I Want to Start Passing! (HALP)

[veronicashannon88]

Hi everyone,

As mentioned before, I've been on a month on HRT. For the most part, people in my life know and accept that I am a transwoman. For reasons due to laziness, a lack of budget, and me just waiting for the "right time", I'm usually on boy mode. I have been making an effort to low-key appear more female, and on casual Friday's, I usually wear a t-shirt dress (often paired with denim shorts underneath).

I tend to enjoy wearing flannels, boots, and a lot of dark colors. I can totally pass as a straight-up tomboy on a good day, but I would like to present more feminine regularly. I was wondering if anyone could share some tips on how I can start passing on a daily basis?

I do wanna look into make-up too, since I wanna hide the facial hair shadow/stubble on my lips and chin huhu

Here are a couple pictures of me for reference:

[Maid Marion]

Voice training often makes a big difference in passing. There are online resources for doing this if you don't have money.

Females also move differently.  You may want to experiment with the way you walk. 

There is also the way you interact with others.  Men are trained to take the lead and act more aggressively.  Some men think it is perfectly fine to cut off a woman, even when she is answering a question asked by that man.

[Kendra]

Marion is right.  Voice and mannerisms make a big difference.  I've spent quite a bit of time quietly noticing the way women speak and interact with others.  (But if a guy cuts me off mid-sentence I don't tolerate that).

You are very fortunate in many ways - your natural hairline is excellent, a nice arc and HRT will help keep it that way over time.  Feminine hairlines tend to form an arc, and masculine hairlines form a more squared-off shape.

MTF HRT will reduce body hair but not facial hair.  I developed a beard when I was 15, and by my 30s had a very visible beard shadow a few hours after shaving.  I used electrolysis to permanently get rid of that but it is expensive and requires a lot of time.  Some people have had success with laser, costs less than electrolysis but doesn't work well for everyone.  Laser requires high quality equipment, a skilled operator and high contrast (dark hair and light skin).

Eyebrows can be improved without spending much money.  Women's eyebrows appear slightly higher than men's eyebrows due to differences in skull bone shape.  The basic goal is make eyebrows look higher and lighter by re-shaping eyebrows to eliminate hair under the eyebrow line, and keep hair above that line.  A lot of women carefully pluck their eyebrows and you can trim the longer individual hairs with scissors.  Maybe have this done with professional threading or waxing and then maintain it yourself once you know what they did. 

[Colleen_definitely]

Voice, hair removal, mannerisms, and eyebrows in that order if you ask me.

If you're going to get your brows done, I agree with Kendra that going to a pro and maintaining it afterward is the best bet.  It's quicker, pretty cheap (about $20 USD around where I live including tip), and they are way less likely to goof it up.  Plucking them one at a time is no fun at all.

[veronicashannon88]

Thanks so much for the tips!

I'm planning to hit the waxing salon with my wifey next month, once my 13th month pay comes in. I've also been trying to get the walk right. I find myself subconsciously doing it sometimes, so at least its a start. I might just work out how to do light make up to conceal the stubs around my lips and cheek. I plan on presenting more in the coming weeks. This was my look today for work.

[Colleen_definitely]

Ah much improved!  (I'm totally digging the boots)

I had great success for color correcting (dark hair, fairly light skin) using a product called naked skin from urban decay.  Gently blot a little bit of that on in problem areas (gently, a little goes a long way) and then go with your regularly scheduled foundation.


Now when it comes to "the walk" and such: remember not to try too hard.  Yes it sounds counter-intuitive but forcing it too much is even more obvious than not doing it.  Just loosen up a bit, take shorter steps, and go with it.

[SonadoraXVX]

I'm thinking, your totally going to be a babe.

Mark my words.

Give yourself time

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

[NatalieRene]

Veronica how long have you been on HRT?

[veronicashannon88]

Veronica how long have you been on HRT?

About a month and a half now, with my low-dosage of spiro starting a lot more recently. I've been told that my facial features are pretty feminine, so I'm hoping my HRT continues to go smoothly.

I'm thinking, your totally going to be a babe.

Mark my words.

Give yourself time

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Awwww <3 You have no idea how much this means to me. I hope so! I think we're all on our way to becoming total babes!

Ah much improved!  (I'm totally digging the boots)

I had great success for color correcting (dark hair, fairly light skin) using a product called naked skin from urban decay.  Gently blot a little bit of that on in problem areas (gently, a little goes a long way) and then go with your regularly scheduled foundation.


Now when it comes to "the walk" and such: remember not to try too hard.  Yes it sounds counter-intuitive but forcing it too much is even more obvious than not doing it.  Just loosen up a bit, take shorter steps, and go with it.

I'll keep the notes in the walk in mind. But I've been trying to follow your advice through most of the weekend. I'll totes start looking into the make-up soon, hopefully during the holidays once I've got the cash for it. I've been starting to budget out my 13th month pay.

So, the wifey took me dress shopping yesterday. It was the first time I had ever actively sought out women's clothes. I got a nice pair of flair pants and this dress, which did brought me to tears the moment I slipped on.

[Northern Star Girl]

@veronicashannon88
Dear Veronica:
Thank you for sharing your terrific pictures.... and neat, you wife brought you dress shopping... It sounds like that you two had a great girls-time.

Having your wife with you and supporting you in that way certainly made the shopping experience much more comfortable for you... you are very fortunate.

There are lots and lots of great testimonials and sharing on the various threads regarding passing.   The forums is a great informational source... plan to spend time seaching and reading the many threads here... and like you have done, you can always ask questions.

Hugs,
Danielle

[DawnOday]

Hon, You are trying to run a sprint and passing, transitioning takes time, a marathon. One month? Might as well go ask the Genie to twitch her nose. You have so much to learn. Hair removal on it's own will take at least 18 months. Voice lessons? Took about two years and while I can maintain pitch, I can't control my gestures as well as I would like to. Practice makes perfect. If you are considering surgery you will probably need another year for authorizations and then there is the year you will spend on trial in your chosen gender.
As to what you wear. Are you looking for subtle suggestion of femininity or are you looking to knock socks off. Well if you are looking for the latter that will add another half a year in learning how to prepare yourself. I wear skinny jeans, boots or tennis shoes, simple blouses are probably better than wearing tight fitting sweaters. Sometime just wearing panties and a bra is enough to ease the dysphoria. When I attend more formal events then I have a little black dress or two. I noticed I felt more feminine when I put on bracelets and necklaces. I like large earrings but use your discretion.
Yes with proper techniques you can camouflage your beard but it is still going to show. Makeup is great but it won't make you talk with a pitch of F3 or higher.  I've been on hrt for over two years and while my facial features are softer, my waist has gone from 48 to 36. Hips are 45 and I wear a reasonable size 16 in actual fibers rather than the polyester of women.s plus size. My facial hair will be gone in about 5 more sessions. With your dark hair you can probably get laser hair removal which covers more area faster but is not permanent. Electrolysis is.

You will find your style eventually meanwhile your coworkers will get to know you and your story of struggling for identity. As with most education the more you know the better off you/they will be.

[veronicashannon88]

@veronicashannon88
Dear Veronica:
Thank you for sharing your terrific pictures.... and neat, you wife brought you dress shopping... It sounds like that you two had a great girls-time.

Having your wife with you and supporting you in that way certainly made the shopping experience much more comfortable for you... you are very fortunate.

There are lots and lots of great testimonials and sharing on the various threads regarding passing.   The forums is a great informational source... plan to spend time seaching and reading the many threads here... and like you have done, you can always ask questions.

Hugs,
Danielle

-huuuugs- Thank you, Danielle! I know how fortunate I am. I don't know where I would be without her, to be honest. I'm slowly making my way through the community. I've been a lurker on here for years and a lot of the stories shared here really did help me become more confident in owning the woman I'm becoming.

Hon, You are trying to run a sprint and passing, transitioning takes time, a marathon. One month? Might as well go ask the Genie to twitch her nose. You have so much to learn. Hair removal on it's own will take at least 18 months. Voice lessons? Took about two years and while I can maintain pitch, I can't control my gestures as well as I would like to. Practice makes perfect. If you are considering surgery you will probably need another year for authorizations and then there is the year you will spend on trial in your chosen gender.
As to what you wear. Are you looking for subtle suggestion of femininity or are you looking to knock socks off. Well if you are looking for the latter that will add another half a year in learning how to prepare yourself. I wear skinny jeans, boots or tennis shoes, simple blouses are probably better than wearing tight fitting sweaters. Sometime just wearing panties and a bra is enough to ease the dysphoria. When I attend more formal events then I have a little black dress or two. I noticed I felt more feminine when I put on bracelets and necklaces. I like large earrings but use your discretion.
Yes with proper techniques you can camouflage your beard but it is still going to show. Makeup is great but it won't make you talk with a pitch of F3 or higher.  I've been on hrt for over two years and while my facial features are softer, my waist has gone from 48 to 36. Hips are 45 and I wear a reasonable size 16 in actual fibers rather than the polyester of women.s plus size. My facial hair will be gone in about 5 more sessions. With your dark hair you can probably get laser hair removal which covers more area faster but is not permanent. Electrolysis is.

You will find your style eventually meanwhile your coworkers will get to know you and your story of struggling for identity. As with most education the more you know the better off you/they will be.

This is something a lot of my trans friends have been telling me. Generally, I can be very patient. I guess a lot of this comes from excitement. I had given myself around eight years to think all this through, so I guess it just all built up to that when I finally did it, I just got way ahead of myself.

Excitement aside, I am trying to be more patient and understanding with myself. I know there's so much ahead of me, not all of them good. Any physical changes really are just the tip of the iceberg. Thank you all for taking the time to listen and give me feedback! This all going to go such a long way for me, especially in the next couple months! You're all awesome and beautiful <3