How to present as female/feminine for first time.

[Chloe1]

Hi all,

I identify as a trans female but am very much in the closet. I would like to present as female/feminine while out of town one weekend but I don't even know where to start. I have watched YouTube makeup tutorials and researched the best feminine clothing for my body type but I still feel I don't have the skills or confidence to pull this off on my own. No one I know knows that I identify as trans so I don't have any friends to help me with this process. Does anyone have any advice on how I can do this or stories about how they conquered this for the first time? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[JB_Girl]

Tell you what, try something like this.
And
Don't try to do sexy lady all at once! 

A lot of this depends on how old you are and where you will be going.  Are you using your own hair, or are you going to wear a wig?   If a wig, wear a good quality one of mixed human and synthetic hair in a simple style.  It is not a hat, you have a forehead and you are not Dolly Parton.  VIP, don't overdo the make up.  If you want to be unremarkable skip the smokey eyes and bright red lips. 

Day one:  Wear women's jeans and a nice top.  If you're using breast forms don't go with a 'D' cup.  A 'B' cup will make the point and not appear out of place.  Wear cute sneakers and skip the heels altogether, or wear kitten heeled sandals.  Go to the grocery store, go to the mall, go somewhere where people are gathered and busy.

That evening:  Add a bit to your mascara, maybe a little eye shadow and make sure that your brows are okay. (no caterpillars crawling across your head, okay?) The light will be lower and you and can show off a bit.  If you can, have your makeup done for you.  A simple dress and jewelry is best, skip the bling for now.  Watch what the other women are doing and copy them.  Watch with new eyes,  these girls have had a lifetime to get this down.

Body hair:  Epilate, wax, or shave.  Hairy legs, arms, hands will get you clocked by children.

Smile and be gracious:  If questioned remember that you are not faking the truth, in fact you are finally being honest and authentic.  You are beautiful and you are brave.

Try to not do this by yourself.  It helps to have a friend and it makes the entire experience easier and more fun.  If you know a cis gender woman where you are going who is in the know, ask her to come and buy her a fabulous meal.  If you are in Seattle, let me know (I promise I will not show up in a corset  and over the knee boots )

One thing more.  Pee before you go out - just sayin'

Good Luck and Many Blessings,
JB

[elkie-t]

I agree with the previous post.

Here's my 2 cents. You don't need much skills, you don't have to be perfect. Shave your face and your body. Get yourself some breastfotms and a full cup bra (if you're too scared to shop at Target or Kohls or Victoria secret in male mode for the bra, order one online together with the forms. Nothing more than B (your back will thank you), unless you're overweight or very broad-shouldered. Go with female pants, cool tshirt and sneakers unless you're into skirts and heels (then just make sure your skirt matches your top, and you don't look your grandma in it).

Then apply light pink lipstick and mascara, take a deep breath, stick your chest out, _smile_ and go





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[Chloe1]

Thank you both so much for your wonderful advice. That is precisely the kind of help I needed. I now feel like I can finally take this step. I wish I was in the northwest JB because I can clearly learn a lot from you. And for what it's worth, I am in my early thirties and will need a wig. Thank you both again, I can't tell you how much it helped me to read this.

[JB_Girl]

We all had a first time.  Remember to breathe.  If you ever get to the NW, I'll be around and happily take you out to a couple of clubs that are safe and fun.

Peace,
Julie