Hi everyone,
I'm a Brassard girl, just shy of 6 weeks post-op so still pretty new to everything but appear to be adjusting and healing well. I posted some questions about dilating a little while ago and am back with a few more! Dilating itself has grown easier and I'm currently doing it 3x a day; warming up with Little Boy Blue (#2 - 5 min), followed by Mr. Green (#3 - 10 min) and then finally The Orange Thor (#4 - 15 min). I try to make each session as relaxing as possible, alas that often allows my mind to wander, resulting in the following:
1) I'm using the curved Soulsource dilators and have read more than once that they should never be rotated. My question here is, why shouldn't they and how bad is it really if they do? Is there a risk of catching sutures, or agitating surrounding organs (particularly the rectum)? While I never intentionally rotate them I've noticed that, if I'm not paying attention, #4 tends to rotate itself roughly 45-70 degrees counter-clockwise. Noticing this, I very slowly straighten it out over the session. I pay more attention now, preventing the rotation, but am still curious what risk rotating carries. I've also read that, once things have healed, the curved tip of the dilator can create some pleasurable sensations around the prostate. I haven't encountered that yet, and the idea of anything feeing pleasurable down there is a strange concept...but hey, I've still got a lot of healing to do.
2) I've noticed a fair bit of suction when trying to remove the dilators (particularly #'s 3 & 4). While it doesn't hurt to remove and they've never gotten stuck *knocks on wood*, there is a bit of awkwardness and/or slight discomfort upon removal. I'm currently using KY Jelly and am trying to find locally the lube used in Brassard's recovery home as I don't recall any suction with that. So, I'm curious, does suction carry any risk? I'm scared of pulling my vagina out...please tell me I'm overthinking here and that the chances of that happening are remote.
3) Speaking of overthinking, how feasible is it to apply too much pressure when dilating and puncture the vagina? The idea of this happening is horrible! Similarly, I feel the dilator around my bladder and sometimes, I believe, my rectum (understandable giving the canal's location). How enthusiastic would I have to be with dilating to poke some holes? Obviously I don't want to damage anything, is there a risk of doing that? Which leads to my next overthinking question...
4) Fistulas. When do these occur? Is the risk primarily during surgery, or is there a chance of them forming down the road during recovery (or anytime in my life)? I've read about a lady noticing one about 5 weeks post-op and believes it came from a nick during surgery that grew over time with repeated dilation. I read some other fistula experiences and these sound like horror stories but the risks are real nonetheless, any help at putting my mind at ease would be appreciated!
5) As I adjust to my new equipment and its configuration downstairs, I've noticed that the perineal area is significantly narrower than it used to be. Now, this is obvious since where else would the vagina go? But that said, I'm shocked at exactly how narrow it is as it now looks like there is merely 1cm or so of flesh separating the vagina from the anus. Is this normal? That seems so...thin! What are the chances of any ripping here (ala episiotomy) during dilating, sex, or really anything? This area also appears to be the only place that still feels fairly "raw" and sore, I'm hoping it's safe to say that'll go away in time.
Any answers to my overactive brain's questions would be amazing! I'm sure I'll be back with more questions in the future!
