"coming out" (hate that term) on Facebook and Social Media HELP

[mortiis34]

Hi lovelies. It's that time..

I start HRT at the end of next month (it was the soonest that I could get an appointment with the gender clinic here in Melbourne).

I would like to know what most of you did when you first began transitioning in regards to Facebook (and perhaps other such social media) - did you create a completely new profile, or just update your original profile with new name without warning and watch all your friends dwindle away lol (which is what I believe will happen to me).

I am thinking of doing the above method, but perhaps posting an update before I do it, as to "huge changes in my life" etc.
I have told literally NOBOODY I know apart from my flatmate and psychologist.

Please let me know your thoughts, recommendations and tips which worked for y'all.

XX

(Oh, I have settled upon a name, finally!!)

[Tammy Jade]

I did a coming out post on Facebook.
All in all I now have more friends then I did then..

I lost a couple but also got a lot more support then I expected.

Iv included a link to my post fee free to check it out.. it may give you some ideas.

https://www.facebook.com/tamara.jade.brice/posts/1393723297384588



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[mortiis34]

I did a coming out post on Facebook.
All in all I now have more friends then I did then..

I lost a couple but also got a lot more support then I expected.

Iv included a link to my post fee free to check it out.. it may give you some ideas.

https://www.facebook.com/tamara.jade.brice/posts/1393723297384588



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

An incredible post, I may do something very similar, but tailored to myself (of course).

As 50% of my facebook friends have never physically met me, I am guessing most of them will not care less, and those that DO are worth losing, and should never have been there in the first place

[StacyRenee]

I created an all new Facebook account (the account name will carry the name you first sign up with as the Facebook extension. I.e. www.facebook.com/stacyrenee179 as apposed to www.facebook.com/johnsmith27904.) <Both are examples only, NOT REAL FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS>

I didn't want my deadname still lingering around.

I posted a letter of sorts, telling everyone that I'm transgender and linked my new Facebook account. I then asked all of my friends that supported me to send a friend request to me at me at my new account.

Realizing that some people may not follow me, I waited a week and then sent friend requests from my new account to those that hadn't sent me one. As a last attempt I messaged the few last people with a link to my original post.

After all three attempts, only 2 people out of about 50 still never sent friend requests.

My suggestion is to try not to hover, as many people took several days to respond.

Good luck!

[Donna]

I changed my photo and my name and let the poop hit the fan. Most of it came back on my wife so I blocked everyone for now until I rethink the whole social media thing. Not a great move but I learned. Then I had to fix Instagram as well, damn I hate social media.

[krobinson103]

Did that a month ago. A few surprised reactions then it all went away. Mostly positive comments. Sure gets the fear of people finding out sorted.

[Maddie86]

I plan on coming out in a few weeks and I plan on doing a whole new page, but like others have done I'm going to make an announcement on my old one. I can't wait to get rid of my old one lol

[KathyLauren]

When I first started transitioning, I opened a new (temporary) Facebook account for my new identity, while keeping the old male one alive.  Be really careful if you do that, so that FB doesn't figure out that you are the same person: use different browsers or different devices for the two accounts, and allow NO friends in common between the two.  Otherwise FB will out you be suggesting your new name as a 'friend' to your old friends.

When I was ready to come out to the world, I posted a coming out notice on my male FB account.  Then, a few hours later, I changed my name and photo on it.  There is an option, buried somewhere in Settings, to change your FB username, which I did, so my page no longer has my deadname in the URL.

Finally, I transferred membership in my support group's FB page from my temporary to my regular account, informed my friends there that they could find me on the other account, and then closed down the temporary one.

[MeTony]

I only have one account. I will change my name when it is time. Those who want to unfriend me are free to do so.

Too much work keeping two accounts.

I was smart in 2009 when I registered that I only used my last name and numbers on my fb address.

[Rachel]

I started a FB account with my name when I started to transition. I locked it up. I guess I could review my security settings and loosen it up a bit. None of my family, childhood friends or cousins requested to be friends. I guess it is time for me to put a pic on Facebook too.

[Kylo]

I never use my real name or info on FB anyway (including photos), I use it strictly to communicate with friends (i.e. real friends, not acquaintances or family members or anyone likely to delete me for some opinion they don't like) so no need to change anything on there. I didn't "come out" on there, I also hate this term and the idea of making a fuss about coming out to people, but it did happen inadvertently when I had a wall conversation there with someone on a slightly related topic which most of the friends read; in this conversation was a small line about me and my status... the bright ones picked up on it right away, some of the others are still oblivious.

If I was using a real name and wanted to switch gender but control who saw it, I'd make a new account under the new name and invite people from the old account to join the new one and say I was now using that. If they were cool about it, great. If not, sod 'em.

[ReplacementSarah]

I created an all new Facebook account (the account name will carry the name you first sign up with as the Facebook extension. I.e. www.facebook.com/stacyrenee179 as apposed to www.facebook.com/johnsmith27904.) <Both are examples only, NOT REAL FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS>

Facebook now actually lets you change your username in the settings. I preemptively did this, though I'm not quite ready to change my name on there, yet.

[StacyRenee]

Facebook now actually lets you change your username in the settings. I preemptively did this, though I'm not quite ready to change my name on there, yet.

Does the username change the extension now? Many of my friends have gotten married and changed their name on Facebook. But I noticed that the web address extension is their maiden name. May have changed when they added gender identities besides the binary.

[ReplacementSarah]

Does the username change the extension now? Many of my friends have gotten married and changed their name on Facebook. But I noticed that the web address extension is their maiden name. May have changed when they added gender identities besides the binary.

Your name and username are two different settings. Changing your name won't automatically change your username, but you can change your username separately and doing so changes the url extension. It used to be that your username could only be set once and then was unchangeable, but somewhere along the line they decided to relax that policy.

[KathyLauren]

Does the username change the extension now?

Yes it does.  I got fed up with seeing my deadname in the URL, so I rummaged around until I found the username change.  That did it.  The URL now shows my proper name as my username.

As Sarah noted, though, it is not the same as changing your name.  You need to do both.

[StacyRenee]

That's awesome! I guess I didn't need to make a whole new account after all. Managing two accounts on two devices got to be tiresome.

[Charlie Nicki]

I did a coming out post on Facebook.
All in all I now have more friends then I did then..

I lost a couple but also got a lot more support then I expected.

Iv included a link to my post fee free to check it out.. it may give you some ideas.

https://www.facebook.com/tamara.jade.brice/posts/1393723297384588



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I liked your message.

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[Charlie Nicki]

I created an all new Facebook account (the account name will carry the name you first sign up with as the Facebook extension. I.e. www.facebook.com/stacyrenee179 as apposed to www.facebook.com/johnsmith27904.) <Both are examples only, NOT REAL FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS>

I didn't want my deadname still lingering around.

FYI you can actually change the username in the link of your Facebook account. I've done it twice


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[Donna]

I did a coming out post on Facebook.
All in all I now have more friends then I did then..

I lost a couple but also got a lot more support then I expected.

Iv included a link to my post fee free to check it out.. it may give you some ideas.

https://www.facebook.com/tamara.jade.brice/posts/1393723297384588





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Great post for face book. It gave me some ideas and I did do up an I don't care what you think post and opened my account back up to friends and family. So far I've had great support and feed back from everyone.