"Go and get therapy to make you happy with being male"

[Hypatia]

How many of us have been told this? Somewhere these mythical creatures--therapists who will un-trans us--are rumored to exist. Not that anyone giving me this advice has ever produced concrete evidence of their existence. So I consider them to have a status somewhere between Bigfoot and unicorns, unless anyone can prove that they do exist.

Not that the transphobes in my family who make this demand of me have any connection with reality when it comes to this subject. Like "Don't change your body to conform to your mind--instead, why don't you change your mind to conform to your body?" Yeah, right. 

What I would like is a cite to prove that anti-trans therapy does not work, in fact it is likely to be very harmful (even to the point of suicide), and therefore professional ethics preclude anyone practicing such "therapy." Are there any published studies on the failure rate of attempts to un-trans people? So that this ignorant mythology can be finally put to rest with a stake through its heart?

I found this article which is an opinion piece rather than scientific research, but it has more on where I'm coming from - http://www.lauras-playground.com/exodus_reparative%20transgendered.htm

[Terra]

That's ok, I was told by a therapist in the navy (Captain rank) that all I needed to do was have a good roll in the hay to 'cure' me.

I think that was the day I realized that the world really knew jack about who we are and what this is.

[Hazumu]

Try the Conversion Therapy article at wikipedia.  As you are a 'super-homosexual', it should work just fine...  >

-K

[HelenW]

http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/resolution97.html

This link shows the text published by the American Psychological Association in 1997 which outlines their position on reparative therapy for sexual orientation.  They do not have one for gender identity disorders because GID is still considered a treatable disorder, treatable through transition.

The so called reparative therapists all still confuse GID with homosexuality so they think they can cure it using the same oppressive and coercive methods they use on gay and lesbian people.  The intention and results are the same however.  Some people, with the help of these therapies, may be able to repress their needs for awhile longer.  Many of us here were able to do this for many years on our own.  My theory is that others, who claim to be cured of being transsexual, didn't really have full blown GID and had some other psychological issues whose symptoms included crossdressing and wanting to be the other gender.  For most victims of reparative therapy the results are further damage to their psyche and soul.

I believe Lynn Conway's site and/or the T Roadmap have links to statements from medical personnel (WPATH?) and the like which maintain the only way to treat real GID is through transition.  The Ex-gay Watch website might have some more research published.

Of course, transition means something different for everyone so please don't misconstrue my statements to mean that full gender transition is the right thing for everyone.

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[OtokoSuki]

I have been told this and how its supposed to "cure" the "condition"...I despise it everytime I hear it...

[Sandy]

Therapy and therapists, to my mind are to help you cope with who you are.  They are not supposed to "cure" you.

You must cure yourself.  They can provide guidance but unlike the medical profession where it is just a matter of taking the curative drugs or medical procedure where being cured happens without your intervention.  In issues of mental state, the therapist can not cure you at all.

In the case of being trans, the therapist can help you understand why you have these feelings but cannot "give you a shot" to prevent you from having them.  Likewise they can help you understand that your depression, guilt, self-loathing, may stem from your need to transition but for whatever reason are unable to proceed.

But in all of this the patient is the one who does all the work, not the therapist.

In my opinion those "therapists" that claim to be able to cure homosexuality, GID, or dandruff are charlatans (I'm being charitable)  and all they seem to do is force the victim of the "therapy" into unnatural behavior patterns through repetitive emotional abuse.  Sometimes the abuse is physical in that they may deprive the victim of sleep, water or food in order to coerce their point of view.  If any of these quacks have a degree that didn't come out of a diploma website, I would be surprised.

This type of therapy was called de-programming in earlier years when parents would abduct their children who had joined various cults and the parents were abhorred to see their children walking around in orange saris soliciting money from strangers at airports.

Now I am referring to those conditions that are not anti-social in nature or harm themselves or others.  In those cases then the intervention must consist of a combination of medical and psychiatric care.  I am not talking about the Branch Dividians or those poor demented souls who committed suicide to send their spirit to the mother ship behind Haleys comet.

To try to say that being homosexual or transsexual is in anyway like those people is truly wrong.  If you think about it, it is society that has a problem with transsexuality and homosexuality, not us!

-Sandy (Female with a transsexual condition and damn proud of it!)

[Kate]

How many of us have been told this?

My family thinks my therapist is "coercing" me into this, and demanded to talk to her. I refused.

And they suggested that I take testosterone to "feel more like a man." I pointed out that my testosterone (before HRT) was actually HIGH for a male. Didn't help. Sorry.

~Kate~

[Hypatia]

Actually, I was going to ask my therapist if he wouldn't mind talking to my Mom... Probably no use since they accuse him of manipulating me to make me think I'm trans. So stupid.

My one friend's ex-wife used to be a husband with a wife and kids. She went to therapy for years and put herself through hell trying desperately to exorcise the TS demon with dangerous psych drugs, aversion therapy, ELECTROSHOCK... she was that desperate. Eventually, of course, she realized the futility and harm of this, and transitioned. She is such a beautiful woman today. But the harm she did herself trying to de-trans doesn't heal easily. And she's a psychiatrist herself. I'm going to ask her to relate her sad story to my Mom to get across that what's being demanded of me is a seriously bad idea.

[Patroklos]

My parents have been encouraging me to go to therapy not as a means to enable my transition (which is why I've requested seeing a sex therapist) but as a way to convince me that I really can just be a girl. -_-

[Marlene]

Therapy and therapists, to my mind are to help you cope with who you are.  They are not supposed to "cure" you.

You must cure yourself.

Agreed.  It all starts with self-acceptance.


Isn't it funny that our parents told us "It's what's inside that counts" when we were young, but when you come out they argue just the opposite?

[Dennis]

I don't need therapy to be happy being male. I'm perfectly happy being a man.



Dennis

[NicholeW.]

LOL Nor do I to 'be female.'

There are large bodies of evidence that show that so-called reparative therapies do, indeed, work. Any "therapy' that involves excruciating wrenching of someone's 'self' and accompanies that with types of torture and manipulation that are barred from use in warfare can certainly change a person's orientation to the world. In fact, some don't even need so much. Look up "Stockholm Syndrome." All it really takes is a couple of weeks of being totally dependent on someone else to 'not kill me.'

'Reparative' therapies are torture. Their practitioners should be prosecuted criminally for what they do. Just as the military is currently prosecuting the 'reparative therapists' who practiced at Baghdad's Abu Graib prison.

[HelenW]

There are large bodies of evidence that show that so-called reparative therapies do, indeed, work.

I have not seen any of that evidence, at least not from any kind of disinterested, purely scientific source.

I think these so called therapies do nothing to help except give people incentives to continue supressing their true selves.  It won't change the orientation, it will just change its expression.  That's why the American Psychological Association, along with all other reputable medical experts (read: not NARTH) call reparative therapy ineffective to the point of actually being harmful.

Perhaps, if we are told to find a therapist to accommodate ourselves to others we should counter with the suggestion that they, rather, should find a therapist who could help them be less narrow minded.  I think that would work very much better.

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Hypatia]

I wrote to the American Psychiatric Association to ask about reparative therapy for transsexuals. The reply I got directed me to their position paper against reparative therapy for homosexuals. Here is the .pdf of it: http://www.psych.org/edu/other_res/lib_archives/archives/200001.pdf

I answered that's great, but sexual orientation is not the same thing as transsexualism. Do you have anything specifically about trans? No reply. They don't have anything on us. I know a psychiatrist who is a trans lady, and as far as she is concerned the APA is an enemy. She is not a member because she feels being a member would leave her open to disciplinary action inspired by people who do not like her gender change. My other trans friend wrote to me: "Note that it was homosexuality NOT GID that was removed from the DSM in 1973. The Gay and Lesbian Caucus of the APA exists largly to protect gay and lesbian members from more conservative persons in the organization. Remember it is politics and a lot of shrinks are image conscious."

[Keira]

Even in psychologist circles, GID is slowly moving out of being considered as a mental illness.
At least that's what my psychologist told me. She told the mentality has changed immensely in
the last 15 years.

[Marlene]

Even in psychologist circles, GID is slowly moving out of being considered as a mental illness.
At least that's what my psychologist told me. She told the mentality has changed immensely in
the last 15 years.

"Transgender Emergence" by Arlene Istar Lev is an excellent text for open minded therapists.  Chock full of information and well documented, this book is a must have intro for therapists (and any of us curious folks as well).

That said there are still plenty of quacks out there.  If they haven't heard of the Benjamin Standards of Care OR if they say they can cure you, I would advise you to find another therapist.