BFKate wrote, "People who ask the things you have described need a good boot up the Khyber."
Perhaps, but what if a person who just had his or her epiphany reagrding their gender dysphoria was reading this post? What if this person had heard all of those negative things about how they were feeling? Would it not be valuable to read some answers to these questions? These might be questions that a newly wakened transexual needs to have addressed.
I was unable to sign on to Susan's for six months after I found the site because the only access I had was through my work computer. But I knew I needed to learn what was happening to me and I lurked here and on other forums and I read and reread practically everything I could google on tg issues. (I almost outed myself in the process, too!)
I learned a great deal but I couldn't ask questions. The information that I've posted in this thread is what I think was missing.
Here's the last installment:
- Unnatural
This charge is merely a manifestation of ignorance. Transgender behavior happens in nature all the time and through out human history as well.
- Abnormal
Yup! That it is! So is cerebral palsy, ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), cleft pallets and other birth defects, muscular dystrophy, arthritis and rheumatism and so on and so on . . . No one argues against fixing those things, do they?
- mutilation
Merriam-Webster Online defines this word as, "1 : to cut up or alter radically so as to make imperfect <the child mutilated the book with his scissors>
2 : to cut off or permanently destroy a limb or essential part of (a body)"
The first definition mentions "to make imperfect." Calling transexualism mutilation is a judgment in the eye of which beholder? I would think that the person who has to live inside that body should be the one to judge its perfection. So, SRS makes more perfect, not imperfect in the eyes of the person who matters most in that regard and it cannot thus be called mutilation.
The second definition mentions destruction of "a limb or essential part." M2F SRS is transformation, not destruction. And, what does "essential" mean? Essential to sustain life? A mastectomy and hysterectomy do not remove "essential" parts of the body as long as you define essential as being necessary to sustain life. They might be essential to reproduction but only are important if the person affected wants to reproduce.
- Threatening
Transexuals are threatening to many because they are very much in the minority. Because we are such a small minority we can usually be safely ignored. Especially because those of us who pass most successfully blend in, leaving an even smaller portion to challenge the binary gender world view that our culture teaches us. But when an obvious transexual appears that's what is so threatening. The challenge to a very basic assumption makes people very uncomfortable. The thought process, if these people would actually think about it, would sound like this:
If what we have been taught about something so basic as gender is incorrect, well then who knows what else "they" lied to us about? When an assumption as basic as the binary gender concept is challenged, then all of our knowledge about who and what we are is challenged and that is very uncomfortable. It is very very uncomfortable so we don't like those who we think is causing that discomfort. It's like they're attacking us!
Of course there are two things wrong with that. First, ignorance is never a good excuse. The media, with all its sensationalism, faults and imperfections, are at least making the phenomenon known. Second is the assumption that the discomfort is coming from the transexual and not from the person's own beliefs and judgments. It's very common to attribute emotions to those outside of ourselves. We are constantly told to look outside ourselves for happiness (if you buy this you will be happy, if you do this for me then I'll be happy) so it stands to reason if we believe that happiness comes from outside, then unhappiness does also! This is taught to us from an early age and is one of the great failings of western religion and culture. I should not have had to wait until I was in my twenties to learn that my attitudes and beliefs are the basis of my emotions, not the circumstances of my life.
- Dishonest
The person who thinks that transexualism is dishonest is still stuck in the notion that the physical overrides the mental/emotional portions of our humanity and springs, I think, from the complete inability of those people to imagine the horror of living a life in direct contravention of their internal psyche. One of the most painful manifestations of my dysphoria comes from my realization of how much I have lied to myself and to others throughout my entire lifetime. I feel like a complete fraud and the upshot is that, now that I want to "come clean," I'm being encouraged to continue the deception by those who are supposed to love me and have my best interests at heart. So, yes, untreated and unacknowledged transexualism IS dishonest but trying to do something about it, making the change, is the confession, the final denial of dishonesty.
If someone were to challenge me regarding transexualism and they were truly willing to learn, I would use these arguments to teach them about the issue. Yes, they are very uncomfortable questions and coming from the wrong person, with the wrong attitude, they can be infuriating. But a little discomfort, a little conflict (if it doesn't go over the edge) can help lead towards the truth.
(2 cents, paid in full, for now)
