I've mentioned my family issues a couple of times on the forums, but basically I'm not in contact with my family anymore. My sister is the only exception, though we only talk maybe twice a year, and when we do it's almost always negative; she always ends up yelling at me for being gay, for leaving the church, for listening to "the devil's music", and for whatever hairstyle I currently have. Still, since she's less hateful towards me than the rest of my family, I still talk to her, and since she's the "last" family I have, I agreed to meet with her while she was in town today.
Now, my ex-boyfriend (who remains a close, supportive friend to me) and I have agreed that I would be safer not telling my family about my trans-ness. My parents are well-known and closely connected to an extremely conservative network of churches (think Westboro Baptist types), and we've agreed that since I'm not in contact with them anyway, I would be better off not telling them that I'm trans, since that would risk outing me to a very large population of really transphobic people. So, my sister knows I like guys, but she doesn't know I'm trans, and I'm not planning to tell her anytime soon.
So I met my sister at a books-a-million. She brought her husband and baby, I bought coffee, and we chatted pleasantly for about ten minutes until she started asking questions about my life. She became visibly angry when she asked about my ex (like I said, we don't talk much, so she didn't know we broke up), and she demanded to know why I'm trying to leave the South, which in her opinion is the best place in the country to live. She said the people here make it a good place due to "southern hospitality", and that people everywhere else are awful, to which I replied that the South is only a good place to live if one is straight, white, and actually from the South (I am white but the racism here disturbs me so that's still a major issue for me). I said that a lot of people in the South are, to varying degrees, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, and homophobic, and that because of that I don't feel comfortable living here, and she said that she was homophobic, too, and asked if that was a good reason for me not to talk to her. I said it definitely made talking to her an uncomfortable experience, and she got mad and asked if I still wanted to talk to her at all.
I didn't know how to answer that. I did want to stay in touch with her, but every time we talk she gets angry and tells me I'm a horrible, ungodly person, and if she ever found out I'm trans she'd tell my parents, who might out me to more dangerous people, so that would make talking to her more difficult in the future. I was put on the spot, and I didn't know how to answer, and she and her husband were getting REALLY angry which was making me kinda scared even though we were in public and they had a baby with them, and then they stormed out and...
...and I don't know. I feel sad and a little hurt, but I haven't felt connected to her in a long time. I don't feel like I've really lost anything, and if anything I feel safer now knowing that they probably won't try to contact me again. I'm a little upset but I just wanted to vent about it somewhere; I don't think I'll ever talk to them again.
