I am curious. During that nine months you were on hormones, did you lose sexual function? I ask only because I've been on HRT for a year and the only thing I have lost is the ability to produce seminal fluid. Other than that, things work pretty much the same way they always have.
Which begs the question -- is the sex really the only thing holding the two of you together? And is she really afraid of losing that, or does she know how much you like sex with her and is she using it as leverage to hold up or stop your transition?
Because there is nothing that says you have to undergo reassignment surgery. But beyond that, I think you need to take a serious look at what is really going on with your relationship. Frankly, I think you should prioritize your own mental health, because if no one else is going to be good to you, then you need to be good to you.
