Pre Everything - Where to start?

[AetherBee]

Very new to this and trying to figure myself out. I haven't tried anything but have come to the logical conclusion a good first step would be to try makeup/clothes.

The problem is I am very nervous of where to start, I have very short hair still which I don't feel will help.

I know I should just experiment but my biggest concern is looking in the mirror and hating what I see and putting my off forever.

So what could I try that would minimise risk of putting me off and (hopefully) give me more confidence?

Thanks

[Gertrude]

Nothing to see


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[Jailyn]

Well congrats on your self discovery!!! Most of us start with getting a counselor/therapist you talk to them and at some point they may get you started on hormones. I would say start there. After that take your next steps. Biggest thing with your image is is just start growing your hair out and change things. You don't know what changes will happen until you start. You don't know what you will look like till the hormones start changing you. Most changes take 2 years or more, so to say that you will hate your image is premature. You are in for many changes. If you are just trying to change things before you start anything then do the changes you want first. Ultimately don't take the defeatist attitude right off. I am transitioning myself and when I started my hair was short. Still short but, it all starts somewhere. Start with small things and just do things incrementally. Confidence for me comes everyday I go at as my real self rather than hiding like i have done all my life. Confidence will come also with your support. Whether your support is family, friends, or anyone. You have to have some support for the confidence to really grow. Good luck and hope this helps some. i know I rambled a bit, lol.

[AetherBee]

Fixed link.

Thanks for the advice, my current situation makes therapy a hard thing for me to get. I was planning on waiting as my situation is drastically changing (for the better!) in a few months. This post was more me trying to figure out if there is anything I can do before that point.

[Wanda Jane]

I know for me I started off with laser hair removal on my face and getting on HRT. It made the biggest boost in confidence, and confidence is everything. Shaving my underarms and legs helped with confidence and identity too. You have nice hands, cheeks and eyes. If you are in a position to be able to start with subtle things everyday it helps. I started with light nail polish and makeup. I started with clear nail polishes like Sally Hansen hard as nails treatment and then started adding a little coral to a clear and slowly getting used to more color on my nails. Always use a topcoat too for longevity. The process of painting my nails helped with identity and dysphoria too. I added a hint of eye shadow on just the lids and a light mascara carefully put in the lash line but not tips. Again most of this people didn't notice but made me feel better and more confident. For fuller effect I've found most salons and makeup stores and very accommodating and makeovers are very educational. YouTube has a ton of education videos on applying makeup. I've found most cis girls love helping us too. Look at the various before and after threads here too. Good luck.

[Julia1996]

Hello, I'm Julia. Welcome to the site. Obviously let your hair grow out but if you can do it without causing you too much trouble in your current situation, try going blonde. With your skin color and features I think blonde hair would make you look more  feminine. It doesn't need to be drastic. A honey blonde would look very good on you. Also as others suggested you can start hair removal. From what I can see from your picture it doesn't look like you have a heavy beard which is good. Your skin looks good too.

[Thea]

Hi AetherBee, welcome!

First of all, I want to say that fear is my worst enemy. I'm slowly coming around. Whenever I have fought my fears and done something that scared the crap out of me, my fears turned out to be imaginary and nothing awful happened. I even made a few fiends and allies along the way. Still, I need to be reminded of that all the time and fears still stop me sometimes.

When I fist noticed a need to make changes, I started out with things that take a lot of time and are easy enough to do without sticking out in the crowd too much. I couldn't be open about it for a long time and also needed time to figure out just exactly where I was headed.

I grew my hair out and started working on my skin. I worked outside all my life and there was a lot of sun and weather damage to repair. I'm still working on that.

I went on a diet to loose male pattern fat. That way when I start HRT I can add new fat, hopefully in the right places. I also started a workout routine to slim my waist and to add bulk to my butt and hips.

Hair removal. I shave my whole body weekly and, until I started electrolysis, I shaved my face twice a day. Now I have to leave some hair for my esthetician. Electrolysis is going to take a long time. My face is covered with blond/white hair so electrolysis is the only method that will work for me.

Practice putting on makeup. Some people live in big cities where there are places that will willingly take you in and teach you. Not me, I live in a rural area. I have not yet found such a place. (It may be just my fears talking, I'm concerned what their reaction might be so I haven't had the courage to actually ask yet). I watch a lot of tutorials on youtube.

Voice. If you can, find a voice coach. I feel that my voice makes things uncomfortable when I'm being me in public.

That's a lot of stuff to do and all these things help me to feel better. While I'm doing these steps, I have time to seek out sources and funds for the really big stuff like therapy, HRT and surgery. I have plenty of time to decide just how far I want to take surgery. I'm certain I want a tracheal shave to reduce my adam's apple, but do I want to go further? I have time to decide.

[AetherBee]

Hey everyone

Thanks for all the advice and tips! Really helped give my options to consider.

Anyone coming to this thread now - image I uploaded removed.

[Nanina]

...started working on my skin. I worked outside all my life and there was a lot of sun and weather damage to repair.

Hi Thea,

what are you doing to repair your skin? Is it primarily your face or your body skin as well?

[Thea]

Hi Nanina,

The damage is primarily on my face and neck but also shows on my lower arms and hands. I worked outdoors for about thirty years so it's going to take a while to fix.

Repairing the damage has taken a lifestyle change.
When I decided to do something, the first thing I did was to change to a career that keeps me inside, out of the sun. I left construction and switched to retail.

Then, I did a bunch of research online and developed a whole routine. The videos I watched and articles I read all said the same thing, that hydration and moisturizing are the keys.

In the morning I wash my face with a mild soap and put on sun block with moisturizer.

Throughout the day I apply the sun block and use moisturizing lotion on my hands and arms. I drink lots and lots of water to stay hydrated, and finally, I try to smile a lot and conscientiously avoid frowning.

At night, when I'm getting ready for bed I use an exfoliating facial wash and a moisturizing night cream. Just before getting in bed I slather my whole body with moisturizing lotion.

On days off I sometimes do a home facial mask with collagen or, if I can afford it go to a local day spa for a facial.

I've been at it seriously for a little over two years and think it's doing some good. My friends say I look younger than before and strangers guess my age as being in the late 40s. (I just tuned 57)

I know that was a bit long but I hope it helps.

[elkie-t]

It's not clear where you are now, and how do you want to proceed. If you are just discovering crossdressing, try to think if you really want to go there. It's not right or wrong, it's not about if you can or cannot, but more if you really need to do it. If not have to absolutely do it, then maybe you shouldn't ?


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[Nanina]

Hi Thea,
Thanks a lot for the informations.
I would love to work on my skin as well. It's not damaged from the sun but i think it does look old. I'm almost 40.
I'll get some moisturizer asap!

[CarlyMcx]

Start your wardrobe by buying bras and panties.  You are going to need underwear no matter what, and you can wear it under your male clothing to keep the dysphoria away.

Also, now is the time to start buying and wearing skinny jeans.  You can wear them in guy mode and they are going to be an important part of your female wardrobe.

[Roll]

Also, now is the time to start buying and wearing skinny jeans.  You can wear them in guy mode and they are going to be an important part of your female wardrobe.

Assuming you can wear skinny jeans at all, unlike me. (I have powerful thighs. POWERFUL. Not fat. ... A little fat.)

[Mira June]

I just started transitioning, so I don't know how good my advice is, but here is what I'm doing. I for one just came out and have felt freer than I ever have. many people don't support me but that is okay. I can't do much, but what I do makes me feel better. over the last month, I have started wearing makeup, and even though I don't really have any feminine clothes, I just make due with what I have. It is kind of nice that I can wear my unisex clothes and feel okay. I am now transitioning in full swing, but have so far to go. I have to wait 2 years until I am 18 to start HRT, but I just feel so much more my self after I grew my hair, used some makeup and dressed a little different. Something to think about is how trying to feminize your voice and how you walk can help. I started that process a little while ago, and it feels amazing. Anyways, that is how I deal with my situation. I really wish I could appear completely feminine by adding bras, panties, and dresses to my wardrobe, but doing what I have has been an immense help. I hope my practices can help you out a little bit.