is jealousy a sign of being immature, having low esteem?

[IamJoannaAndJohn]

hello hello lovelies...

so as it goes with my transitioning journey, i have found myself to be quite sensitive when seeing others and as silly as it may sound i always feel bad about myself afterwards because i end up comparing myself with them.

back then before my ....can i even say awakening? but yeah the jealousy thing with other guys wasn't even existent. it wasn't there. guys could be tall, hot, muscular, you name it and it means nothing to me...whereas now transitioning and being effeminate...it really works me up.

it's really a bother to me and i know jealousy by itself is not a bad thing but what you do afterwards with it is what counts....i think. i have been looking for solutions, ways to help me about this.

ty

[4A-GZE]

I feel you on the jealousy thing. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm especially bothered by trans men who looked how I want to look before transitioning. It's like they threw away the only thing I want. Of course I know it's not like that, but still.

[Northern Star Girl]

@IamJoannaAndJohn
@4A-GZE

Hey girls, jealousy is not a good word choice... too many negative things go along with the definition of jealousy....

In my opinion "envious" is a much better way to look at these things.
We can all be envious of a lot of things that we desire without the dark emotions of jealousy.

Danielle

[Lady Sarah]

Jealousy, or envy, both come with negative connotations. On the flip side, there will always be those with jealousy or envy of YOU! It might be about you build, stature, hair, eyes, smile, or even style. Whether they show it or not does not matter.  It's only a problem when they get uptight about it, and cuss or attack whomever they are jealous of. Keep a level, mature head, and your envy of others can be healthy.

[Allison S]

Jealous or envious? Who cares. Lol either way you have to get over it somehow.
It's easier said than done, but we all feel that way from time to time.

I didn't understand, since transitioning you're jealous of masculine men? Or just in general? Sorry I got kinda lost at what you meant there.

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[Northern Star Girl]

Envy and jealousy are not the same emotions. Envy, as unpleasant as it can be, usually doesn't contain a sense of betrayal and resultant outrage as does jealousy.
Envy can be a catalyst for achieving for ourselves what others have that we find appealing.

Jealousy is most apparent in romantic relationships when another is garnering the attention of your loved ones and can result is emotional outrage and drastic actions against another.


This is in a way similar to 2 other words that are sometimes and incorrectly used the same way.
I am EAGER to see the new Jaws Movie or I am ANXIOUS to see the new Jaws movie.

Eager means that I can hardly wait and am yearning to see the Jaws movie, while Anxious means that I have apprehension or nervousness and worry about seeing the Jaws movie.

Words are fun but we misuse them and misunderstand the meanings sometimes.

Danielle

[Devlyn]

Envy and jealousy are not the same emotions. Envy, as unpleasant as it can be, usually doesn't contain a sense of betrayal and resultant outrage as does jealousy.
Envy can be a catalyst for achieving for ourselves what others have that we find appealing.

Jealousy is most apparent in romantic relationships when another is garnering the attention of your loved ones and can result is emotional outrage and drastic actions against another.


This is in a way similar to 2 other words that are sometimes and incorrectly used the same way.
I am EAGER to see the new Jaws Movie or I am ANXIOUS to see the new Jaws movie.

Eager means that I can hardly wait and am yearning to see the Jaws movie, while Anxious means that I have apprehension or nervousness and worry about seeing the Jaws movie.

Words are fun but we misuse them and misunderstand the meanings sometimes.

Danielle

Or as I like to say, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...but not their own vocabulary. 

[Julia1996]

I think everyone gets envious at times. I've had issues with envy and plain jealousy. When I was younger I would get jealous and resentful of my brother because he has normal skin, hair and eye color which was awful on my part because my brother spent a lot of time indoors with me when he didn't have to just so I wouldn't be lonely during the summer when all the other kids were playing outside. I got over being jealous of my brother. But I still find myself being envious when I see people with a nice tan because a tan is something I can't ever have. I also get a bit envious when I see a tall woman with long legs, another thing I won't ever have. I think envy is normal in people. It only becomes a problem if someone dwells on it too much and envy turns to resentment which turns into hate.

[Allison S]

I think everyone gets envious at times. I've had issues with envy and plain jealousy. When I was younger I would get jealous and resentful of my brother because he has normal skin, hair and eye color which was awful on my part because my brother spent a lot of time indoors with me when he didn't have to just so I wouldn't be lonely during the summer when all the other kids were playing outside. I got over being jealous of my brother. But I still find myself being envious when I see people with a nice tan because a tan is something I can't ever have. I also get a bit envious when I see a tall woman with long legs, another thing I won't ever have. I think envy is normal in people. It only becomes a problem if someone dwells on it too much and envy turns to resentment which turns into hate.

Um that's kinda sad... Your parents didn't know to give you a hat and have you wear breatheable long sleeves shirts to avoid sun exposure?

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[Julia1996]

Um that's kinda sad... Your parents didn't know to give you a hat and have you wear breatheable long sleeves shirts to avoid sun exposure?

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I wore all that plus sunscreen but my dad didn't want me outside more than 20 minutes at a time. He's always been over protective but in this case I blame the Dr I had at the time. He emphasized how easily I could get skin cancer and I found out years later that that stupid ass had actually shown my dad pictures of people with their noses and faces eaten away by skin cancer. I guess it freaked my dad out.  Every morning my dad would put sunscreen all over me. The Dr had told him that some UV still gets through clothing and even through sunscreen and that my skin had no defense against it. My dad eventually started letting me stay outside longer but then when I was 12 I got a small skin cancer on the top of my hand which freaked him out so he started keeping me inside again.

[I_Am_Hazel]

It makes sense. When I was a man, I was very slim and had very little muscle. I was envious of women who looked like I wanted – short, round face, etc. I had no reason to be envious of men, no matter what they looked like (unless they were able to look more feminine than me).

[Allison S]

I wore all that plus sunscreen but my dad didn't want me outside more than 20 minutes at a time. He's always been over protective but in this case I blame the Dr I had at the time. He emphasized how easily I could get skin cancer and I found out years later that that stupid ass had actually shown my dad pictures of people with their noses and faces eaten away by skin cancer. I guess it freaked my dad out.  Every morning my dad would put sunscreen all over me. The Dr had told him that some UV still gets through clothing and even through sunscreen and that my skin had no defense against it. My dad eventually started letting me stay outside longer but then when I was 12 I got a small skin cancer on the top of my hand which freaked him out so he started keeping me inside again.

Your dad is straight out of a Hallmark movie isn't he lol you're definitely a very lucky girl in that aspect!!

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[Julia1996]

Your dad is straight out of a Hallmark movie isn't he lol you're definitely a very lucky girl in that aspect!!

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Lol a hallmark movie! That's hilarious!  😂😂  I doubt you would think he was a hallmark type dad if you grew up with him. My dad has always been a good dad but he was quite strict. He didn't believe in hitting his kids but he sure would take your phone, tablet and lap top away from you in a minute. Once he took my phone away from me for 2 weeks. I told him it was dangerous for me not to have a phone and he would feel really bad if something happened to me. He said I was absolutely right and reached into his desk drawer. I thought " ha! He's giving it back". Yeah, no. He handed me this weird tiny prepaid phone with 10 minutes on it. The thing had actual buttons on it! I think I get being such a smart ass from him. And I think my brother just recently realized his name is Tyler and not knuckle head.

[IamJoannaAndJohn]

hello hello sorry for being gone for a while. been through rough and busy times. thanks for the replies and clear ups.

Jealous or envious? Who cares. Lol either way you have to get over it somehow.
It's easier said than done, but we all feel that way from time to time.

I didn't understand, since transitioning you're jealous of masculine men? Or just in general? Sorry I got kinda lost at what you meant there.

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i meant when i was still a guy i never got jealous of other guys whereas now, after transitioning i find myself extremely envious of other transwomen/ciwomen.