New to here

[Shanellax]

Girls I'm 18 and new to here though I've come and read a lot of threads on here before. I'm not sure if I'm a male, a cd or a trans women and I thought why not explore the desires which have come and at times gone too. I though if just telling more about how this started.
So basically I didn't know what transgender means or anything, but two years ago I started watching a nat geo documentary about transgender and idk why but I got aroussed by the content shown. I was curious and searched further on the internet, I did mast*erbate for trans women. It did fade away later and I just forgot about it, I thought it was just a fetish.
It did come back again, but a much stronger urge three months before, so much so I tried panties,heels, and even little make up and lipstick. Honestly I wasn't arroused by wearing the,, i just spent about a few minutes, making tea and walking around with the heels and drinking the tea with a mouthful of lipstick. I felt cute but idk haha. Later I felt bad for doing this as soon as I mast*rbated, like I thought I am a man why I am doing this. Idk if I wanna become a girl and kinda confused but also ready to accept if I am a trans women, a girl. So if anyone can relate please reach out and I wanna make friends bc I'm very lonely irl as well.

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Shanellax.  I felt as you did 20 or 30 years ago, so I can definitely relate.

One thing I would suggest is to explore your cross-dressing.  It is normal, especially at your age, to get sexually aroused when dressing.  That in itself doesn't mean anything.  However, pay attention to your other feelings.  Is there anything there besides the sexual arousal?  Do you feel more comfortable, more yourself, when dressed as a woman?  It may take a while to sort this out, as sometimes these indications are quite subtle.

If there is nothing there but the sexual arousal, then it is a fetish.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  It is just a word that describes your motivation.

If there is something else there, a level of comfort that is separate from sex, then you are some variety of transgender.  It takes some more self-awareness to sort out those possibilities.  If you are good with cross-dressing and need nothing more, then you are a cross-dresser.  If you need more, then you may need some degree of transition.

I would encourage you to see a gender therapist.  There is nothing wrong with doing so at this stage, just to help you sort this all out.  Certainly if you find that you need more than just cross-dressing, then you really should see one.

[NatalieBrowning]

I have very much been in the same boat for a lot of years Shannellax. When I was your age I was trying on different items of clothing and finding myself aroused. Over time though I found that I was putting on the clothes for more than just the arousal. I found the thrill of the transformation is what was exciting to me. I was very much comfortable in my own skin as a male, but as a female it was like I was another person. It was a long hard battle fraught with inner conflict about whether I was Trans or just a cross dresser. At the end of the day, I'm a cross dresser and I'm happy with who I am. There is nothing wrong with being a part time woman. You have to do what makes you happy and most comfortable. Most importantly enjoy the journey. Best of luck!