dress" flaunting using the restroom certainly isn't going to change their mind.  As someone else pointed out, subjecting our allies to undue scrutiny for using a public restroom is only going to cause us to loose ground.

[Kate]

I wonder what the fundies would do if all the "men in dresses" went to the bathroom labeled M  >

Oh I love it!!!

Let's have a National Use The Bathroom Appropriate To Your Birth Sex Day!

Give 'em *exactly* what they want! Can you IMAGINE?? THAT would make the point for sure.

No, I don't really mean it. But it IS an ironic thought. Give 'em what they think they want to prove to them they DON'T want it.

~Kate~

[Shana A]

A "Man in a dress" flaunting using the restroom certainly isn't going to change their mind.  As someone else pointed out, subjecting our allies to undue scrutiny for using a public restroom is only going to cause us to loose ground.

I meant it tongue in cheek, but seriously, where do I go to the bathroom? I have male body, not that I'm happy about that , if I happen to be wearing a dress, but still appear male, I do need to be able to use a restroom.

Oh I love it!!!

Let's have a National Use The Bathroom Appropriate To Your Birth Sex Day!

Hmmmm, the acronym is NUT-BATY-BS-Day  >

Zythyra

[Enigma]

I meant it tongue in cheek, but seriously, where do I go to the bathroom? I have male body, not that I'm happy about that , if I happen to be wearing a dress, but still appear male, I do need to be able to use a restroom.

There are an increasing number of "family" restrooms that eliminate the herd aspect of using a public restroom.  While I wouldn't push someone in a wheelchair out of the way, many handicapped bathrooms are also set up to be used by a single person.

I realize it puts additional pressure on us just to take care of a basic need, but the alternative involves mall security, etc.

The only other option is to plan ahead and um "go" at home.

[Dennis]

My god that's an ugly flag. Couldn't we have a nice one like the rainbow? Even the SM flag is nicer than ours.

Sometimes raising visibility does raise backlash. And this would raise visibility in a hot-button area and could lead to some violent backlash against people who didn't choose to be in the spotlight. I think it's too early in the battle to do this, although it's a good idea in theory. I just think the risk, and not only to yourself, but to an innocent third party, is too high. I wouldn't want someone's beating on my conscience.

Dennis

[Butterfly]

~laugh~ what is this?  the mark of the beast?.  dont you think it only reinforces the idea that trans girls are "invading" the ladie's toilets? I don't think it's a good idea.  It's in fact a horrid idea! Sorry Karen.  Nothing personal.  I don't want to use the ladies toilets as "a favour".  I use the ladies toilets because I'm entitled to using it as any other woman is.  No flags, no special treatment, no favours from gg's or cisgeder peeps.  I have nothing to ask from them.

[Ell]

oh, hi Karen. how are you?

i also think the plan could really backfire.

and um, you should use quotes for "A Modest Proposal"

-ell