So i woke up this morning from a nasty dream. Thankfully it wasn't dysphoira related but it was uncomfortable nonetheless. It started with me being in a science class oddly enough located outside of my grade 9 science classe. Somehow something happened amongst myself and the peers in the class and I left. Suddenly I'm in some large mall. I see people from my high school back from the Quinte area of Ontario and people oddly enough from my current job here. I am walking then suddenly I see my high school ex and her friends. They are coming up to me basically doing what they did back then, yelling at me and telling me how everything is my fault. I walk away or try to to find my current friends but they keep coming after me and more intensively so. I go down stairs to the bathroom to try and regroup with my own friends but can't find them. I wake up feeling really confused about this dream.
My confusion lays with the fact that my ex and i broke up in 2010, got on bad terms in 2011 and stopped talking totally since about May 2012. Took me a small while after but I totally got over her. So much so I can't even remeber the last I thought of her let alone gave a real care to her.
We had a relationship that had good points, you could even say great. We "loved" eachother or so I thought. Anyways unnoticed after a trip to the east coast when I came back she seemed far more distant and colder. Aside from her hitting me when she was upset I thought it was a good relationship. She decided to break up with me two days before thanksgiving. I was so sad because I loved her at that time. I tried to talk to her and on occasion she seemed intrested in talking but very rarely. That didn't make her not saybthings about me. Her own cousin who doesn't like her or didn't at that time told me to stay away for my own protection. Saying that my ex uses me and apprently she even bragged to her friends she had me tied to her finger. I fatally ignored this advice. Fast forward to summer 2011 and now her and I are talking much more to the tune of even possibley getting a c together. Infact by late July we even had a day of hanging out and we spent the day together and doing some sexual things (tho not sex). The following day I laid in bed sad because I missed her again (I still deeply loved her then) and hoped things could get amended. One week later on August 4th or so I get a message from her basically saying she doesn't want me and thatbwe should keep some form of a distance. Basically she came over for a quicky and then lost interest after she got what she wanted.
At the end of August 2011 I had a massive meltdown mentally and such. My bevaior became much of high strung and off. Her friends still knew how much I loved her and kept telling me to say things to her to get her back. So I did thinking this would worknsomehow, I said things really childish and stupid and in hindsight embarrassing. But her friends were laughing and even she was laughing to some degree. Yet somehow she insisted that she was upset about the whole thing and proceeded to explain how much she doesn't like me, how she basically lied to me when she told me she loved me the whole time we dated and how I was the worst thing ever. Repeatedly for months. This came about until about May 2012 before graduating then I realized not only was I being kind of a punching bag for her but she was getting me to even take fault for things that were not even my issue. When I called her out and then told her about her flaws and her lies and deceit and hitting me when mad she starting the whole "blame me for everything tactic". Around that time I stopped talking to her.
She still talked about me on twitter and how bad I was and ect so one day I got rid of twitter and told peoplenwhy and she apprently had a freak out about it. Shortly before that time (July 2012) I was dating this girl kinda but we both stopped seeing eachother, a couple months later my ex suddenly decides to date that girls brother.....
Look I don't recall the last time I thought of her much or missed her it's been years. But that was a gross dream. I don't hate my ex nor want ill on her, granted if I saw her walking down the street regardless of weather or not she recognized me I would keep walking. But that freaked me out and I don't have much explaination why she came up
