How did you manage Social Media as you transitioned?

[Kelly H]

Over the past few months I have come out to most of my family and close friends.  The reactions have been varied as some might expect. On November 13th I'm coming out at work.  I work for a very large company and my position requires interaction with multiple departments.  To say I'm anxious is an understatement.

What I'm very curious about is how some of you handled your transition revelations on your social media accounts?  I know some people can be cruel and others supportive.  What was your strategy, would you do anything different?

Did you use your existing profile or create a new identity?

I don't spend a lot of time on social. As you can see, I haven't posted much here. I realize for some, it is a huge part of their lives and daily interactions.

Thank you in advance to all who are willing to share your social media experiences.

Kelly

[summer710]

Share what you want to share; don't share what you don't what to share.
Be selective in the comments you make (and read) or the tags you're in.

I personally dropped FB a few years ago and moved on to Insta.  Since Insta is primarily pix (with occasional titles [or selective #'s]) my existence and revelation as a trans-w is more cryptic and self-filtering.  Those within the LGBT community and/or allies will immediately recognize via the photos and bio; only close friends will actually spend effort to read through the posts and realize what's going on in my life.  Friends who are less close will either #1 - figure it out or have their suspicions and drop contact, or #2 will only be at the perimeter of the friendship zone and won't spend too much time contemplating what the storyboard signifies.  The breadcrumbs are there - it just up to people to follow them, if they want.  I didn't link my FB to Insta.

If social media was never a big part of your life prior to transition, there's no reason you have to make it a big part of your life in transition.  And remember - the internet (and social media) never forgets.  At the very least - my social media is strictly for "social media"; it is completely separate from anything even remotely work related.

[Megan.]

Against FB policy I ran two profiles for some time,  it takes some effort to keep them apart,  I did accidentally post a picture of my new nail polish on my old male profile,  but retracted it quickly so only one person saw it,  oops!
I privately came out to friends and family,  but on the day the communication went out at work about me (the week before full-time),  I sent a message (not a post)  to all my friends on my old male profile telling them what was happening,  and to send a friend invite to my new authentic profile if they wanted to still be friends, almost all did . I still have my old FB profile,  but it is just a reference,  I do not post to it,  only my new real profile. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[sarah1972 ✅]

I pretty much switched my professional networks (LinkedIn, XING) shortly after I came out at work.
I started with XING where I have a smaller amount of contacts. A lot of folks I had not heard from for years sent encouraging messages.
LinkedIn I changed but had notifications to my contacts turned of, so I did not get any messages. I can tell by the viewership that some people who do not know yet are confused. What has changed is that I all the sudden get a lot of "women in technology meet up" invitations - social networking events for women in the tech industry.

Facebook is still the old profile, mostly since my wife asked me to hold off. I plan to actually change my current profile since it contains a lot of memories I want to keep. I do have a Sarah profile but do not use it.

Twitter is changed but with 11 followers it does not matter much...

Good luck with your coming out!!

[Gertrude]

Two different accounts


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Kelly H]

Share what you want to share; don't share what you don't what to share.
Be selective in the comments you make (and read) or the tags you're in.

I personally dropped FB a few years ago and moved on to Insta.  Since Insta is primarily pix (with occasional titles [or selective #'s]) my existence and revelation as a trans-w is more cryptic and self-filtering.  Those within the LGBT community and/or allies will immediately recognize via the photos and bio; only close friends will actually spend effort to read through the posts and realize what's going on in my life.  Friends who are less close will either #1 - figure it out or have their suspicions and drop contact, or #2 will only be at the perimeter of the friendship zone and won't spend too much time contemplating what the storyboard signifies.  The breadcrumbs are there - it just up to people to follow them, if they want.  I didn't link my FB to Insta.

Thank you Summer
I'm not that familiar with Insta and haven't been engaged with the LGBT Community online.  Your insight is helpful.  Thank you

[Kelly H]

Against FB policy I ran two profiles for some time,  it takes some effort to keep them apart,  I did accidentally post a picture of my new nail polish on my old male profile,  but retracted it quickly so only one person saw it,  oops!
I privately came out to friends and family,  but on the day the communication went out at work about me (the week before full-time),  I sent a message (not a post)  to all my friends on my old male profile telling them what was happening,  and to send a friend invite to my new authentic profile if they wanted to still be friends, almost all did . I still have my old FB profile,  but it is just a reference,  I do not post to it,  only my new real profile. X

meganjames 2

Thank you very much.  I don't have the time or patience to manage two profiles.  You are the better woman to have the discipline to pull that off. 

[Megan.]

It was more of a practical necessity at the time; I lived two lives for about 18 months

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Kelly H]

I pretty much switched my professional networks (LinkedIn, XING) shortly after I came out at work.
I started with XING where I have a smaller amount of contacts. A lot of folks I had not heard from for years sent encouraging messages.
LinkedIn I changed but had notifications to my contacts turned of, so I did not get any messages. I can tell by the viewership that some people who do not know yet are confused. What has changed is that I all the sudden get a lot of "women in technology meet up" invitations - social networking events for women in the tech industry.

Facebook is still the old profile, mostly since my wife asked me to hold off. I plan to actually change my current profile since it contains a lot of memories I want to keep. I do have a Sarah profile but do not use it.

Twitter is changed but with 11 followers it does not matter much...

Good luck with your coming out!!

Thanks Sarah
My thought was to update picture on LinkedIn and  leave it at that.  Folks I work with will know already.  Those that don't may ask... Did you make an announcement on XING? You mentioned you received positive messages...

Thanks again

[Kelly H]

Two different accounts


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Gertrude,

I ran an ISP for 5 years. You'd think I was more adept at managing social accounts.   Not the case.. I have friends who have staff to post for them.. I'm not in that league..LOL

Appreciate your input!

Kelly

[Kendra]

I quit Facebook.  Too much drama, not enough upside.  I also don't miss other artifacts of the past including cable television and a land-line phone. 

[sarah1972 ✅]

I changed XING over a few days. XING offers the possibility to update your contacts on any change, like "Sarah has a new profile picture" or "Sarah changed her email address". Since I changed my name last, it was all under my old name.

I did not put out an official announcement.

LinkedIn offers the same but I did uncheck the box. People can figure out on their own.

Thanks Sarah
My thought was to update picture on LinkedIn and  leave it at that.  Folks I work with will know already.  Those that don't may ask... Did you make an announcement on XING? You mentioned you received positive messages...

Thanks again

[KathyLauren]

I created a separate FB account for my trans-related stuff.  My only friends on that account were people from the support group.  Everything else remained on my regular FB account.

When it came time to go public, I put a coming out post on my regular account.  Shortly after, I renamed it to my new name.  I told my friends on the trans account about my new account and asked them to friend it if they wanted to stay in touch on FB.  Then, after a brief overlap to give people time to react, I shut down the special-purpose one.

Keeping two accounts was tricky.  Initially, it wasn't hard to make sure there were no points of contact between them.  But as I came out to more people, it got harder.  Fortunately, my transition happened fairly fast, because I could not have kept them separate for long.

[Rowena_Ellenweorc]

For me, its really quite simple as I already have two kind of separate identities. My Facebook and Instagram are my real world identities, so there is very little about being trans or LGBT there (though I am in a couple groups but no one pays attention to what groups you're in LOL). And then my other social media accounts are my online identity.  These are the ones where I openly post that I am transgender/non-binary.  As I've only come out to a finite amount of people in the real world, my facebook and instagram don't really have much there, although now FB has gender and pronoun options, so I did change my gender to other and pronouns to 'they/their' but no one really has noticed outside of the few people on my list from the LGBT groups I'm in.

Noooooow.... there is a bit of a disclaimer. My online identity accounts all relate to my username, so if  you know my online identity, my open identity accounts are easy to find (and I do link some of them on my FB profile) SOOOOO some real world people may end up finding out without my knowledge, but those are only the people who care enough to view my other profiles.  And I know for a fact there aren't many of those. None of my family for example looks at my deviantart (thank heavens for that or they'd be flabbergasted... *gasp* She writes GAY STORIES! OH NO! [Use she pronouns, because that's what my family would use])

[Gertrude]

Against FB policy I ran two profiles for some time,  it takes some effort to keep them apart,  I did accidentally post a picture of my new nail polish on my old male profile,  but retracted it quickly so only one person saw it,  oops!
I privately came out to friends and family,  but on the day the communication went out at work about me (the week before full-time),  I sent a message (not a post)  to all my friends on my old male profile telling them what was happening,  and to send a friend invite to my new authentic profile if they wanted to still be friends, almost all did . I still have my old FB profile,  but it is just a reference,  I do not post to it,  only my new real profile. X

meganjames 2

Thank you very much.  I don't have the time or patience to manage two profiles.  You are the better woman to have the discipline to pull that off.

It's a practical matter as I am not out yet, at least not more than a handful of people.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[usedtobejustin]

I am now very early in the process, so recently opened a second FB account with a new online identity. I am not ready yet for cruel responses . I just hope I can keep them separate and not upload cross pictures and posts LOL. As my process progress and I come out to more of my friends and family I hope to gradually switch to one authentic account. But there is still mileage to go!
Modify message

[LizK]

I am now very early in the process, so recently opened a second FB account with a new online identity. I am not ready yet for cruel responses . I just hope I can keep them separate and not upload cross pictures and posts LOL. As my process progress and I come out to more of my friends and family I hope to gradually switch to one authentic account. But there is still mileage to go!
Modify message

Dear UsedtobeJustin

Welcome to Susan's

Great to see you jumping straight in and sharing why don't you feel free to drop by our Introduction Forum and tell us a little more about yourself. 

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.


I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site.  It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Kelly H]

You're a blast - I can tell!

Rowena_Ellenweorc love your poem too - or at least the portion you shared. We all have a story and those of us willing to share it find comfort in the telling.  At least that's my experience.

Managing 2 accounts is far too tedious for me.  You seem to have plenty of energy though so rock on!

Kelly

For me, its really quite simple as I already have two kind of separate identities. My Facebook and Instagram are my real world identities, so there is very little about being trans or LGBT there (though I am in a couple groups but no one pays attention to what groups you're in LOL). And then my other social media accounts are my online identity.  These are the ones where I openly post that I am transgender/non-binary.  As I've only come out to a finite amount of people in the real world, my facebook and instagram don't really have much there, although now FB has gender and pronoun options, so I did change my gender to other and pronouns to 'they/their' but no one really has noticed outside of the few people on my list from the LGBT groups I'm in.

Noooooow.... there is a bit of a disclaimer. My online identity accounts all relate to my username, so if  you know my online identity, my open identity accounts are easy to find (and I do link some of them on my FB profile) SOOOOO some real world people may end up finding out without my knowledge, but those are only the people who care enough to view my other profiles.  And I know for a fact there aren't many of those. None of my family for example looks at my deviantart (thank heavens for that or they'd be flabbergasted... *gasp* She writes GAY STORIES! OH NO! [Use she pronouns, because that's what my family would use])

[warlockmaker ✅]

I am proud to be the 3td gender female and openly announced it on my fb. Just changed my name. My new names uses the same initials so my signature is the same. I am in Private Equity and the finance industry is very supportive for LGBT. No problems.

[Kelly H]

To all who have responded...  Thank you very much.  I love to hear about your experiences and thoughts on this topic.

My wife is not crazy about my transition so this has been a challenging journey for us both.  I don't want to hide any longer and she doesn't want to suffer the embarrassment of being in public with me. How I handle social media becomes more than what I want or how it impacts me.

My children and grandchildren are actually huge supporters so they have been a ray of sunshine through all of this.

Thanks again to everyone willing to share your experience.

Kelly XOXO