I need to get my bladder scoped and I'm afraid I might have cancer

[scrambledeggs]

A few weeks ago I posted this topic: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242011.0.html

Since then I've followed up with an internist by phone and my urologist in person. The internist agreed that I probably had prostatitis and put me on an antibiotic. All has been well and there have been no signs of blood in my urine. That includes the urine test my urologist did.

My urologist initially agreed that this was prostatitis and sent me home. Then a short while later he called me back and said the only wait to rule out cancer or a polyp was to do a cystoscopy (scope my bladder).

Now I'm terrified. I just started my transition a little over three weeks ago. I've finally come to terms with who I am and what I want out of life. I made a huge decision by going to see gender therapists and starting HRT. I was on the road to be the person I was always meant to be.

I can't concentrate on anything else right now except the possibility I might have cancer. I just started growing my hair out and now all I can think about is it all falling out due to chemotherapy. If I have cancer I'll probably never be able to have FFS. What surgeon is going to touch me after this? And SRS? Forget about it, especially if I have to pee into a bag for the rest of my life. A cancer diagnosis means my transition is over.

I have to wait about two and a half weeks until my test. I don't know how I'm going to cope until then. I took a Xanax tonight which I rarely do unless I'm seriously having a panic attack. I know it's only a small chance of cancer but my mom had bladder cancer so this terrifies me. A few weeks ago my biggest fear was losing my job over being transgender. Now I just don't want to die.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rambling. This might just be a scream into the void but I needed to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

[Northern Star Girl]

@scrambledeggs
I feel for you and I am very sympathetic for you....  nothing worse and nothing harder that WAITING for the diagnosis. ... during that time try to not let your mind think the worst possible result....  easier said than done, but try to distract yourself with other events and activities.

Basically the good news is that both the Intern and your Urologist agreed that it is most likely something less threatening than cancer and I am thinking that your Urologist just wants to rule out cancer as he told you.... this is a good move and the safe move for you and the doctor.   Try not to fret, it could just be Prostatitis as they originally diagnosed, they just want to confirm that. 

Best wishes to you.
Danielle

[Jessica]

Try not to jump to conclusions before the facts.  I am going to be having a biopsy done on my vocal cord in case there is a chance of cancer.  The best way to go about this is believe that the best news will be the outcome.  My 89 yo mother just had the same test you will have, because of the same concern.  She was relieved entirely of thought that it was cancer after the procedure was done.  Look on the bright side of life and try not to worry.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[scrambledeggs]

Try not to jump to conclusions before the facts.  I am going to be having a biopsy done on my vocal cord in case there is a chance of cancer.  The best way to go about this is believe that the best news will be the outcome.  My 89 yo mother just had the same test you will have, because of the same concern.  She was relieved entirely of thought that it was cancer after the procedure was done.  Look on the bright side of life and try not to worry.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

I usually do my best not to just to conclusions but having this come up on top of feeling like crap because my hormones levels haven't stabilized yet. It's just been a tough couple of weeks and now this. I'm only 36 so I have a lot of potentially good years ahead of me and it's just hard to think that maybe they'll be taken away.

I do hope your biospy goes well! You'll be in my thoughts!

[scrambledeggs]

@scrambledeggs
I feel for you and I am very sympathetic for you....  nothing worse and nothing harder that WAITING for the diagnosis. ... during that time try to not let your mind think the worst possible result....  easier said than done, but try to distract yourself with other events and activities.

Basically the good news is that both the Intern and your Urologist agreed that it is most likely something less threatening than cancer and I am thinking that your Urologist just wants to rule out cancer as he told you.... this is a good move and the safe move for you and the doctor.   Try not to fret, it could just be Prostatitis as they originally diagnosed, they just want to confirm that. 

Best wishes to you.
Danielle

Distraction: easier said than done! I will do my best but it's going to be a long couple of weeks. Thank you for your kind words.

[ChrissyRyan]

A few weeks ago I posted this topic: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242011.0.html

Since then I've followed up with an internist by phone and my urologist in person. The internist agreed that I probably had prostatitis and put me on an antibiotic. All has been well and there have been no signs of blood in my urine. That includes the urine test my urologist did.

My urologist initially agreed that this was prostatitis and sent me home. Then a short while later he called me back and said the only wait to rule out cancer or a polyp was to do a cystoscopy (scope my bladder).

Now I'm terrified. I just started my transition a little over three weeks ago. I've finally come to terms with who I am and what I want out of life. I made a huge decision by going to see gender therapists and starting HRT. I was on the road to be the person I was always meant to be.

I can't concentrate on anything else right now except the possibility I might have cancer. I just started growing my hair out and now all I can think about is it all falling out due to chemotherapy. If I have cancer I'll probably never be able to have FFS. What surgeon is going to touch me after this? And SRS? Forget about it, especially if I have to pee into a bag for the rest of my life. A cancer diagnosis means my transition is over.

I have to wait about two and a half weeks until my test. I don't know how I'm going to cope until then. I took a Xanax tonight which I rarely do unless I'm seriously having a panic attack. I know it's only a small chance of cancer but my mom had bladder cancer so this terrifies me. A few weeks ago my biggest fear was losing my job over being transgender. Now I just don't want to die.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rambling. This might just be a scream into the void but I needed to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

I hope your upcoming test will not show cancer, or anything bad.

Chrissy

[DawnOday]

I had a similar revelation a few months ago and all I could think about was having come this far the party might be over. Lo and behold I turned out fine. In the last few months I have had a  colonoscopy, Endoscopy, swallow test, modified swallow test, aspiration Pneumonia, a cardio-version, and discussion on heart ablation. I'm pretty well back to normal. All that worry for nothing. I hope you get as good results has I have.