Resources for accepting your lover as trans

[ErosNightleaf]

My girlfriend is having a hard time with the fact that I want to be a girl. Are there any videos or other things I can share with her so she can understand it more?

[elkie-t]

I don't think roots of her difficulties to accept you lay in the lack of information. I think she might be scared of the social reaction to you and her. In my opinion no internet link can fulfill what meeting with other wives and girlfriends and psychologists can do. She needs an ear (and many) to voice her concerns and be heard and given an advice from different perspective from the people she would trust.


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[JoanneB]

If she wanted to know more, a quick Google search will yield enough information to make her head explode. At the end of the day, the only person who can tell her how you feel, is you.

What helped my wife and I survive after I dropped the T-Bomb were the oft need and always very difficult open and honest talks. Talks where "I'm not sure" or "I don't really know", or "I cannot honestly say one way or another right now" are all valid answers. Talks where you know going in, hurtful things will be said and heard. Things that you need to hear the message behind the words and not the words themselves.

[Julia1996]

I really don't want to be a downer but it's very possible your girlfriend is just not going to accept you transitioning. I feel bad for you because this is so hard for you. But I can also understand her point of view. To be totally honest if I was dating a guy and he came out as trans I don't think I could be ok with it. It sounds harsh but you can't change who you're attracted to. I would help him transition in any way I could but the romantic part just wouldn't work for me anymore. Take a minute and consider this,  your girlfriend comes out as trans. She cuts her hair and starts taking testosterone. Soon she has muscles, facial and body hair and a deep voice. Then she has top surgery. No more breasts. At this point she is a guy for all intents and purposes. Be honest with yourself. Would you still want to be in a relationship with her? Sexually? That's how it will be for her when you transition. Im not saying not to transition . Im just saying if you look at her side of it maybe her non acceptance won't hurt quite so bad.

Hugs
Julia

[ErosNightleaf]

I really don't want to be a downer but it's very possible your girlfriend is just not going to accept you transitioning. I feel bad for you because this is so hard for you. But I can also understand her point of view. To be totally honest if I was dating a guy and he came out as trans I don't think I could be ok with it. It sounds harsh but you can't change who you're attracted to. I would help him transition in any way I could but the romantic part just wouldn't work for me anymore. Take a minute and consider this,  your girlfriend comes out as trans. She cuts her hair and starts taking testosterone. Soon she has muscles, facial and body hair and a deep voice. Then she has top surgery. No more breasts. At this point she is a guy for all intents and purposes. Be honest with yourself. Would you still want to be in a relationship with her? Sexually? That's how it will be for her when you transition. Im not saying not to transition . Im just saying if you look at her side of it maybe her non acceptance won't hurt quite so bad.

Hugs
Julia

I get that for sure. I'm bi but I do understand that it'd be really awkward and I don't want to force this on her. I don't blame her at all. I just think maybe if she's willing to try maybe a councilor or someone could help her make the decision.

[Gertrude]

I really don't want to be a downer but it's very possible your girlfriend is just not going to accept you transitioning. I feel bad for you because this is so hard for you. But I can also understand her point of view. To be totally honest if I was dating a guy and he came out as trans I don't think I could be ok with it. It sounds harsh but you can't change who you're attracted to. I would help him transition in any way I could but the romantic part just wouldn't work for me anymore. Take a minute and consider this,  your girlfriend comes out as trans. She cuts her hair and starts taking testosterone. Soon she has muscles, facial and body hair and a deep voice. Then she has top surgery. No more breasts. At this point she is a guy for all intents and purposes. Be honest with yourself. Would you still want to be in a relationship with her? Sexually? That's how it will be for her when you transition. Im not saying not to transition . Im just saying if you look at her side of it maybe her non acceptance won't hurt quite so bad.

Hugs
Julia

If you're dating, probably not. If you've been married for a long time, maybe. I think for some, the love developed transcends gender and sexuality.


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