I am so happy today! I am 42 years old and I've been crossdressing since I was about 14. I started off by wearing my sister's panties and panty hose and dresses when I was home alone and for many years that was the only women's clothes I wore. When I was 32 I had a good job and a reasonable amount of privacy even though I lived with family so I decided it was way past time that I had my own clothes, things that I liked and that no one else had worn before me. I was and still am terrified of going into a physical store and attempting to buy any item of women's clothing whatsoever, so I turned to eBay where I was able to order some lingerie, a dress or two, and two pairs of 5.I love stilettos and even though I'm tall to begin with, I love the 5 inch spiked heels. I've never met another crossdresser but I'm sure we all started off the same way, wearing clothes we found or, I'm ashamed to admit stole, from family or friends or girlfriends. Any of you reading this who has made that same decision I did and bought their very own clothes for the first time knows the anticipation and excitement that drove me crazy while I waited for my shipment. I was also a little nervous because I did still live with family, but I was pretty confident that no one would open my package when it came and they didn't. I kept the clothes I had but I loved having my own. It seemed to make the urge to wear them stronger though and often I went to work wearing panties and panty hose under my jeans and I kept a pair of my heels in my car and would put them on for the hour long drive home. Sadly, all good things must come to an end as they say and it was the same with my wardrobe. I won't go into a lot of detail but I ended up living out of my car and one day it caught fire and burned down to the frame. Everything I owned was in there, all of my clothes, male and female. Shortly after that I went to prison for 5 years and again I won't go into detail, but obviously I couldn't indulge my passion while I was there. I finally got out in November of last year and now that I found myself with at least a little bit of privacy the desire to dress up has been driving me crazy. For numerous reasons I haven't been able to go back to work yet so I haven't been able to buy myself any clothes but I will confess that the many women in my family have left a lot of different clothing items abandoned and although I much prefer owning my own, I don't have any problem wearing things that once belonged to members of my family. I am now the proud owner of two pairs of panties, two bras, a body shaping top with built in bra, and a couple of feminine tops, I confess my ignorance in that I still don't know the names for a lot of clothing items, I just know what I like. I would call these blouses though, moreso than shirts. I have never even told anyone about my passion for women's clothes and heels so it's hard to believe that I'm posting this on a public forum but I am so very happy and excited that I had to share my feelings with someone. I spent the day looking for free crossdresser chat rooms with no luck and decided I would post something here and see if anyone ever replies to it. I can't wait to get back to work and be able to to buy things I like and that fit me better than these cast offs but after so long that my feminine side has withered there is an indescribable feeling of contentment washing over me as I type this out with a pair of black bikini style panties snug on me under my jeans. If anyone can relate to my feelings over first owning my own clothes and being able to dress up again after being unable to for any period of time I would love to hear from you and to learn of your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for being here for me to share my story with. If there are any crossdresssers around Dallas, Texas who would be interested in talking with the possibility of getting together one day to dress up together you can find me on Kik. My username is winstonsmith1976. I know that they say that if we post our contact information in these forums we do so at our own risk but I'm willing to take the chance and maybe meet someone who understands and accepts me. Good night my beautiful sisters.
