'Sylvia, I remember your original post and was going to respond but cyberworld had other plans. I'm sorry that it's not been a positive change for you. I remember not long ago thinking if he wants to be a women then she needs to take some of the woman responsibility in the house. That this change can't be a woman with benefits type relationship. So I sat down and talked with her about how generally a woman is always hands on around the house and nurturing everyone under the roof. That she should have some of those responsibilities now as a woman. She agreed and said as a woman she enjoys helping around the house. I think communication is so essential. I don't know anything about your situation but I hope that in time changes will happen that benefits you as well.'
Sorry, I don't want to offend, but do people in this day and age really think that? Are there still 'female roles' and 'male roles'? In our relationship we've always taken equal responsibility around the house - he's tidier and more organised than me in any case. Yes, I guess I do most of the cooking, as I'm an ok cook and quite enjoy it, but I don't sew/knit/iron/flower arrange etc, I hate housework and I LOATHE clothes shopping! And he is quite practical (which I'm not) so does most of the fixing things. But I don't think it's ANYTHING to do with a 'woman's role'! We also parent our kids equally, we are equally nurturing and always have been. I certainly don't expect (or want!) him to don a frilly apron and duster and suddenly turn into some kind of domestic goddess (although I've always encouraged him to take up cooking as a hobby!).
Maybe he is getting the 'woman with benefits' deal here, as I've said, he really hasn't changed as a person at all since starting hormones, other than grown a pair of tits!
I suppose this is why I can't see ANY advantage to me. Yes, he's a bit happier in himself, which is great, but I'm yet to see any great joy or peace or huge empathy. He still has his demons and bad moods and gets angry about things that used to make him angry and reacts in the same way, still loathes any kind of socialising, hates people generally. Basically as much of a grumpy old man as he's ever been. Maybe I had a false hope that he'd change into a socialising, fun-loving friendly person (as I am) once he was running on the right fuel, but there are no signs of that happening.
But I love to see you taking it with such humour - we do too. I take the micky out of him quite often, and we often laugh about things together. It's the only way we can get through this.
Wishing you all the best.
Syl
