Hello everyone,
I have searched for somewhere online to make a post like this and I am hoping that I have come to the right place. I am a cisgender heterosexual male and a few months ago, I met my current girlfriend. She is a transgender woman who has not had any surgery yet, however I do not have any issues with this. The problem I have come here today with is that my girlfriend does indeed want to have surgery done, eventually (her choice without any pressure from me), however due to her social situation she will likely be unable to for the foreseeable future (we both live in Canada but she is not a Canadian citizen and does not have a permanent resident card meaning she isn't covered under the healthcare system).
Due to this, the thought of getting surgery often comes to her mind but when she realizes that she will be unable to get it for at least a few years she becomes sad and I try my best to comfort her by calling her or messaging her whenever I can (we live about 30 minutes drive away from each other and I'm the only one with a car). The issue is that in my personal experience prior to meeting her, I have not really had any close interactions with anyone from the LGBT community and thus I struggle to find the proper words to comfort her.
It frustrates me knowing that she is going through a rough time in her life while I am unable to help her. When I ask her how I can help her, she tells me that she doesn't know what I can do. I try my best to distract her from thinking about it by playing video games with her or watching movies or just having fun and silly conversations with her to keep her mind on something positive, but it seems as though the thoughts always find their way back into her mind and she quickly becomes saddened by them, sometimes spontaneously bursting into tears.
I truly do care for her and I want to do everything I can to help her through this time but again, as I lack the knowledge and experience of interacting with members of this community I seem to not be able to find any words to say that can keep her happy. I have considered speaking with family members who have more experience interacting with this community (most notable my sister who is taking a law degree in social justice), however despite the fact that I know my family would accept her I also know that she is slow to come out and so I don't wish to make her uncomfortable by discussing it with my family. Thus, I have turned to this anonymous blog, in the hopes that I can gain some knowledge as to how I can better interact with her and help her through this rough time period.
Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!
