Hello everyone!
I am FtM.
I'm going into senior year, and I'm very stressed about the way I'm going to present myself. Last year, I had my counselor have my teachers call me by my last name and use he/him pronouns. Then my (married, 27 year old) cousin found out and threatened me over it. She is a very religious muslim. I am forced to wear a headscarf, however I wear it like a hoodie in order to still pass as male (which does work.) But the issue is, so many people would ask me "why are you wearing that? "Is that a headscarf?" "How come they let you wear it?" (The school also has some muslims, the majority are arabs.)
So of course, I will be entering senior year still being forced to wear it. Barely passing as male. Still looking like a 12-15 year old when I'm almost 18. I dislike the fact that I feel like a child entering senior year but I will be eighteen in a few months. Even when I turn 18, I still will be forced to wear it because I have to obey my family since I live under their roof. I still even have baby fat on my face. I am very embarrassed and I do not know what to do. Is there a way to minimize looking like a child and more masculine? Someone on >-bleeped-< once told me that the older I get, the less I look like a boy unless I get testosterone. I DO want to get it, I do want to transition Freshman year of College, but I know my family are completely against transgender, and I am not very sure if I will be able to move out once I graduate High school.
I am so disappointed and stressed. I also wore/wear skinny jeans so of course I will look feminine. This year, I plan on going back to wearing loose jeans and more masculine clothes.
