Any FTM people with detransition results?

[LewisK37]

Hi

I was just wondering how successful detransitioning is for FTM folks- like complete reversal of facial features/fat redistribution. I know that hair and voice deepening are permanent, and the face is expected to revert to female approx 6 months to a year. But I want to hear people's actual experiences on this.
I am afab and bigender but dominantly male. My plan is to go on low dose T for a few months to slightly deepem the voice. I know of one other person like me but he changed his mind and fully transitioned because low dose wasnt enough to improve his dysphoria in male mode. I have the feeling that may be the case for me too.
So I am considering the option of living in a male body for a few years and then detransitioning back to female. As I said, I dont mind the voice change becoz I'm still male and I could always have surgery to get a higher voice. But I'm worried about my face- I want it to look exactly (or near) the same as before. What are people's experience on this? Time isnt a problem for me- I know it will take a while to revert. What I want to know is will I get the result I want

[SailorMars1994]

Ok... i am very lost. Why would you transition only to plan to de-transition in the next couple of years :S??? Infact why would you want to detransition at all? I tried it kinda as in going back to birth gende (male), and it frigging sucked. Not something I would plan to do or dream about. I am back living as a woman myself, still got a road to go down but this is better. There are brave souls who do indeed do go back to their gender of bith, but still if you have de-transitioning on your mind you are probably better off not transitioning in the first place.

Maybe do mild T shots or something but understand, testosterone is a VERY powerful hormone. It isnt something to take lightly. Then again, you may indeed need it. I would suggest seek a experienced therapist

Love-Ashley

[VeronicaLynn]

I vaguely recall reading about some other FtM people that have done this for various reasons.

Facial hair can come fairly quickly, and acne could develop, both of which can permanently change your face. It likely won't be as smooth and as soft as it is now, aging will of course work against that as well. There's no real guessing on how much your voice will change, or how long it will take to change, as there are other genetic factors.

You maybe should read through the FtM and Non-binary boards to see if they have more info on this.

[LewisK37]

"Ok... i am very lost. Why would you transition only to plan to de-transition in the next couple of years :S???"
.... Because I'm bigender and probably more comfortable being androgynous. But lately the dysphoria as male has been getting too intense. Basically I'm always a guy and girl at the same time, but the strength of the 2 genders fluctuate at different times. Mostly though, I feel strongly male.
I'm happy being a girl as well but the dysphoria as a guy is driving me nuts. Living outwardly as male for a number of years (this could be 10-20 years, idk) would help dampen the distress. As I'm AFAB, I guess I'm always going to be comfortable being female internally, regardless of my presentation. I've gone through all the effects of hormones and the literature etc so don't panic. I know the risks, weighed the pros and cons multiple times.
I just really have to address the needs of my male side urgently and am considering the results of detransitioning so that in future if I'm happy with having experienced living (socially) as male, I can go back to a more in-between appearance. Hope that makes sense.

[Rachel_Christina]

So you want to be male? And then give up on being male a few years down the line?
Sounds like a waste of time and resources.
This isn't something people play with.

[Elis]

I can understand were you're coming from. I identify as mostly male but somewhat agender and medically and socially transitioned due to the male dysphoria becoming too much.

With T however there's no guarantee even on a 'low dose' how you'll develop. Clit growth is noticeable within a few months; your voice won't settle into a male range also for a few months; although it'll start becoming croaky in just a month typically.  Facial hair for most trans guys doesn't usually happen for a year or more but you may be the exception and it's likely you'll grow a few facial hairs.

I met someone who was on T for a few years and stopped taking it for the same length of time. Their face has gone back to looking soft and round. And has no obvious signs of facial hair. Their voice sounds sort of in between but closer to male. Although they may be the exception.

Also living as male but not 100% identifying as one comes with its own unique type of social and body dysphoria.

[Dena]

Unfortunately T isn't as easy to play with as E is. Many of the effects of E are reversible or are something that could be lived with. T is far more powerful and it's one of the reasons why FTMs are able to transition so well with it.

Voice surgery isn't a walk in the park. After you have it, you still need to use a trained voice in order for it to sound properly feminine. Learning to do this can take months and for the first few years, you have to be aware of the proper voice to use. An additional complication is you can't control the voice you get off T. If your voice should break while it's dropping. You will have to remain on T long enough to get through the break or live with a broken voice. One forum member attempted a little voice change and this soon became the problem.

Why am I talking about voice? Hair loss from T is temporary if you discontinue T as soon as the hair loss starts however if you remain on T, the hair loss will become permanent. If you need to remain on T long enough for your voice to stabilize, you may experience excessive hair loss.

Facial hair removal isn't fun. Should you need to do electrolysis, just the face can require 200 hours of treatment at an estimated $100 an hour (more or less depending on where you get it). I was fortunate in that I was able to handle the pain without the need for medication but others need nerve blocks just to be able to tolerate treatment.

Some  FTMs develop an Addams Apple so you might need to add that to the list of things that might have to be undone. It will leave a scar on your neck somewhere though placement will be determined by the surgeon that you use.

Depending on your age, some changes in your facial bone structure could take place. If this happens, you might be looking at FFS surgery which is very costly and hard on the body. Some surgeries run into 12 hours for more extensive work and costs in the neighborhood of $50,000 U.S dollars.

Consider all of these factors before starting T and if you are willing to live with all of these results, T is the correct medication for you to be using. If you just want a feature or two, you should very carefully consider if T is the correct medication for you.

[Kylo]

There is also the issue of body hair - male body/leg hair from T is absolutely male-looking and will be noticed as such. It is a permanent change so too would require a lot of hair removal. It'll appear within a few months of T. Like 2 or 3.

Would you be willing to live with what T does to the female genitalia? It is permanent and begins pretty much right away from the start of HRT.

The voice? Also permanent.

If you intend to live as a female in future I would consider other ways of expressing it than taking T.

[LewisK37]

Ok I know some people might not understand why I would do this but I'm getting pretty annoyed now. I said I was considering this option, and I am not aiming to play around with T. I know that it's a powerful hormone and know its effects. My dysphoria as male is extremely difficult for me right now but I dont know if the desire to be outwardly seen as male may change in future. I want to consider all options before doing anything. One of which is detransitioning.

[VeronicaLynn]

There's nothing wrong with considering all of your options.

I identified as bigender for a long time, I maybe still am, though I've been feeling feminine for quite awhile. It is difficult finding a balance between the masculine and feminine.

I've considered what it might be like if I flip masculine after I fully transition. It really has kept me from going very far with my transition.